jde

Hi! I am 23 year old female who just got married 3 months ago. My husband and I were together 5 years and did not have any sexual intercourse until our wedding night. We were definately active in any other sexual activity until our wedding. Before the wedding- my libido was ridiculous- I was just dying to have him and thought about it constantly- I almost thought something was wrong with me. Now that we are married, I have totally lost interest in sex- It seems like a switch was just turned off. My husband is very busy with a doctorate program therefore he isnt much interested in me either- I am rather stressed out at work as well, and I'm wondering if it could just be the stress or what our problem is- I am just so shocked that we are newlyweds that never had sex for 5 years and now we're down to nothing- We were crazy about each other prior to the wedding- What could be happening to us???? I also just started Yaz for birth control could this be affecting my sexual drive?? Any tips/techniques for us to jump start our relationship?? Thanks!! :-)

rcoreyus

Others can comment on whether the birth control could be doing it. If so, I think it is better to skip the birth control and do things that can't get you pregnant, rather than end your sex life.

If it is not the Yaz, could it be that when you finally had sex it didn't live up to your 5 years of anticipation? I don't know if you were doing sexual things other than intercourse before you were married - if so, maybe intercourse itself isn't that big a deal for you. Lots of people enjoy other sexual activities as much.

As far as techniques - set aside time to be intimate. Make it an important part of the day, not just something to do when all the chores are done.

tearsofjoy89

My best guess would be all the stress...Back a few months ago I tried working two full time jobs. I was exhausted all the time and my fiancee and I had very minimal, if any, sex...

I've never been on any kind of birth control, so don't really have an opinion there.

My suggestion would be to take time out of your busy schedules to just be with each other, whether it's just a night out or an old movie on the couch. These calm moments could gradually lead you two back to the intimacy you had at the start of your relationship.

Hope that helps a bit!! Good Luck!

KT

SinisterUrge

Crazy sex until marriage and then suddenly you have no interest in sex? Sounds like you're a perfectly normal wife.

skipper

Call hubby and make a date for some intimate time. We get so involved w/ day to day activites and the stresses of work that we often forget why we are doing it and what is really important. Sometimes the wife and I get so busy that we have to make a date to have sex. Once you have a date set, get ready, set the mood and then remember why you couldn't wait to jump his bones b/f you were married ... then jump his bones.

mewhenim

I agree, set aside time, have "date night", also I'm guessing it may not have been that great... this isn't unusual if you were both virgins, or out of practice for 5 years. Each do some research, set a dead line and (maybe 1-2 weeks) so it isn't too much pressure and on that night you two could show each other the new tricks you've learned. Sounds like fun to me!

jde

Thank-you so much for all your help. I totally agree that we need to set more time aside for each other, and I can definately see how 'sex' is not a big step for us. And of course now that we can have sex, thats all we do- Maybe we need to mix it up a bit with more oral. I just feel that I am really disappointing him when we had this huge 'build up' anticipation of sex- Also- I have never had an orgasm- Ever and that is a huge issue for my husband- I thought for sure- once I was able to have sex that it would come, but nothing so far..... Hopefully we can figure out something to help me- I really think that my ability to have an orgasm would increase or restore our sexual relationship. We'll see- Thanks for the advice!

jde