Problems Climaxing with gf

**goodguy28** · 06-10-2009 11:46 AM

I'm 28, and have been seeing an amazing woman for about 6 or 7 months now, we starting having sex about 2 months ago, and everything seems great, except for the fact that I seem to be having trouble climaxing with her.

She's incredible in just about every way, loves sex, is very willing to try new things, talk dirty, etc, but for some reason, out of the 8 or 10 times we'll go at it in a weekend (we live 1.5 hours apart) I can only finish 2 or 3 times.

I don't know if it bothers her, or frustrates her or what, but I know it really bothers me. I'm not in the best shape, not overweight or anything, but I am under a ton of stress with work and the current economy (blah blah blah), and really want to be able to get the most out of this highly charged sexual side of our relationship, because the rest of the relationship is outstanding(distance excluded of course). It's pretty awful not being able to cum when you really really want to and she's there wanting it for me (inside her, on her, in her mouth, did I hit the jackpot or what?) just as much.

Have any of the women dealt with this with their men, or have any of the men been in a similar situation and how did you all deal with it/improve it?

Thanks!

**WildChild** · 06-10-2009 12:56 PM

How often do you masterbate? At 28 you may be starting to slow down a bit just naturally? Maybe extend the foreplay?

**Hopeless Dork** · 06-10-2009 03:36 PM

8 to 10 times in a weekend? Thats a whole heck of a lot for a 28 year old, not saying you are old but thats averaging out to 4 to 5 times in a day.. with that much going on you're probably not having enough of a build up to get to the orgasm. Instead of quanity why not shoot for 1 or 2 a day that you really take your time with each other, so much foreplay til your about to burst then go for the intercourse and you will probably have a higher ration of achieving an orgasm with her.

**there4u** · 06-10-2009 04:21 PM

Originally Posted by goodguy28

I know it really bothers me.

It's pretty awful not being able to cum when you really really want to and she's there wanting it for me (inside her, on her, in her mouth, did I hit the jackpot or what?) just as much.

Thanks!

do you feel pressured to perform?

probably you are more focused on trying to climax rather than actually enjoying the sex itself.

it happened to my boyfriend when we first started out, he is 27, it would take him a long time to climax, sometimes he would just exhaust himself physically and still would not be able to climax but things started getting better once we got in tune with each other.

sometimes when i saw he was having trouble i would just take him out of myself and give him a blowjob and than back in. that helped.

i still think that he was pressured to perform since we were new to each other hence the problem.

relax during sex, talk more, dont be too focused on climaxing, instead look at how her hair falls on her face, or just how sexy her back looks when she is in that position, or how she moans when you go deep, in other words concentrate on things that turns you on and you feel the surge.

i hope this helps.

**goodguy28** · 06-10-2009 04:52 PM

I definitely feel pressure to perform with her and always have, although I'm slowly getting over that. Sometimes because I can't climax, we end up going at it for a 30 or 45 mins, its generally pretty intense and physically demanding (holding her off the ground against the wall, etc) and I do get so worn out.

She has started pulling me out and giving me a blowjob, which does help, but when its just after lunch, we walk in the door, we've already had sex 2 or 3 times that day, and she wants round 4, which starts on the kitchen counter, then moves to the back of the door (with me holding her up) then finally onto the couch in like 2 or 3 positions, I'm completley worn out! This girl is a machine!! Other than excercising more, I don't know what else to do! LOL We were both commenting on how exhausted our legs felt at the end of the last weekend we were together. But even when it was in the bed/on the couch and so many times I still didn't cum every time.

I suppose most of this will improve as we get more in tune with each other sexually?

**WildChild** · 06-10-2009 05:43 PM

AH the good old days of youth. Lucky if I get twice a week but that's better that the years I spent getting nothing at all....

**there4u** · 06-10-2009 06:24 PM

probably you should try girl on top positions more so that you can get to relax while she does the "work" or try positions that are not so physically demanding like sideways doggy style on bed.

there is nothing wrong with you. climaxing 3 times already and the 4th time wouldnt be a huge one if there is any. even if you do climax there would just be few drops. as far as i have seen.

the fourth time just try to bring her to orgasm by doing few thrusts and than lay her on couch and finger her until she cries out or vice versa. you dont have to use your member all the time to please a woman esp when you get so worn out. all concentrate on oral sex if you are comfortable.

**Inmydreams** · 06-10-2009 11:14 PM

"we end up going at it for a 30 or 45 mins, its generally pretty intense and physically demanding (holding her off the ground against the wall, etc) " - so when are you going to be available? Just kidding. You sound like a great guy really trying to please your woman unlike so many childish ones out there. I think its phenomenal that you have such a passionate relationship. Maybe you should switch it up with some toys for her. You could that for a while and that way your member gets some time to rest a bit while still having great sex.

**Inmydreams** · 06-10-2009 11:16 PM

Btw, most guys don't do it nearly as long as you described. They just roll over after the first one and fall asleep. So, you're doing alot better than average. I think it is exhausting for guys to go 2 to 3 times in a day, let alone more than that.

**goodguy28** · 06-11-2009 09:25 AM

Hahaha! Hopefully I won't be available again Inmydreams! Well, I know that 4 years ago, I had just broken up with the girl I dated for most of college (off and on) ended up being together for about 7 years, and the first time I had a one night stand after that, it lasted two days, and I came almost every time - close to 7 or 8 - in two days. So I think that was really my concern, and the pressure to perform because I think I've really got a keeper this time is probably what's bothering me the most. Want to make sure I keep her satisfied. So far she seems pretty happy with me though!

As far as oral, she likes to give it, but not really recieve it, she prefers a penis. I on the other hand like it both ways. And I LOVE giving women oral - huge turn on for me. Any ideas there?