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Thread: he can't cum from oral sex.. what's wrong??

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    Default he can't cum from oral sex.. what's wrong??


    My boyfriend can't cum when I give him head.. I have tried everything I can think of.. he insists it's not me and he's never been able to. He always sounds like and says that he enjoys it, but it's really frustrating! He pleases me all the time and I want to be able to return the favour. He doesn't have a problem cumming any other way. Is this normal? Any advice on what I can do?

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    WH Head Moderator Array WildChild's Avatar
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    Some men just hold back. Maybe early on a woman made a big deal of how nasty cum tastes and he really took it to heart - you may never know. You could get some additional instruction like the book, Going Down, or there are many others and see if there are some new techniques you can try.

    It's funny because there are women who simply cannot stand to have a man cum with oral and others of us who love it. Have you talked with him about it?

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    yeah, we've talked, and he says he wants to and gets close. It's just if that's the case, why cant he? I love giving blow jobs and I have no problem with the taste, and he knows that. It's just all of this knocks my confidence and I'm starting to not enjoy it as much because of it.

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    WH Super Moderator Array x.st.angel.x's Avatar
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    hey this might sound like a strange suggestion but it has never failed on my side lol....before you go down on him have some ice in your mouth...when its dissolved then try go down on him even if u have a cup of hot coffee or tea just before! (i have never heard a man scream like that after those 2 tricks ) :P
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    You may already be doing some of the things I mention here, so just ingore if you are - but these things always seem to help:

    Using your hand in addition to your mouth, making sure to stroke in a rhythm similar to the pace he takes on when approaching orgasm in side you. Keep it steady, licking all over and moving around is fine during the act and appreciated I am sure, but when he is close- try not to change up your move and just keep the pace steady and strokes consistant.

    Try to think of yourself when you are about to come, and you need that kind of rhythmic motion in the same spots if he was to go off and change it kind of throws you off your moment.

    While sucking the head stroke the shaft, even bringing your hand up to the very head you are stroking on. If hes okay with it, massage his 'boy's' gently while stroking and sucking in a constistant rhythmic motion and keeping it there, if he is acting pleased sounds like hes getting close - don't change up or do anything different, just keep keeping it right there for him.

    Like WC said, could be nerves etc. Could be some mental block of not wanting to disrespect you (if he has a notion that such a thing would do that) Some guys, just don't do it with oral sex, or some need A LONG time to do it with oral sex. I am sure he can masturbate to orgasm with in a couple minutes in a pinch, have him show you the way he rubs himself to come so that you can stroke him similiarly while you suck, especially during the grand finale.
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    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array amaranthine's Avatar
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    I find that gently licking or digging into the ball sack with your tongue is a really good way to mix up the sensations a bit. For my boy, it pushes him closer and just makes him anticipate more, so that he really wants to cum.
    I also moan while I go down on him. He says it's a major turn-on.

    Perhaps these could work for you also.

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    WH Head Moderator Array WildChild's Avatar
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    Oh that reminds me, the taint is a real trigger point for many men. You know, that area between his testicles and anus. Pressure, circular movement, he can tell you what does it for him. I have some trouble with the hands doing completely different things sometimes, so I find heel of the hand putting pressure there, fingers cupping testicles, pretty doable. That does up the amps for him.

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    Triple Diamond Member (3,000+ posts & member 3 years+) Array ThexMrs's Avatar
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    Some men just do not orgasm from oral. It could be a mental block as someone else suggested here or it could possibly be physical though you say he "creams" in other ways. Don't take it to heart. If you aren't enjoying it as much he is going to pick up on that and then I would forsee a snowball effect. He won't enjoy it knowing that you don't.

    A guy that I was seeing told me up front not to take it personal if he doesn't get hard while he is going down on me. I was kind of surprised but I said okay. He told me that he just doesn't get hard while going down because he is so focused on what he is doing, pleasing me. One night (our first night together) he went down on me for the length of a movie. It was incredible. When he came up, he was hard as a rock! I was quite happy with that reaction.

    I guess it's just different with everyone and the person that they are with.
    "All the beats and melodies keep realities at bay but what happens when the records done and starts to fade away? Alone within myself again, I try to veil away my pain. The dirty grey surrounding me 'round..... And now I hear no sound."

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    just as someone said some women can't do it right,
    ive only known 3 ladys to ever get me off..funny thing is the gal i been dating for 6 mos now still can't get it down! i tell her and she keeps at it...maybe one day! but she sure love's making out with my .

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    Ugh...that remark about 'some women can't do it right' irritated me. As a man, I can say that every woman has approached blow jobs differently with me, and for a very few, I couldn't seem to come- but it was always good. It seems to me that your BF says he is enjoying what you do, so sure pursue getting him to come, but I bet he enjoys looking down and seeing you passionately loving his manhood more than anything else.

    As a seperate aside though- a few times when all else failed, hmmm how to put it delicately for these boards- I had sex with her mouth. Try letting him do the thrusting, with your mouth being an accomodating warm ring.

    But for me, a woman who enjoys enjoying spending time pleasuring me is the biggie.

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