Thread: i need sex immediately

Sometimes the reasong for women not wanting sex is because of bad sex. It can be that way for men too. I think Caroline's advice was very good. If he still turns her down after that then they really need to have a long and honest conversation!

Originally Posted by rcoreyus

It may not be her. I think some men loose interest i sex the same way some women do. There may be nothing magic she can to. If I were the man, all the things you suggest would work - but wouldn't be needed. I already am happy to have sex with my wife whenever she wants.

It is easy for the neglected partner to feel it is somehow their fault. That they are unattractive, or are "bad in bed". The more I read these forums though, I realize that a fair number of people just don't want sex, and there is nothign their partners can do about it.

Seeing I do not know her age nor their situation, this may be true. What is even more important is his age...As a man ages they HAVE to be kept more stimulated...I am assuming that he is young...

The point here is how many times has he been told "not tonight dear" or she has started to get a stomach ache at 5 in the afternoon.....Hey, I know all the ways that a woman can play a game...When you are younger with children, sex can be a chore....You have to work yourself up to enjoying it...Working yourself up may just be going without panties or something sexual...I guess from my limited knowledge of the human female, we are the sex that can have a multitude of excuses and only as the years go by wonder why in the name of God we were like that....Of course, I only speak for me and women who have written me....I have so many letters from women that wish that they had a second chance from affairs that happened because they failed their mate and I certainly am not any expert on anything sexual but only state what other women have told me.....

It is not in the sexual make up of a woman to be aggresive....Unfortunately, she should be because that is the key that can open the door of that place in heaven where a man can take her...So not knowing this she can get into too many bad habits of "not tonight dear" and after a while he just plain gives up and goes to sleep....TC, C

There are 2 approaches:

1 - There is obviously more going on in your relationship (or with him) that we don't know about. There are a ton of possible reasons for why he won't put out - but talking, counseling, etc will all help.

2 - As for the immediate need - if you really want it - take it. Men can very easily get an erection while asleep. Tonight, when he goes to sleep (hopefully on his back), slide in between his legs and start gently rubbing his penis. When it reacts (and it will) slide it out and give it a lick or 2 for lubrication. He should get fully erect, and he may even start to wake up. At this point, slide on top and start to ride him, slowly - sensually. Any man with a working penis will wake up and know what to do. If he wakes up and does anything but keep it going, immediately seek marraige counseling. I got hard just thinking about it - he should enjoy it.

Hmm, nope, sorry - switch the genders, see how it reads. Bad idea.

Originally Posted by metboogie

There are 2 approaches:

2 - As for the immediate need - if you really want it - take it. Men can very easily get an erection while asleep. Tonight, when he goes to sleep (hopefully on his back), slide in between his legs and start gently rubbing his penis. When it reacts (and it will) slide it out and give it a lick or 2 for lubrication. He should get fully erect, and he may even start to wake up. At this point, slide on top and start to ride him, slowly - sensually. Any man with a working penis will wake up and know what to do. If he wakes up and does anything but keep it going, immediately seek marraige counseling. I got hard just thinking about it - he should enjoy it.

I'll add one thing to this thread.

I think the biggest mistake married couples make is assuming that if the sex was good when you were dating, that it will just carry over into the marriage and everything will be fine.

Maybe some couples have that kind of luck, but for me and my wife it took several years to re-invent our sexual relationship as a married couple (to be fair, that several years also included dealing with things like the deaths of our parents). It's like an old cliche out of a sitcom, for the wife to come home from work, and for me to be at the door with that special smile and look in my eyes that says "I still want you" and saying "I've been waiting for you all day" and really mean it.

It's like everything else in a marriage, sooner or later you have to look at it as one more thing that takes work, like raising the kids and keeping the house fixed up. Also a lot of husbands are very (VERY) worried about performance, that if a lovemaking session fizzles out that you will just freak and it will turn into a fight, and then it will be much worse. Sometimes what the guy needs most is just to be reassured that you won't do that, won't turn it into a blaming thing. It's important to understand that our bodies change as we get older, so it's inevitable that the sexual relationship will have to change along with it.

The thing that my wife and I do that works is to just set time aside for each other, even if we're not "in the mood". Sometimes we will just lie in bed and fuss with each other about some mundane thing (which is often because those sessions are the only time we really just TALK to each other), but most of the time we get down to it and things go just fine. I guess it would be fun to be a fly on the wall, to watch a married couple that loves each other, how they will fuss and bicker over some minor thing, then that gives way to having a sense of humor about it, then that gives way to, well, you know the rest...

I've been married for seven years and I still love her more than anything.

Originally Posted by Richard S

I'll add one thing to this thread.

The thing that my wife and I do that works is to just set time aside for each other, even if we're not "in the mood". Sometimes we will just lie in bed and fuss with each other about some mundane thing (which is often because those sessions are the only time we really just TALK to each other), but most of the time we get down to it and things go just fine. I guess it would be fun to be a fly on the wall, to watch a married couple that loves each other, how they will fuss and bicker over some minor thing, then that gives way to having a sense of humor about it, then that gives way to, well, you know the rest...

I've been married for seven years and I still love her more than anything.

Your post just made me remember something that, Laura Corn, the popular author of about 8 best selling books on sex, said to me a few years ago...I had done a post on a Forum she had...It was titled: "If your bed could talk..What would it say". Well knowing me, it was kind of hot....I ended the post by saying my wish in life was to find a way to be able to permanently mount my husband's tongue on my pu*sy" so he could lick me all the time....I mean, what the heck...They don't know me...And if they did, they would know I was serious......Laura shot a note back to me immediately and said: "I would give anything to be a fly in your bedroom to see the two of your making love".....

That little remark a couple of years ago made me feel that we were special....Things like that stick and as you age you think back and smile and " remember it well".....Take care, Caroline