Meisje

Hmm, where to start..

Well I'm 24 and I've been with my man for 2 years, we are both mature, serious and exclusive. We talk about our future and our lives together very often and we're deeply in love... so I don't think there are any underlying relationship issues going on.

BUT, I don't have a libido. I love him, he's wonderful, I want to be with him all the time... but I just very rarely get frisky. When he initiates I go along with it, but often half-heartedly. It upsets me because I don't want him to think I'm not attracted to him. We have talked about it many times, and he is okay with it, very understanding and he never pushes me.

When we do have sex, I often experience pain or discomfort, especially upon initial entry. We have tried to fix this by using lots of lube (have tried several different brands, water-based, oil-based, natural and synthetic) and that usually helps a bit, but not entirely. This MAY just be because of size, but I would think that after 2 years my body would have adjusted to it. After the initial challenge, I enjoy sex. Sometimes though, I feel like I've had enough sooner than I would have hoped, and I want to stop. Often before either of us have orgasmed. We've also tried watching porn together, haha... but that didn't really go over well, he found it to be a bit awkward.

I have had a couple conversations with my obgyn, and nothing really came of it, and all my PAPs have been normal.

SO... I don't know if my lack of interest in initiating sex is because my body is remembering the pain from last time and "shutting off" my libido so it doesn't have to do all that again... or if it's an emotional thing, or a cycle thing, or an imaginary thing... haha.

Any ideas?

sourpuss

Are you on birth control? I had no interest in sex when I was on the pill.

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Meisje

Yeah, I am. But I thought about that, and I stopped taking it for a while - no change. Then I tried a prescription with a lower dose of estrogen and still no change.

Peacheskreme

Uhh..well im 24 as well. And I have the perfect man. We just don't have sex anymore. Its my fault really cause I'm not into it. I think I have some issues with him that I have never had before. I have been treated badly in the past and this is the first genuine "all around good guy" ive had. I dunno. I don't even like it when he goes down on me. AND I USED TO LOVE THAT MORE THAN ANYTHING.

I'm in the same boat.

As with the hurting in the beginning.. try swtiching to non latex condoms. They are pretty pricey and harder to put on but that helps. You could just be irritated from something.

If you two do not use condoms.. found the right person blah blah..then Its all a matter of relaxation. Drink some wine and foreplay.



AS for me. Its just my own insecuritiesl..oh and one other big issue. I have anxiety so I'm always swtiching meds all the time. I'm dragging my boyfriend into because we don't have sex but he doesn't complain much. He understands and tries to comfort me but i just have no libido.

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