Thread: I am not attracted to my husband!!

Originally Posted by dyunysus

Wives if your reading this and you are missing that spark, and i mean the feeling of being completely loved by your man, and not just his sex object, you should get this and give him a printed copy! (this is for the lady who said she has not had passionate sex in 15 yrs. it is probably not you, it is more than likely him) to often as i realized after reading the e-book and giving it some thought, the simple truth was as soon as we were married i stopped treating her as the love of my life and starting treating her like my live in sextoy. She like you just dealt with it because she loved me.

Thank you for your helpful advice and also for putting into words what I felt for so many years but could not put into words....i was treated like a live in sex toy ...and came to resent it. Too late to help our finished relationship but hopefully others will be able to save theirs.

Originally Posted by nk444

I am 42 years old and have been married for 19 years to a man who is a wonderful husband and father. Shortly after we were married, I lost interest in him sexually. I am not attracted to him and do not desire to have sex with him at all.

For 15 years I have been "in the closet" with this secret and have pretended to want sex over the years, but as the years pass, I am less and less willing to fake my interest and have begun to express to my husband that I have lost interest in sex.

This is only a half truth, however. I have lost interest in sex with my husband but have recently realized that I am able to become sexually aroused by others. I have not and will not have an affair. I only say this to point out that I have not lost interest in sex completely. It just seems to be with my husband.

For a long time, I have felt sorry for him, but recently I began to realize that I am also suffering because I have not had pleasurable, passionate sex in 15 years.

It has come to the point where if I do not regain interest, I will do us both a favor and dissolve the marriage to save him and me further frustration and dissatisfaction.

I'm sure that I am not the only one out there having this problem, so I want to hear from others battling the same issue.

nk444 would you and your husband consider going for sex therapy? I really think at this point, counselling at the least and probably sex therapy may be the only way to save your marriage.

Some men will not consider any kind of counselling...my ex was one of them....but I have heard from other women whose husband's have gone to counselling that it worked for them.

It may be too late, but if you are both willing to try, at least you will know either way that you gave it your all.