confused

**mossifern** · 04-04-2009 06:35 PM

hi, my partner (man) is 36 and i am 27,
we have been traveling together, having a very loving relationship, all the nurturing i could possibly ever need, for the last yr and a half.
Our sex life is not happening now, we have had amazing sex but now its only every month or two wks really erratic.
he says hes too tired all the time and doesnt want a baby(im not on the pill)but know my body and i can understand the tiredness but im concerned as he watches porn and wanks while im sleeping not offering any experience to share, whilst im left to feel not good enough.... but i know im ok.(not to blow my own horn or anything)you know how it is girls!!haha
what you think?
as i am starting to really get annoyed as i like sex on a wkly basis
am i wasting my time or is there something really going on with him
(selfish or what??)write some thoughts for me xo

**WildChild** · 04-04-2009 08:42 PM

This seems to be some sort of epidemic sweeping the planet. Personally I'm getting tired of it. For years men have complained of women with little or no sex drive but it looks like plenty of men have a problem with it too!

A woman who isn't very interested may "give in" just to please a man but I've yet to meet a man who will do so. I get hit on by 20 and 30 somethings (one in the gym today) but the only man I'm interested in seems to think I should be good with once every week or two and it seems to be getting more basic all the time. What is up with this stuff?! Is it the acid rain (oh, wait, this is high desert we don't get that much rain) or something in the air?

**WildChild** · 04-04-2009 08:43 PM

Forget the weekly basis stuff - daily at least!

**mossifern** · 04-04-2009 09:04 PM

thanks for the reply!

aha i don't know either...

maybe its got something to do with the planet being over populated
all are turning gay ha ha ha

i dont think there is anything wrong with once a day,
if you have the right man of course!!

well, i thought i found him but maybe not hey!!

the feelings and pleasure have to be reciprocated

yep he thinks im a nympho

and then he goes and watches trannies and grannies

ahhhh dont get it !! (IM SEXY god dam it)

**skipper** · 04-05-2009 11:44 AM

Not sure if I'm anywhere close, but your mention of a baby sure caught my eye. Concern over an unwanted pregnancy would sure stop me in my tracks.

Lack of sexual interest in your SO while still having a healthy sex drive is a strong indicator that something is not right w/ the relationship.

**SiCk** · 04-05-2009 12:10 PM

I'd tell him, that I have needs for sex..If not, say see ya!!!

**rcoreyus** · 04-05-2009 11:47 PM

Please, don't mix up your sex life and (what I sense) is a disagreement over wanting a child. See if he is willing to do things in bed that can't get you pregnant. You need to figure out what the problem is: is he afraid of sex because he doesn't want a child, or does he not want sex.

**WildChild** · 04-06-2009 12:02 AM

In all seriousness the pregnancy spector can put a real damper on things. Why are you not on the pill? Many women can't take it - I'm one, I developed clotting trouble with it. There are a variety of alternatives which work very well so long as they are used appropriately. How about a diaphram? Visit planned parenthood or whatever equivalent they have where you are, you will find lots of information and help.

**mossifern** · 08-17-2009 09:53 PM

This is from an old one girls, but am back on the site....

no we are not wanting a baby and
im not on the pill
i dont feel that i need to be.a bit old fashioned i suppose, dont like doctor medication, plus there is plenty we can do without being on the pill

why i write again is because it changed for a bit but he comes in like a minute or two and i havent even begun yet...i know he loves me but youd think for a man of his thirties he could last longer than that
(he does smoke is that related)
and any ideas on quiting??
plus he has gone to russian mature porn, whilst the chicks having the same hair colour as me ..phist!!
get it...
oh not worried at all.....hahahahahahyeah right i really love this guy !!

**Hopeless Dork** · 08-18-2009 12:45 AM

I think if a guy has had an experience with a gf with a low drive, or just been given the impression from society that girls don't like sex and its more of a favor they are doing -- they sometimes will masturbate instead of troubling with sex.

Letting him know you want more of him, how important it is for you to feel that intimacy with him to be satisfied - he might just understand.

And even when they know their woman wants sex, some guys will still be selfish and choose to masturbate instead of provide her with it just to get it over with quick and easy, get the release and go on about their day. No pressure, no needing to please someone else, no cuddling after etc.

Its fine for them to do that sometimes, a little self-pleasure never hurt anyone. But too much of it , so much he has no energy left over to give you and that is a problem. He sounds like a good guy from what you say about how nurturing and loving he is.

I am sure if you helped him understand how much you need him, he would be able to cut back on the hand to give you some more action.

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