Desperate - not enough Sex Help! - Page 3

trendywendy · 06-29-2009, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by M&Ms

Someone else wouldn't be forcing you to change yourself if you were the one who expected them to change in the first place. Unless the individual did a complete reversal in their behavior during the relationship, causing you to perceive a disappointing difference in them, how do you expect them to work around your needs? If the individual DID do a complete reversal (for example, in the situation of the starter of this thread: if the bf had been very sexually active with her in the beginning of the relationship and then all of a sudden quit), then yes, I definitely agree with you on the requirement for a compromise. When I posted my response, the thread starter hadn't indicated whether her partner had frequent sex with her near the beginning of their relationship.

Hi, in answer to your questions, we have been together 8 years before married. My hubby likes intercourse, likes sex, just seems to be tired all the time, but its not about changing someone, there are two people in a marriage, and its about trying to reach a compromise, not trying to change either partner. We did have sex more in the earlier years, but doesnt everyone? I am not asking for the world, my needs are simple, intamacy and sex sometimes, once a week is surely not too much to ask of a husband, as a wife I do all usual things, and I also pay all the bills, run a business, and have brought up 2 children (who have now left the nest) so its just us. Making love with my hubby is very intense, and fantastic, so thats why I guess I want it more than him!

bubbles123 · 06-29-2009, 07:14 PM

I don't understand men are supposed to be the animals always after sex, it makes me feel like being the one always wanting sex and getting turned down

**WildChild** · 06-29-2009, 07:29 PM

Ah but we have made the ground breaking discovery here that most men only seem oto want sex if they can't have it. If they have a horny willing woman, about 98% of them seem to just lose interest. It was all a big farse! It seems they have just as many sexual hang ups as women!

**MrPleazr** · 06-29-2009, 10:57 PM

I have also been through times, on occasion, where I just wasn't that interested in sex. It had nothing to do with my wife or being attracted to her. For some reason, I just wasn't in the mood.

First, you have to figure out a way to talk about it, if you can't, the problem will never get resolved. I told my wife that when those time arise that she is in the mood and I don't seem to be, it's up to her to help get me in the mood. She still doesn't get as aggressive about it as I wish, but just telling me she's horny, doesn't really do it for me. But, catch me getting out of the shower, or in the shower, and surprise me with a spontanious BJ, that will get me in the mood super quick. Walk around the house in the nude, (God, I can't wait till we're empty nesters, have mercy on the neighbors) or in a nightgown and show him you don't have anything on underneath...that'll do it... or LET him catch you masturbating and ask him for help.....there is all kinds of things to do, you just have to keep trying. Men are visual, so telling him your in the mood isn't going to get you anywhere...SHOW him your in the mood, that will help.....Be spontanious... Men, believe it or not, cannot read minds, or even pick up on subtle hints....

You have to change it up a little....take control and do something different....other than that, maybe it's medical. Some blood pressure meds, diet and being overweight will affect his sex drive..

I've never been a 3 times a day type of guy, more like twice a week, but then again she gets off about 5 times to my 1...so, I don't know how the math works out...

**M&Ms** · 06-30-2009, 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WildChild

Ah but we have made the ground breaking discovery here that most men only seem oto want sex if they can't have it. If they have a horny willing woman, about 98% of them seem to just lose interest. It was all a big farse! It seems they have just as many sexual hang ups as women!

Touche!

**stressed** · 06-30-2009, 07:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WildChild

Ah but we have made the ground breaking discovery here that most men only seem oto want sex if they can't have it. If they have a horny willing woman, about 98% of them seem to just lose interest. It was all a big farse! It seems they have just as many sexual hang ups as women!

I like this a lot, it's so true! The more a woman (that they can have) wants them, the more scared they become and turn them down. The more a woman they cannot have wants them, the more they want her! This 'men are animals' saying is such a myth.

**starjoy08** · 06-30-2009, 07:54 PM

OK, I am not a sex expert but my husband finally told me one day that not all men love alot of sex. I had got it into my head that men love sex and that it all they think about. So to me that meant "lets have sex alot" because I love it too. Just talking with him helped me understand more about men. He love sex and he loves it with me. But hates the same kind of sex all the time. So we change it up sometimes, and that helps. I use to think that men had to make the first move and do everything in sex but now I see more and understand that I can start thing and he really likes it. There has been a few times where I have been rejected but then I just remind myself how many times I have said no!!
My husband has been away for two month and we talked about it but I like toys while he is away. We are women and should be treated equal, in all aspects!!! You like sex! Be proud of that!!!!!

**Swiftus** · 07-01-2009, 10:35 AM

For me it comes and goes in waves. Some times I want it non stop. Other times I am really not as gung ho.

**WildChild** · 07-01-2009, 11:32 AM

Like the tides, we all ebb and flow. The secret seems to be in getting yours to match.

**Swiftus** · 07-01-2009, 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WildChild

Like the tides, we all ebb and flow. The secret seems to be in getting yours to match.

Its hard to match me and my wife. I am like the north pacific and my wife is like a puddle on a windless day.

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06-29-2009, 07:14 PM	#22
bubbles123 Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 1	I don't understand men are supposed to be the animals always after sex, it makes me feel like being the one always wanting sex and getting turned down

06-29-2009, 07:29 PM	#23
WildChild Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Western USA Posts: 6,223 Blog Entries: 5	Ah but we have made the ground breaking discovery here that most men only seem oto want sex if they can't have it. If they have a horny willing woman, about 98% of them seem to just lose interest. It was all a big farse! It seems they have just as many sexual hang ups as women!

06-29-2009, 10:57 PM	#24
MrPleazr VIP Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: USA Posts: 60	I have also been through times, on occasion, where I just wasn't that interested in sex. It had nothing to do with my wife or being attracted to her. For some reason, I just wasn't in the mood. First, you have to figure out a way to talk about it, if you can't, the problem will never get resolved. I told my wife that when those time arise that she is in the mood and I don't seem to be, it's up to her to help get me in the mood. She still doesn't get as aggressive about it as I wish, but just telling me she's horny, doesn't really do it for me. But, catch me getting out of the shower, or in the shower, and surprise me with a spontanious BJ, that will get me in the mood super quick. Walk around the house in the nude, (God, I can't wait till we're empty nesters, have mercy on the neighbors) or in a nightgown and show him you don't have anything on underneath...that'll do it... or LET him catch you masturbating and ask him for help.....there is all kinds of things to do, you just have to keep trying. Men are visual, so telling him your in the mood isn't going to get you anywhere...SHOW him your in the mood, that will help.....Be spontanious... Men, believe it or not, cannot read minds, or even pick up on subtle hints.... You have to change it up a little....take control and do something different....other than that, maybe it's medical. Some blood pressure meds, diet and being overweight will affect his sex drive.. I've never been a 3 times a day type of guy, more like twice a week, but then again she gets off about 5 times to my 1...so, I don't know how the math works out...

06-30-2009, 07:54 PM	#27
starjoy08 VIP Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: In the Alabama area Posts: 60 Blog Entries: 1	OK, I am not a sex expert but my husband finally told me one day that not all men love alot of sex. I had got it into my head that men love sex and that it all they think about. So to me that meant "lets have sex alot" because I love it too. Just talking with him helped me understand more about men. He love sex and he loves it with me. But hates the same kind of sex all the time. So we change it up sometimes, and that helps. I use to think that men had to make the first move and do everything in sex but now I see more and understand that I can start thing and he really likes it. There has been a few times where I have been rejected but then I just remind myself how many times I have said no!! My husband has been away for two month and we talked about it but I like toys while he is away. We are women and should be treated equal, in all aspects!!! You like sex! Be proud of that!!!!!

07-01-2009, 10:35 AM	#28
Swiftus Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 110	For me it comes and goes in waves. Some times I want it non stop. Other times I am really not as gung ho.

07-01-2009, 11:32 AM	#29
WildChild Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Western USA Posts: 6,223 Blog Entries: 5	Like the tides, we all ebb and flow. The secret seems to be in getting yours to match.