I'm Clueless

**XxXCluelessXxX** · 05-27-2009 03:07 AM

hey, so im 18 and actually haven't a breeze when it comes to sex or foreplay or anything. I've never had a real boyfriend until recently because my parents are quite strict, and my parents aren't too comfortable talking about sex, I dont think, so whenever I'm with my boyfriend and it starts to get intimate, I chicken out and get really embarrassed. I haven't told him how clueless I am, and I'd say he would understand if i did tell him, but still its embarrassing.

When we meeting, he always moves my hand down to his penis, and it should be simple, but im afraid I'm doing it wrong . . .

And I would really love to have intercourse with him, but then again that feeling of not having a notion sets in. . . . .

Can anyone enlighten me at all?

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 05-27-2009 04:38 AM

Well, welcome to the site, it's awesome that you have decided to want to work through a few things and get answers.

Before "we" answer "all" a few extra things would help us, like how long have you two been together.

Tell, what wonderful things is he doing to make you so smitten, we can tell you are, haha, congrats but what things does he do, that make you so happy that you are ready, willing and able?

Guess you have also told him your a Virgin? And your upbringing?

Pretty much think that it's normal for a young guy and I suspect your young, want their penises to be touched, but then my darl has he shown you anything that you can see as pleasure as well?

Again, "before we , answer"....

A few extra answers from you from those questions, I think will be of benefit to assist you very much with your enquiry.

CW

**ItsASecret** · 05-27-2009 07:15 AM

I think everyone is clueless at the beginning, I know I sure was and still sort of am. The hardest part is telling yourself to just "do it" whether that be letting your hand touch his body or to do sexual things. Let him know where you stand on things, what you would like to be able to do comfortably, what he would like to be able to do, and let him know that his patience will be sincerely appreciated.

**XxXCluelessXxX** · 05-27-2009 04:47 PM

Thanks.

We've been together about 3-4 months, and no I haven't told him either as its never come up in a conversation or the like. He's never tried to pressurised me into anything tho because he's the type of guy who like things to happen whenever there meant to happen - you can see it in his personality as well.

Another thing is he's 24 so i'm not really too sure what he'd be expecting . . . . . .

Jus i'd like to avoid the awkwardness as much as possible when things are starting to move along . . . .

**sweetheart1** · 05-27-2009 06:19 PM

Just let yourself do what feels natural. And he will guide you to what feels good to him. When I look back when I was a teenager hooking up with my boyfriend it is so different from now with my husband. But boy was it fun. And that's the point have fun but be careful and safe.

**rcoreyus** · 05-27-2009 08:08 PM

A book on sex might help give you some ideas. There is the old "the joy of sex", I'm sure there are lots of newer books. Let him know you don't have any experience so that he doesn't misunderstand.

**WildChild** · 05-27-2009 09:55 PM

Oh my I was the most clueless thing! Right up to and after the first time I had sex - I didn't know what it was we had done! Was younger than you but by all means let him know what the situation is. It could get difficult if you don't, he'll have expectations especially being so much older than you. He just may be delighted to take the extra care to teach you and see your sexuality unfolding and developing.

I'm always recomending books and even have thread on here for books about sex. I'd really recomend The Orgasm Loop, it may be a little ahead of you but gives anatomy and what to do to get it all working for you. Take care, take it slowly and don't do anything you aren't truly ready for or comfortable with. Especially practice safe sex.

**XxXCluelessXxX** · 05-29-2009 05:04 PM

um thanks i'l look that up

but would u have any tips on keeping him interested, coz if i dont know what im doin he could get bored, hes not that type of person tho but jus incase?

like to be honest i have no clue on position, oral or anything

**amaranthine** · 05-29-2009 05:29 PM

My best advice is not to be shy. I'm 19, and I was in your boat about two years ago. You pick up on things and learn pretty quickly through experimenting. Want to keep things interesting? Keep trying things. Do something different.

The first thing you should know about oral sex is to be mindful of your teeth. Move your tongue around a lot, see what he likes, vary degrees of suction, depth, etc.
There really isn't any "wrong" way to give oral, so long as you're not biting his penis or anything like that...

You can probably find an encyclopedia of sex positions online. Just try it on Google. Common ones are missionary, cowgirl, doggie style... you know.

Don't worry about your lack of experience. You'll gain it as you go.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 05-29-2009 06:40 PM

If your boyfriend hasn't asked you for sex and has been with you for 3 - 4 months nor has asked if you are a Virgin, congrats.. Seems like you have a great guy there, hense my question.

I think that you can get answers from the guys here, in as much as "how" they like to be touched, but I think that if you want a serious relationship with this guy, then be honest and communicate that your new at it all, all..

Ask him to tell you what he likes and as others state, then experiment.. That's the fun of it all really.

We are all different, there is no right or wrong, rather what feels good to who.

CW

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