Thread: She wants to be 'dominated', what is she looking for?

wouldn't ya know my Mom wants to come visit this weekend! of all the weekends to visit I have to postpone my fun until the 18th. well that will give me more time to plan.....

Wow. Sounds like the beginning of my situation. I will share my story and maybe it will give you ideas on how to progress. My wife did not know that she wanted to be dominated and I did not know I liked to dominate. We just kind of stumbled on it when I lovingly held her shoulders down while making love. She said she liked that. Felt I was controlling her. So next thing was holding her hands behind her back while making love. Then it was soft hair pulling. Then it was holding legs open. Then she told me one day that she was embarrassed but wanted to tell me she wanted me to tie her up. So I researched light Bondage on the net. TwistedMonk is a good sight (not porno). Kind of did some homework, practiced knots and how to tie without hurting her. Then one day we stayed in a hotel and I blindfolded her, and tied a silk scarf through her mouth and around her head, tied her hands to legs, and the rest I can't say. She loved it to say the least. She says she can't explain it but loves for me to take control and dominate her. Says it is exciting not knowing what I will be next and loves for me to use her for my pleasure.

So I would say try those little things like holding down, using a little loving force. Maybe tie hands down to legs. Blindfolding. See if she and you like that, then that will probably open things up for more discussion.

I'd say be careful with this, be very very careful. It may not be an issue, but I could envision some women using it for leverage in a future divorce proceeding.....

She wants a tarzan of the jungle, macho, male man, blockey kind a guy, hard muscled, horney insatiable, to take her in his powerful arms slam her down on the bed and frantically tear her cloths off so she feels like hes a real man, not just a wimpy, weak, feminine kinda guy.

You dont have to hurt her just grab her gently take control rip her panties apart like the animal that you are and gently make love to her.

I love it when I get dominated.

To me, it's the following:

1.) Unexpected
2.) In a place I wouldn't normally do it
3.) Even if my mind isn't on sex, you turn me on so much that I'm down for doing whatever, whenever
4.) Rougher than normal -- feels more like a passionate need than "making love"
5.) There are certain touches you can do to make it feel like I'm being dominated, i.e. putting your hand around my throat (not choking me, but more of a possessive gesture), keeping your hand over my mouth whenever I get a bit noisy. Stuff like that, rough housing, but not hurting.
6.) Make me do what you -want- me to do. My ex used to wait til I had my first orgasm, then pull out, get me on my knees, and f_ck my mouth whenever he was in the dominating mood. I loved it.

Some people might define it differently, but that's what it means to me, and it is hands down my favorite way of doing things. ^_~

I've never been dominated by my husband. In fact, I'm usually the one to initiate sex. When we do it, I am usually on top and in control. Only once did he carry me upstairs to have sex, then I was on top as usual. I wish that only once, he would drag me upstairs by my hair and take me like a caveman, so I would know what it was like. It will probably never happen.

All the hype in this thread and other threads has me seriously wondering if I'm missing out on a good thing.

If you want your SO to take you roughly, then tell him. Be sure you both understand what you mean (rough can mean very very different things to different people). If you are doing anything with pretend forcing be sure to have a safe-word to stop the game if you aren't enjoying it.

Your SO might enjoy this sort of game a lot, but just not feel right bringing it up with you.

Again - be sure you both understand what you mean by "rough".