Desperate - not enough Sex Help! - Page 4

elise · 07-01-2009, 08:45 PM

Wow, i know exactly what you are going through. I have been married 17 years and in the last 7 have been experiencing the same thing. We love each other have a great family but when it comes to sex it sucks!!! No initiating from him, no sex etc. Do you have small children?? YOu mentioned seeking sex outside your marriage, have u spoken to him about this?? What was his response? I have a lover on the side who i see 2times a month and spend about 5-6 hours with him each time. And, yes we are having sex all that time. My husband is aware of it and although he doesn't care for it he does not tell me not to go. I have become attached to my lover in a physical way, as he is very affectionate, loving, touchy feeling sort of guy. That is not good. It causes me to feel like im not in love with my hubby and to be honest i do not really want to have sex with my husband as i think the sex will not be the same. I know the sex is not the same. However, i do love my husband and our life so im staying. If you do decidee to get alover be sure you are just getting sex and nothing else, no emailing, texting, cuddling etc. that is not a good thing. It complicates things somewhat. However, ido believe that sex is VERY important to a womans self-esteem and if your husband agrees then go for wtih your eyes WIDE open. I never imagines id meet a man who knows how to satisfy me over and over again. IT can cause you to doubt your marriage and feelings, be sure to be very clear with your self before doing this. Hope this is helpful, good luck.

trendywendy · 07-02-2009, 07:39 AM

Hi Elise

Thanks for that reply, very helpful.

I have two grown up children, who have left the nest. My hubby is my second hubby, my first died when the kids were 4 and 6, (he was their father) so I know what good and loving sex is. My first hubby was very sexually active, but back then when the kids were younger, I didnt feel the need so much. But now, im in my fourtys, and god, do I need it. I have not got a lover, but have thought about this having a booty friend. Have even asked my hubby about it, but he said he wouldnt like it, but never got any further than that. He is hard work sometimes!
After putting this message on, things came to ahead, 2 weeks ago, I started sleeping in the other bedroom, first night he never noticed, second night he came in annoyed. I said there was no point in me being in the same bed, and he stormed off. Next night, we sat and talked, and he realised I was upset and serious. The last two weeks have improved, I doubt it will last, but for the moment he is making an effort, and I LOVE it!

**WildChild** · 07-02-2009, 09:34 AM

Keep up the positive reinforcement! It could be a lasting change.

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07-01-2009, 08:45 PM	#31
elise Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Canada Posts: 28	Wow, i know exactly what you are going through. I have been married 17 years and in the last 7 have been experiencing the same thing. We love each other have a great family but when it comes to sex it sucks!!! No initiating from him, no sex etc. Do you have small children?? YOu mentioned seeking sex outside your marriage, have u spoken to him about this?? What was his response? I have a lover on the side who i see 2times a month and spend about 5-6 hours with him each time. And, yes we are having sex all that time. My husband is aware of it and although he doesn't care for it he does not tell me not to go. I have become attached to my lover in a physical way, as he is very affectionate, loving, touchy feeling sort of guy. That is not good. It causes me to feel like im not in love with my hubby and to be honest i do not really want to have sex with my husband as i think the sex will not be the same. I know the sex is not the same. However, i do love my husband and our life so im staying. If you do decidee to get alover be sure you are just getting sex and nothing else, no emailing, texting, cuddling etc. that is not a good thing. It complicates things somewhat. However, ido believe that sex is VERY important to a womans self-esteem and if your husband agrees then go for wtih your eyes WIDE open. I never imagines id meet a man who knows how to satisfy me over and over again. IT can cause you to doubt your marriage and feelings, be sure to be very clear with your self before doing this. Hope this is helpful, good luck.

07-02-2009, 07:39 AM	#32
trendywendy Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 11	Hi Elise Thanks for that reply, very helpful. I have two grown up children, who have left the nest. My hubby is my second hubby, my first died when the kids were 4 and 6, (he was their father) so I know what good and loving sex is. My first hubby was very sexually active, but back then when the kids were younger, I didnt feel the need so much. But now, im in my fourtys, and god, do I need it. I have not got a lover, but have thought about this having a booty friend. Have even asked my hubby about it, but he said he wouldnt like it, but never got any further than that. He is hard work sometimes! After putting this message on, things came to ahead, 2 weeks ago, I started sleeping in the other bedroom, first night he never noticed, second night he came in annoyed. I said there was no point in me being in the same bed, and he stormed off. Next night, we sat and talked, and he realised I was upset and serious. The last two weeks have improved, I doubt it will last, but for the moment he is making an effort, and I LOVE it!

07-02-2009, 09:34 AM	#33
WildChild Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Western USA Posts: 6,223 Blog Entries: 5	Keep up the positive reinforcement! It could be a lasting change.