Steph33

I have to word this right as my 2 questions are serious. My BF and I had a lengthy serious discussion this morning about his anatomy, reactions, erections and the volume of sperm he produces when he has an orgasm. As best he could he tried to explain the differences. I adore him for talking and trying to explain this stuff, never had a guy discuss such things. Most partners with a sex life can't talk about it any longer than it takes to get cranked up then have to "do it.".

Neither of these things seem connected to amount of sleep, how aroused, what we do, food, etc. They just occassionally happen. I wanted to help him duplicate (or stop it if I think need be) but he's explained he can't tell when either will happen or why, they "just do."

Most of the time when he gets an erection it's the same. He's fully hard and depending on what we're doing he either has to stop briefly or "hold" or "squeeze" the muscles in his groin to keep from cuming. Doing this we can enjoy more positions, he lasts longer for me, etc before he releases. When I finally tell him to cum and he releases, that's the last thing before afterplay (kissing, holding, talking). In about 5-15 minutes after his orgasm his erection starts to go soft. To me that's generally normal and he's 44 years old. Apologies baby, just mentioning your age in case it's a factor.

Occassionally (can be 1x a week, 1x a month, or 1x every several months) he can instantly "feel inside" his erection is very different. He does not have to "hold" to keep from cuming and can 100% totally relax all those "hold back" or squeeze muscles because he knows he won't cum. He does not have to pause to prevent release. He's the same size and hardness as far as I can tell. He says he feels slightly "tighter" inside below his testicles. But when he has this "other erection type" he can stay hard for a LONG time without any of the normal urgency or feeling he has to release or wants to cum. When he finally mentally decides he WANTS to allow his orgasm he can. But till then he's just totally rigid and can go for hours (literally), to the point where he can exhaust me. When I say I can't keep going and he needs to release, he finally releases after 30-40 seconds of actually trying to. He couldn't explain or come upwith the right words how he goes from no urgency or even thinking about cuming, then makes himself cum

In these instances he also stays TOTALLY hard long after releasing, an hour or 2 hours, sometimes longer, with zero reduction in how rigid he is at all. He can't release any sperm a 2nd time or have any groin contractions like an orgasm a 2nd time, he just stays fully erect. While he loves being able to do anything and everything I want till I'm exhausted, he says the "after feeling" physically "inside" of him quite isn't as good (physically relaxed, feeling "empty" and content) as his normal erections feel after release.

I want to know what might cause having this "other" type or kind of erection. Last night he had one of these "specials" and we went at it full bore basically non-stop for almost 2 hours. He leaks a little pre-cum during the sex but not much. I was totally exhausted and am actually sore today. He seemed as though he could have kept going for a lot longer and said so.

He loves being able to be a machine for me and just do (or have me do) whatever I want for as long as I want when a "banana" (his name for them) appears unscheduled. So naturally he tells me when he "has one" and wants me even more than normal only so I can make the most of it. I'm actually glad they're rare as it's more than I really need since my normal is to cum 3 times, occassionally 4-5 times, when making love. He's not hurting me, it still feels good but I know when I won't cum any more times.

Anyone else experienced in this ?? Is it something I can prevent or create?? Any idea why this 2nd type erection occassionally "just happens" ? The main reason I'm asking is because he's a heart patient (4x bypass and other stuff). When he does me for such a long time without cuming (which would normally happen after an hour of sex and shut him down) or any real need to stop (except to change positions or if I need a few seconds rest), I'm seriously concerned one of these marathons could potentially hurt him (cardiac).

The 2nd question is sperm volume. Again no connection I can tell related to sleep, what we do in bed, etc. And can be either "type" of erection I mentioned above he has. He has the same involuntary orgasm feeling every (or I guess most) men have. The pleasure is the uncontroled muscle or tendon contraction in his groin. The initial contractions producing sperm and the rest do not. He says the contractions feel exactly the "same good" to him, ejaculating or not. He actually told me once in his mind he counts the contractions during his orgasm, of course the more the better. He has from 8 or 9 up to 16-18 contractions. 95% of the time, no matter how many contractions, he releases the exact same amount of sperm. 1 contraction, 1 sperm stream, and then a smaller stream each time he contracts till he's empty. I think if I could weigh what he ejaculates, 95% of the time it would be almost exactly the same.

The other 5% are different and he told me he can't tell at all it will be different until 10-15 seconds before he cums. But those times the force and volume when he ejaculates is VERY MUCH higher. It's generally the same NUMBER of streams or "squirts" as he calls them, but 2-3 times the volume of sperm each stream and the force or exiting power of each stream is FAR more than normal.

I'm not worried about this as much as the first question and obviously they feel great to him since he feels himself having "harder" or "stronger" groin contractions. We had sex several months before one of these occassions and it happended to be a time I wanted him to release on my chest. It sort of freaked me out for a couple seconds because I could instantly tell it was so much more volume than before and I could feel the much more powerful force behind each stream. I was honestly scared he hurt something but as soon as he was done he explained what had happended and it "just happens" sometimes. Anyone else have this occassional VERY significant "difference" of volume experience or any idea why it happens?? If I knew something to do or how to help him produce the larger volume every time obviously I would.

As much as I want this for him, I also admit I get totally excited when it happens. So when he tells me it will be "big, I make him release on me so I can watch it and see the end results instead of cuming inside me. On the days he does one of these "larger" ejaculations, he completly colapses afterwards. After normal sex he will get me something to drink afterwards. We roll around, kiss, play, touch, talk, etc. In these higher volume instances, he literally won't (or can't) move for 10-15 minutes.

Any insights, help, or even logical guessing for eith questions would be appreciated.

Hopeless Dork

I don't know about this situation in particular and has many unique factors at play, his age, his heart history etc.

I think many guys in general have different types of orgasms and release amounts, I know mine does and hes 29 in perfect health. Sometimes its less sometimes its a LOT, sometimes he goes off earlier and sometimes he takes longer and I can't seem to see any repeating patterns that cause it. I know that when a guys dehydrated or is orgasming often the amount will tend to be less.

We women have various orgasms as well, sometimes ejaculating , sometimes not, sometimes coming right away sometimes taking a long time or in some cases not all. Some are intense leg shakers while some are just subtle yet satisfying.

It seems he has his contractions and such all down to a science, so if you see a pattern that develops on the days he has the bigger payout maybe there is something to it, external factors, what you are doing at that particular sex session, emotionally or just over all health wise, how much sleep he's had etc.. although you say you note no difference to any of those things so its possible its just some medical/biological thing where he has more blood flow some sessions than others?

It sounds like the 2 of you have a pretty fullfilling and fun sex life and I see you wanting to make it the best for him that it can be, he sounds pretty satisfied and you get to enjoy the spontaniety of 'is this gonna be a whopper' lol.. you know what I mean? let the little amounts in between the bigger ones just make the biggers all that much more exciting

I've heard that men after having bi-pass surgery get a really huge increase in drive as their blood flow is moving around better and they just feel so much less sluggish and more ready to conquer all!

__________________
-------------
Defintion of Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." - Albert Einstein

SinisterUrge

I know who I want to be like when I grow up.

WildChild

This sounds like he may have discovered all on his own but not consciously, a tantric method used to hold off ejaculation and maintain a erection and orgasm for an extended period of time. I've read about but have only met one man who could apparently do it and he also did it unconsciously. I love sex and could keep at it for a good long while but after about 6 hours it started getting a bit old - if you know what I mean? Especially since he wasn't very creative or caring lover.

With vigra and that sort of stuff this is considered a possible health threat, I don't know about in a non-drug situation. Maybe talk with a urolgist?

SoCoKen

As a guy, I think I can relate to what he is saying. Sometimes, I have an orgasm, and sometimes I have an ORGASM. Sometimes, it feels like there is too much trying to get out at once, and it sort of feels like its all jammed up. If I wait a few days without cumming, I feel like I should cum more quickly. Thats not how it works for me, however, and it feels like I have too much built up and its like a traffic jam trying to get out. I can tell almost right away what it feels like, and when its the good kind, I know its going to be a long night for my girl and a good night for me!

I am in my mid twenties and VERY healthy. Dont worry about him, he is fine!

Steph33

Wildchild and Hopeless Dork:

I wrote this off line and was just ready to paste it when I saw Wildchild’s comment. I sort of understood what you wrote but can you elaborate please ? As seen below, my guy doesn’t think about the type of erection under discussion, can’t produce them “at will,” and I can’t make them happen. They just “happen.“ When I read 6 hours in your post I admit I got sore thinking about it. During one of these “special erection” sessions we’ve done 3 hours, but maybe a third of that time of was kissing, holding taking a break, talking, trying different positions and locations, laughing, etc. But when I push him to “go for it” I can’t take more than 90 minutes to 2 hours. Frankly, without trying to hurt me if he bangs on my that constantly for 2 hours I just get sore even if we‘re changing positions often. I'll take your advice about asking a urologist, I wrote below I was going to ask my family doctor.

Both these things I asked about also happened before his open heart surgery. But before surgery he suffered TERRIBLY afterwards with horrible angina and gasping for air because his heart didn’t process enough oxygen (his arteries were 90% blocked). And after sex his face was as white as a sheet. I’d probably have lost him if I didn’t tell him no sex till you see a doctor, then force him the same way to have the surgery since he was scared I wouldn’t want him anymore because of the scar (that‘s already gone). I guess at 44 men can get scared they aren’t “desired” by their partner, add to that I’m 10 years younger.

I think most men, if they want to, can “hold off” releasing by stopping, the squeezing I described or whatever. Most men just don’t really want to hold on, laugh. My guy holds for the time needed for me to cum as he knows it’s normally takes longer for a female. And we enjoy the “other“ physical enjoyments of 5-6 different positions in a session. For him getting excited and the level of arousal after we start is more about what he sees, hears and tastes than actually does (if his explanation makes any sense to you).

In his case when we do it often, he still cums the normal amount. But he needs the rest between sessions to function. He can’t do it all again 15 minutes after releasing. But after a brief nap (1 hour) or other rest, if he’s hard, he will cum, and I can make him hard. So he can do it 4-5 times in a 24 hour period with the right breaks, and he produces his normal volume of sperm each time.

I never ejaculated (squirted) though we’ve tried every hand (mine and his) or other thing imaginable to do it. His dream wish is for that to happen while he gives me oral (to each his own). I do get totally soaked every time during sex. None of his doctors ever said anything about drinking fluids/dehydration as far as sex though he drinks an insane amount of water now daily by doctor orders. Thanks for that dehydration comment and I’ll be aware to watch for that, especially in this first summer now coming up since surgery. But as I said, I see no trigger or pattern and both things happened before surgery though as I said in this post, much more pleasant for him now afterwards than before.

I seem to be maybe different than you with the way I cum. My average orgasm is pretty strong (trying to be a lady here) while times when he wants to really totally mess with my mind and do way extra work, get me near it, stop, restart, etc several times, my end result is almost violent with more than major screaming. But I don’t like that every single time, for some reason. He’s my best lover ever for his facial expression, verbal, gentle, and affection stuff I get. Not for these big releases for the erections I’m asking about. Normally my first of 3 average orgasms happens 20-30 minutes into a session. Other times the first happens faster. He’s not into doggy style because he can’t see my face but does it for part of sex because I like it. Many times in that position his 1st thrust into me makes me cum.

One thing I forgot with my opening part of this thread. His erections always point up and parallel to his abdomen. I said the degree of rigid of his penis itself is the same normal or when he gets one of these unplanned erection “specials.” But I do notice during normal sex it is easier for me to bend his whole penis to place him inside me when I’m on top. During his “banana” type erections it’s noticeably harder to bend him enough to get him in me and it’s actually a bit uncomfortable for him when I do it. Its like his whole groin and lower abdomen is hard and I have to force it, but once inside me he’s fine.

The frustration is neither thing I’ve asked seems to have anything to do with me. I’ve experienced a “magic” erection or the way more volume sperm release in a romantic situation. When dressed his favorite way. At 6 AM, at 6 PM, and at 2 AM. But also wearing sweats and looking like total while cleaning out the garage (he was nowhere in sight but came running to get me) ??

When the “extra hard enduring” erection thing just “happens” and all I hear is “banana” as he’s rushing to get his pants off. That’s my queue to drop anything and take him. I’ve learned and understand by now he wants me to “have” these things when they happen simply for me. I can tell the ONLY thing he’s actually getting (feeling) is being able to perform without breaks and just last far longer so I can do, or have him do to me, whatever I want. His body basically doesn’t care or want to cum and he doesn‘t think about cuming in those sessions (that’s the weird part for me).

But he gets and loves the “mental/emotional” (not ego) of me being able to do or ask for anything without him stopping for as long as I want (it’s sometimes more than I could want). I asked him again today about his spontaneous “super hard ons” and he repeated he’s not thinking about anything or looking at anything, they just occasionally happen on their own. I shake my head thinking about guys in my past who were on me and off me before I knew what happened,. So I’m not complaining about an erection that lasts for hours exactly. Just wish to understand it.

Thanks, and yes we both think we have a great sex life. My ex-husband was a sicko who made me do stuff I hated, then did zero for me physically or emotionally (no kissing, oral sex, verbal, etc). That was wasted years feeling like a disposable free . Now I have a guy who is so totally opposite of that it’s like the 2 men are different species. If I allow my BF only 1 choice between having actual intercourse and giving me oral sex, I might as well sew myself shut. He’s the only partner I’ve ever had who can fully cum and release just from HIM giving ME oral. Of course he likes intercourse too and we do.

He’s been “randy” for me often (daily) since the first time we had sex 3 years ago, but I can tell since heart surgery he feels better so can enjoy the whole playful and everything else more. He’s getting normal oxygen and blood flow to his brain and the rest of his body. And I don’t get upset when we’re done watching him gasping for air he wasn’t getting or his God awful facial expression of pain from angina.

God, if he EVER sees the posts I’ve put on this site about him (and us) he’ll either run away or to be to embarrassed to look me in the face for a month, even though I don‘t think any are bad.

I do sometimes wish I could “use” these 2 things that happen to my BF for a degree of revenge, hope that doesn’t make me an a**hole. He knows about my marriage from early conversations in our exchange and now it’s never a subject (ancient history to us both). And being very anti-porn (BF thinks its gross and degrading) I’d never even consider asking him. But my ex-husband is 10 years younger than my BF and was also a total loser in duration and minimal in his release even with all the porno, 2nd female there, etc. I had to sit with him and watch his low quality “pig porn,” guys with abnormal large packages, weird to sicko stuff being done, etc. But when it was time for these porn guys to actually release, I never saw one produce the actual volume of sperm and pressure my BF does when he releases one of his (what you called) “a whopper” (laugh). Some tiny “get even” part of my mind wishes I could send my ex-husband a film clip of my BF unloading on my chest when he has one of these unplanned “larger” releases with a note “he’s 10 years older than you, smart, kind, considerate, loving, generous, and as you can see out performs you like Little League verses the World Series.” But I just shut up and am grateful.

Thanks again for mentioning the dehydration point and also that your guy also releases different amounts. I must have always been with somewhat “constant” men in the past as all pretty much released the same amount every time. It was just a matter of erect or not, cum or can’t. No volume variation. Funny how the ones with erection or release problems were all 10 or more years younger than my BF.

I’m going to get an appointment with the doctor I’ve had since childhood to ask for any medical suggestions (and explanation) to try and help my sweetie produce these much larger volume releases more often. Not sure how I’ll explain it to my age 60+ doctor so hope he doesn‘t faint.

I’d welcome any other suggestions for that, and honestly feel a good (and related to) that some other women have guys who are similar to mine in at least 1 of the 2 questions I asked. Though most men would freak reading what we write here if they knew it was about them personally.

Hopeless Dork

Thanks Steff, Yeah hydration plays a major roll in semen production. You can google up (I know we can't do links here) some of those key words there and get loads (no pun intended) of info on things in the diet to also help with fluid production. But one of the key things they mention is dehydration leading to a decreased amount of semen so yeah have him drinking plenty of water!! Especially with the way you two stay active hehe.

Certain vitamins and foods rich in these certain vitamins have been found to increase volume as well, zinc being taking the lead on that one. Guess which food has the most zinc? Oysters. They are known for being aphrodesiacs, but the reason is in the zinc its link to sperm production.

Other vitamins and minerals are also key to bodily fluids and sperm in particular.

__________________
-------------
Defintion of Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." - Albert Einstein