electriclime

So I've noticed with my recent sexcapades and semi-relationships that if I have sex with a guy pretty early on I tend to have less of an emotional attachment to him than I do with the guys I wait much longer to have sex with... or perhaps not have sex with at all. Is this weird?

CHANDLERS WISH

You don't know the person...

I don't think that it's about "sex" earlier or later, rather, how long you have had to get to know the person and lust for that person...

If you meet, get to know a little bit, not much at all and purely have lust for them and only lust, "want to get into bed with them" that is what it is... There isn't any emotions...

If you get to see them on-going from there and get to know them and like them emotions come into it.

Getting to know someone first and liking that person, who they are and lusting after them? Explosive, there are emotions attached.

It's pretty normal.... Not weird at all.

CW

__________________
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told

Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!

Register! | Rules/FAQ | Contact Mod

WildChild

CW is right I think. The better your know each other and the deeper the emotional connection, the better the sex will be. That's probably a combination of things including better communication and understanding. I don't think it's healthy to drag it out forever before you have sex, there's a kind of balance point. How deep do you really want to get emotionally before you determine that you are sexually compatable? On the flip side, the sex could be great but there might not be anything else to build on. A really good relationship needs a strong foundation that doesn't rest on just one support.

Hopeless Dork

I've always been the opposite, that sex makes me feel connected emotionally for some reason and typically after sex (bad or good) my heart would grow a bit fonder than before it. I have recently learned that sex with the emotional connection is so much more satisfying.

I think everyone handles those connections differently based on prior life experiences and current expectations as well as just good old fashioned chemistry. I would think you are pretty normal in your reaction.

Maybe on some subliminal level you respect the guy a little more for being able to control himself or that you don't connect/lose interest in guys that don't meat your sexual expectations perhaps.. and ones that you wait to have sex with you, you alreayd have the emotions so the sex is inherantly better and meeting your needs right off the bat.

__________________
-------------
Defintion of Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." - Albert Einstein