Ladies: question about who initiates sex
Hi everyone! I was just wondering if it's normal for a woman to be the only one in a relationship to initiate sex. I mean whenever I do my husband gets turned on and we do it, but if I don't - he never initiates it and we can go for many days without having sex. I mean is there something wrong or for some couples it's just the way it is? Are there many women with the same problem?
I've always been the main iniatior for sex in my relationship. It's hard for me to tell whether or not he would initiate it if I didn't because I never wait long enough to find out lol. As soon as he sits next to me I am ready to pounceSometimes though, I can tell when he is in the mood, but he is not very aggressive about it, never has been. It does sometimes make me feel a little insecure because I wonder if he is only doing it because I want to so badly or if he is genuinly interested in it at the same time as me.
But with those weird random self-doubts out of the equation I love being the one to inniatiate. It feels like I get to be a seductress almost every time we do it, I like taking him from 0-60 in just few touches, there is some power in it that feels good. But it is also nice when he is the one going in for the feel up and I know he wants it before I even start messing around.
I've also noticed that he can go longer than me without needing it, or at least it seems that way but then I may just be oversexxed. I am obsessed with his penis and want to play with it all the time lol. I have a feeling he may be utilizing porn a little, we don't live together and even if we did I am sure he'd still probably want that drive thru micky d's orgasm that only porn can provide. So i think that may curb some of his need for me, where as I pretty much just wait for our encounters to be satisfied. I should probably masturbate a little more and maybe be less of a burden on him in that way?
Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.
We both want sex about the same number of times. I love when he starts or we start together. But my BF loses his mind when I just "take him" aggressivly and enjoy both that making him putty in my hands as well as how excited he gets when I do. Same if I "order" him to make love to me (a little more aggressive terms used) he starts shaking like a 15 year old about to see his first boob while he fumbles to get his clothes off as fast as he can. It's hysterical and sweet at the same time because all he can manage to say is "Yes baby, tell me what to do, PLEASE".
Depends but my recent ex virtually never initiated sex. At first he would respond if I initiated, later it ceased to be worth the effort. He turned out to have serious health issues and hormone problems. So maybe get him to get a complete physical?
I think I initiate sex about 80% of the time. However, if you asked my wife I'm sure she would say she initiates sex 60% of the time. I don't know, maybe she is having sex with somebody else ....
lol skipper... certainly hope not...
well olik this may not help much being that you're also a female, but my bf initiates most of the time for a couple of reasons. 1. because he has a ridiculously high sex drive and honestly needs it like 3x a day, which I can't give him unless I quit my job/internship/school and hung out naked all day lol - so he has to suffer through 1x a day. 2. and the biggest reason - I come from a very conservative household in which sex was a huge taboo and most certainly girls never 'want' sex, they just take it as part of their marital duty type attitude. So I feel very shy and unsure of myself about initiating. I want to sometimes (and I do), but I feel completely out on a limb and 'inappropriate'. I'm also completely afraid of rejection (but realistically he'd never turn me down lol). It's something I'm aware of and am trying to work through - but it's still a struggle.
Anyway, who knows why your partner doesn't initiate... could be a conservative background... could also be health-related... could also be that his sex drive isn't as high as yours so he isn't given the time to start feeling like he desperately needs it.
I always say I will initiate sex but I never do, mainly because of the rejection issue. Sometimes I can be so ready to go and the minute I see my boyfriend, before I even say anything about wanting sex, he will be like "I had a tough day at work and I am very tired we can just watch tv tonight" so its like oh and I don't bother bringing it up.
Well that just stinks! Next time he says that and you are horny, slink up to him, whisper in his ear 'are you sure?', unzip his pants and start working on him either with your hands or mouth or both. I'll give you 99 to 1 odds, he will find new found strength. Men are easily seduced.Originally Posted by ItsASecret
I can relate to this completely. I am usually ready to go, always and I know my boyfriend knows this...lol its pretty obvious. Sometimes he will say that he's very tired, exhausted today or something similiar before I even sit next to him. He doesn't say he doesn't want sex but I always feel thats my cue to back off and I do.
Of course he might just be telling me he's tired and not meaning to imply he doesn't want to get physical but that is how I take it. And I trully don't mind it. I am aware that I have a higher drive and of course I would be estatic if he wanted me as often as I want him, but when my self-esteem is where it should be it doesnt bother me that he doesn't.
I can sometimes start feeling unnatractive when a couple days go by without him showing signs of interest in the sexual aspect of our relationship and I know that is pretty stupid as I shouldn't validate my own worth by how many of his erections I am personally responsible for... but in all honesty sometimes I do.
Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.
I am mad. A few of you women initiate lots of sex and want it more than I expected. My g/f has issues with sex and needs to emotionaly "prepare" for it. We have a long distance relationship and only see each other 3 weekends a month. If I get super lucky one of those weekends won't be when she is on her period (she won't have sex then). So pretty much I only get to have sex twice a month! I wish she was more like some of you women. I want to have sex 3x a day and could if given the opportunity. I would NEVER say I am too tired for sex. I will NEVER turn down sex if my g/f initiates it. me why am I cursed.
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