thia

I hate sex emotionally and physically the thought makes me cringe. When i do which is pretty much never it feels like i think rape would' I'm peri-menopausal. It's awful especiaaly for my husband. This could be a marriage breaker. I can"t even fake it. I'm so depressed any suggestions out there?

hippiechick2405

Were you always like this or did it just start? I would first contact my physician and find out what my options are. I know that some are embarassed to talk to their doctors about this kind of stuff, but don't be. One of my friends is a family physician in a small town and you should hear the stuff that people tell him and ask him about. I don't think much can shock a doctor.

nk444

thia, i have the same problem and have had it for 15+ years. It began shortly after i married my husband, so i was about 27 years old. for years, i thought it was because i had lost interest in sex, but eventually, i realized it was only that i had lost the attraction to my husband. it isn't hormones or depression or stress, or anything else. it's simple. i don't want to have sex with my husband.

ask yourself this question. think about it and seriously reflect on the answer...

would you be willing to have sex with someone else? maybe someone you know whom you feel attracted to or maybe someone famous who has great sex appeal.

if so, then it's not you. it's that you've lost it for your husband!

CHANDLERS WISH

Taken from your other thread and added here...

I know we all think things are hereditary and allot of them are certainly but cervical cancer is reported that it can be treated if caught right away and a pap smear will always catch it.. I had second degree, it was caught and i have been clear for 6 years, always checking when i have to ( only when i have to). ahh being a woman.

Perhaps your going through allot of emotions, you are told that your pre-menopausal, then you know that means hormone tablets to help you, but you have a fear of cancer as a result and so, the best solution is just to not have sex.

What I think you need to do seriously, is discuss all these fears properly with the Doctor, it's always the un-known that causes the most grief, I think you will find that hormone tablets do not cause cervical cancer, and consequently, annual pap smears still are in order so that you feel safe, would be his/her suggestion.

Is this really what is concerning you?

CW

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blondie80

I agree with CW on this one, I had to have my cervix burnt early this year, it is scary when you dont know what or why it is caused i got reffered to a gyno and asked him because my doctor didnt tell me much and i was too scared to ask.
I think if you can feel in order to not take the tablets that you go without the need for sex and then you may not have problems with your cervix or they wont be as bad. I think if you talk to your doctor about whats going on they will explain alot and it will take the fear of the unkown away.

karent

Talk to your doctor about Vagifem...it works by lubricating the vagina which may help you physically and emotionally.
Have you talked to your doctor about taking anti-depressants? You really should have a long talk with your doctor and let him/her know how you feel. Like Hippiechick said, there isn't much that can shock them and they really do want to help.
Good luck.