Thread: Unsatisfying sex

wow...this is something I never thought I would be posting about, hahahaha.

Okay...so as many of you know, I was a virgin when I first came on here...keyword WAS.

HERE is my situation. This guy and I have been having sex for about...a month and a half now. The first time with him sucked. I am not going to lie ( I did not lose my virginity to him). He fumbles.
Its not like he cannot get excited. Im great at that part, but when it gets down to it, he lacks...skill?

The other night, I got SO fed up, that I faked an orgasm because I was getting bored. I've tried telling him what to do, and how to please me, but its like he doesnt get it. Maybe he is too...inexperienced? I dont know. But you would think he would get better at it, instead of getting worse.
ANY ideas?

What does he do wrong? More info on what he's actually doing.

Thanx

also, get on top of him and take control, and do what pleases you.

You're also very inexperienced, and you need to learn to get yourself off.

Go to the video store and rent every movie thats starts with "Nina Hartley's Guide To ....."

Im always on top. I can acheive an orgasm then. He doesnt like it, but I know more than him.

For instances...
The other night, he kept trying to "pump himself up" during sex, which I found annoying. He would stop to give himself little pep talks. I even told him what to do in GREAT detail, because he seemed to be stumped with what to do.
Before we started having sex, he was always telling me how great he was in bed, blah blah blah...uhm...no.

Is it me with the problem here?

Don't have enough information to decide who is at fault.

Pep talks in the middle of sex? Kinda weird.

Is his problem that he cant stay hard or he comes too quick? If it's that, then its him.

If its not that, then its both of you. I guess talk it through... And if he's not good at "communicating". Dump him.

Originally Posted by acerousme

The other night, he kept trying to "pump himself up" during sex, which I found annoying. He would stop to give himself little pep talks. I even told him what to do in GREAT detail, because he seemed to be stumped with what to do.

LOL That is priceless! You just know he paid way too much money for some "better sex through hypnosis" CD from the back of a Playboy magazine.

"I am a golden God. My love is like lightning, it gives women orgasms. My junk has more mass than the earth, your junk half-staff, needs work."
"great, now screw me"
"Umm.... OK, the CD doesn't really teach technique but Ok....uh uh uh OK how was that?"


Schadenfreude makes me feel good.

perhaps all your instruction is distracting. If I was with someone that kept walking me through every little thing I'd probably be a little weird too. If you haven't been with a lot of people maybe you're just not used to different peoples different styles... lol but the pep talk is really weird... what does he say?! I really want to know.

He will say stuff like
"Okay buddy, get it together...mumble mumble mumble...we're doing good, keep it up. Look at her face, she loves it"....ehm...I'd love it even MORE if you would KEEP going. THEY ruin the mood!!!

He comes too quickly. But on other nights, he is a RABBIT! But its like....a kid in a candy store...he doesnt know what to do first...orr...you get my drift.

I've only helped him out once...because he was just so...frazzeled??
I dont want to leave him because the companionship is amazing...but the sex BLOWS...and not in a good way.

Oh, but we tried oral...he's pretty good at that..(I think its because his mouth is busy so he cant give himself pep talks)...but once again...when we get back to it...he....lacks....

Originally Posted by acerousme

He will say stuff like
"Okay buddy, get it together...mumble mumble mumble...we're doing good, keep it up. Look at her face, she loves it"....ehm...I'd love it even MORE if you would KEEP going. THEY ruin the mood!!!

Oh my. Poor fella. lol. Maybe you should start talking to his buddy too. Juuust kidding. hehehe. Gotta be honest though, that would totally kill the mood for me too.

Oooookay....first, I'd like you to tell us what YOU want (during sex of course)? In your opinion, what could he do that would make the sex good? Other than the obvious you want him to last longer...that comes with time. You're new to him, and I think he's putting ALOT of pressure on himself. Thus, the pep talks to his mister mister.

Actions do speak louder than words, and I think talking to him directly about this will only add more pressure to him.

So....before I can go into any detail, I need you to answer the question above.