Maybe i'm being selfish but..

MissSweets18 · 04-22-2009, 06:44 AM

Well me and by boyfriend have been sexually active for about..2-3 months now. well anyways, i have no problem getting him hard or anything but i mean.. we really never seem to have much fun, i mean we've never done it in any type of romantic type of way its always the lets just get down to buisness kind of thing, its like the second he gets in the mood we are already doing it... for some reason i'm just looking for more in our sexual relationship i'm just not sure what.. and what i should say to him about it. theres like nothing special about it or anything, its just like a routine or something.

Now problem two. Well when we actually get to doing it i mean, it honestly takes him less than a minute to cum usually, i mean once in a while he can go longer, and its great... but i mean i rarely get much pleasure out of it... and he doesn't like doing things orally cause he says its too akward.. and he does use his finger once in a while... but he doesnt do it for very long, so i dont get much out of that either.. i think he expects me to go off as fast as he does or something.. i dont know.. is there any ways i can make this better? Cause i honestly think this is the guy i want to be with... but i dont want our sex life to always be like this...

**ItsASecret** · 04-22-2009, 08:55 AM

Talk to him about it.

**golden_nemesis** · 04-22-2009, 10:54 AM

The whole minute sex thing is pretty typical of teenagers. I am assuming you guys are pretty young. Age and experience usually help stretch it out. And I don't know if he has had other partners or if you are his first, but wither way, he won't know he's doing anything wrong unless you tell him so. Then again, don't tell him he's doing it wrong in so many words.

This horse you-know-what about oral being awkward is probably just to mask nervousness or inexperience. Ask him to give it a try, tell him you'll be his oral guinea pig. Masturbate in front of him, show him what you like. And during sex and foreplay, straight-up ask for what you want. "Put your finger in my (fill in blank)", "Stroke/suck my (fill in blank)", "Go slower/faster/deeper/shallower". Most guys will appreciate the directions.

During sex, you could also try being in charge, getting on top, and taking it really, really slowly, and if you see him start to come close, stop moving, just tell him to focus on the feeling of being inside of you, without the movement. Slowing things down should help, as well as trying to focus him on some good foreplay.

Also, just had to respond to your comment of it not being romantic. Guys just tend to be less romantic than girls. If you want it to be romantic, make it romantic. Make a home-cooked meal, buy fresh flowers, put on some pretty clothes, light some candles and play sensual music. If he has any brains at all he will respond to this, and may even like it. It would probably put a whole new spin on things.

Just keep in mind that to see results, you need to take initiative.

MissSweets18 · 04-22-2009, 12:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by golden_nemesis

The whole minute sex thing is pretty typical of teenagers. I am assuming you guys are pretty young. Age and experience usually help stretch it out. And I don't know if he has had other partners or if you are his first, but wither way, he won't know he's doing anything wrong unless you tell him so. Then again, don't tell him he's doing it wrong in so many words.

This horse you-know-what about oral being awkward is probably just to mask nervousness or inexperience. Ask him to give it a try, tell him you'll be his oral guinea pig. Masturbate in front of him, show him what you like. And during sex and foreplay, straight-up ask for what you want. "Put your finger in my (fill in blank)", "Stroke/suck my (fill in blank)", "Go slower/faster/deeper/shallower". Most guys will appreciate the directions.

During sex, you could also try being in charge, getting on top, and taking it really, really slowly, and if you see him start to come close, stop moving, just tell him to focus on the feeling of being inside of you, without the movement. Slowing things down should help, as well as trying to focus him on some good foreplay.

Also, just had to respond to your comment of it not being romantic. Guys just tend to be less romantic than girls. If you want it to be romantic, make it romantic. Make a home-cooked meal, buy fresh flowers, put on some pretty clothes, light some candles and play sensual music. If he has any brains at all he will respond to this, and may even like it. It would probably put a whole new spin on things.

Just keep in mind that to see results, you need to take initiative.

thank you. i really appreciate it.

**kms** · 04-22-2009, 11:16 PM

Agreed, you need to talk to him about it. Being on the other side (aka not entirely experienced and feeling awkward about the whole sex thing), it has really helped immensely to have my bf talk to me about what he needs and him asking me what I like and what I need as well. I'm sure he can tell you're not happy, so it'll help clear the air and open the door for a solution if you just talk to him about it honestly (but nonjudgmentally and understandingly regarding where he's coming from).

**nightqueen** · 05-06-2009, 06:23 PM

He doesn't sound very caring of your needs. Are you sure he's the one you want to be with?

**Favored** · 05-06-2009, 08:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nightqueen

He doesn't sound very caring of your needs. Are you sure he's the one you want to be with?

My thoughts exactly!

What are the ages if you don't mind me asking. Are you guys really teenagers?

confused_cutie=] · 05-13-2009, 07:19 PM

dont feel bad;
ur not the only one that has a non-sensual bf........i do all that i can 2 please him but as soon as he's done....he's done
its always the same....kissing,blowjob,sex,and leave

04-22-2009, 06:44 AM	#1
MissSweets18 Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 15	Maybe i'm being selfish but.. Well me and by boyfriend have been sexually active for about..2-3 months now. well anyways, i have no problem getting him hard or anything but i mean.. we really never seem to have much fun, i mean we've never done it in any type of romantic type of way its always the lets just get down to buisness kind of thing, its like the second he gets in the mood we are already doing it... for some reason i'm just looking for more in our sexual relationship i'm just not sure what.. and what i should say to him about it. theres like nothing special about it or anything, its just like a routine or something. Now problem two. Well when we actually get to doing it i mean, it honestly takes him less than a minute to cum usually, i mean once in a while he can go longer, and its great... but i mean i rarely get much pleasure out of it... and he doesn't like doing things orally cause he says its too akward.. and he does use his finger once in a while... but he doesnt do it for very long, so i dont get much out of that either.. i think he expects me to go off as fast as he does or something.. i dont know.. is there any ways i can make this better? Cause i honestly think this is the guy i want to be with... but i dont want our sex life to always be like this... __________________ I am jealous of anyone who has ever hugged you. Because for that moment they held my entire world.

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04-22-2009, 08:55 AM	#2
ItsASecret Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Canada Posts: 608 Blog Entries: 2	Talk to him about it.

04-22-2009, 10:54 AM	#3
golden_nemesis Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 127	The whole minute sex thing is pretty typical of teenagers. I am assuming you guys are pretty young. Age and experience usually help stretch it out. And I don't know if he has had other partners or if you are his first, but wither way, he won't know he's doing anything wrong unless you tell him so. Then again, don't tell him he's doing it wrong in so many words. This horse you-know-what about oral being awkward is probably just to mask nervousness or inexperience. Ask him to give it a try, tell him you'll be his oral guinea pig. Masturbate in front of him, show him what you like. And during sex and foreplay, straight-up ask for what you want. "Put your finger in my (fill in blank)", "Stroke/suck my (fill in blank)", "Go slower/faster/deeper/shallower". Most guys will appreciate the directions. During sex, you could also try being in charge, getting on top, and taking it really, really slowly, and if you see him start to come close, stop moving, just tell him to focus on the feeling of being inside of you, without the movement. Slowing things down should help, as well as trying to focus him on some good foreplay. Also, just had to respond to your comment of it not being romantic. Guys just tend to be less romantic than girls. If you want it to be romantic, make it romantic. Make a home-cooked meal, buy fresh flowers, put on some pretty clothes, light some candles and play sensual music. If he has any brains at all he will respond to this, and may even like it. It would probably put a whole new spin on things. Just keep in mind that to see results, you need to take initiative.

04-22-2009, 11:16 PM	#5
kms Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Indiana Posts: 267	Agreed, you need to talk to him about it. Being on the other side (aka not entirely experienced and feeling awkward about the whole sex thing), it has really helped immensely to have my bf talk to me about what he needs and him asking me what I like and what I need as well. I'm sure he can tell you're not happy, so it'll help clear the air and open the door for a solution if you just talk to him about it honestly (but nonjudgmentally and understandingly regarding where he's coming from).

05-06-2009, 06:23 PM	#6
nightqueen Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 195	He doesn't sound very caring of your needs. Are you sure he's the one you want to be with?

05-13-2009, 07:19 PM	#8
confused_cutie=] Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 5	dont feel bad; ur not the only one that has a non-sensual bf........i do all that i can 2 please him but as soon as he's done....he's done its always the same....kissing,blowjob,sex,and leave