ON Top or no?

Lrgjake3 · 05-07-2009, 06:05 PM

I am a male dated my gf for a solid 4 years. I am 20, (yes i know i am still young) she is older 21 to be exact. IM not sure what to do our sex is amazing it usually lasts about 30 mins more sometimes but oi have a problem holding out on top. I cant go crazy anmd i cant make her go we are so close but i just dont wanna go before she goes and everytime she feels it comeing on i feel it to lol. Its very frustrating with me on bottom i can control more i can bite back ohld on untill she completly releases. The only problem is i feel less of a lover, my question is do women view that as being less of a lover or not a good lover when he can only make u go when your on top? I just want to make her happy and have this go away but ive tried tips and tricks and im hoping its just because im young. Although ive had sex alot with same person 100s of times do u htink its cause im young or could it be something else? Opinions?

**WildChild** · 05-07-2009, 07:44 PM

Every woman and every man is different to some degree. You have to find what works for the two of you. There are a number of books that make suggestions for men to hold off longer and each man finds what works for him. The man in my life will slow things down or even stop briefly. Experiment and see what works and by all means talk to her, let her know what you are doing.

**amaranthine** · 05-07-2009, 10:37 PM

She may have an easier time cumming on top because that position is better for hitting her g-spot. Does she touch herself while you have sex? I suggest that she massage her clit both when she is on top, and when you are as well. Having both things stimulated at the same time might help her orgasm.

It sounds like you have a pretty good stamina, so I wouldn't say you're doing anything wrong. There are ways to experiment and figure out what works best for the both of you. It's not a dent in your character just because you can't bring her to orgasm when you're on top.
Maybe you could give her oral sex if you finish too soon on top? Even after you finish, there are still options if you want to please your girl.

**Swiftus** · 05-08-2009, 11:15 AM

My tricks to lasting:

1. Alphabets (I recite the normal, phonetic, and greek alphabets)
2. Stopping for a minute or two. I know many men hate this thought, but feel free to stop for a few minutes, pull out and go oral on her.
2a/3. Get a clit vibe. Have her hold it and work on herself. She can keep the excitement going for herself even if/when you have to stop.

**Steph33** · 05-10-2009, 05:22 PM

My guy only cums inside me in missionary, can't otherwise, but he can't hold long then either. I get off fastest doggy style and on top enjoy getting him in the "right" position and getting off. He likes the vew with me on top and wants it every time during sex. Trust me, it doesn't make you less. Effort at doing whatever is needed for her to get off will be rewarded in return.

Ms A · 05-12-2009, 01:58 PM

I am just like your girlfriend - me on top is the most stimulating position. It took my partner a year to accept it but now we are both happy because it also lets him to relax and enjoy more:-).
You may also want to try in missionary, just for variety, to have pillow under her hips and her head, this position also stimulates G-spot pretty well; maybe she'll climax.
In any event, learn to be happy that you can make her orgasm in some position; you are both lucky because not many women are able to achieve that.
And definitely, you are not less of a lover, in fact, it's pretty awesome that you care about her needs the way you do.

05-07-2009, 06:05 PM	#1
Lrgjake3 Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 21	ON Top or no? I am a male dated my gf for a solid 4 years. I am 20, (yes i know i am still young) she is older 21 to be exact. IM not sure what to do our sex is amazing it usually lasts about 30 mins more sometimes but oi have a problem holding out on top. I cant go crazy anmd i cant make her go we are so close but i just dont wanna go before she goes and everytime she feels it comeing on i feel it to lol. Its very frustrating with me on bottom i can control more i can bite back ohld on untill she completly releases. The only problem is i feel less of a lover, my question is do women view that as being less of a lover or not a good lover when he can only make u go when your on top? I just want to make her happy and have this go away but ive tried tips and tricks and im hoping its just because im young. Although ive had sex alot with same person 100s of times do u htink its cause im young or could it be something else? Opinions?

05-07-2009, 10:37 PM	#3
amaranthine Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 134	She may have an easier time cumming on top because that position is better for hitting her g-spot. Does she touch herself while you have sex? I suggest that she massage her clit both when she is on top, and when you are as well. Having both things stimulated at the same time might help her orgasm. It sounds like you have a pretty good stamina, so I wouldn't say you're doing anything wrong. There are ways to experiment and figure out what works best for the both of you. It's not a dent in your character just because you can't bring her to orgasm when you're on top. Maybe you could give her oral sex if you finish too soon on top? Even after you finish, there are still options if you want to please your girl. __________________

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05-07-2009, 07:44 PM	#2
WildChild WH Moderator Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Western USA Posts: 8,610 Blog Entries: 6	Every woman and every man is different to some degree. You have to find what works for the two of you. There are a number of books that make suggestions for men to hold off longer and each man finds what works for him. The man in my life will slow things down or even stop briefly. Experiment and see what works and by all means talk to her, let her know what you are doing.

05-08-2009, 11:15 AM	#4
Swiftus Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 131	My tricks to lasting: 1. Alphabets (I recite the normal, phonetic, and greek alphabets) 2. Stopping for a minute or two. I know many men hate this thought, but feel free to stop for a few minutes, pull out and go oral on her. 2a/3. Get a clit vibe. Have her hold it and work on herself. She can keep the excitement going for herself even if/when you have to stop.

05-10-2009, 05:22 PM	#5
Steph33 Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 289	My guy only cums inside me in missionary, can't otherwise, but he can't hold long then either. I get off fastest doggy style and on top enjoy getting him in the "right" position and getting off. He likes the vew with me on top and wants it every time during sex. Trust me, it doesn't make you less. Effort at doing whatever is needed for her to get off will be rewarded in return.

05-12-2009, 01:58 PM	#6
Ms A Junior Member Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 18	I am just like your girlfriend - me on top is the most stimulating position. It took my partner a year to accept it but now we are both happy because it also lets him to relax and enjoy more:-). You may also want to try in missionary, just for variety, to have pillow under her hips and her head, this position also stimulates G-spot pretty well; maybe she'll climax. In any event, learn to be happy that you can make her orgasm in some position; you are both lucky because not many women are able to achieve that. And definitely, you are not less of a lover, in fact, it's pretty awesome that you care about her needs the way you do.