Am I enough for him or what? I need some answers here,,,,HELP

**stressed** · 07-01-2009 02:49 PM

Originally Posted by Swiftus

For me, I usually use it as a way to put me to sleep or wake me up. Just depends on the time of day. Its a great way to start off your day and a nice way to force yourself to sleep at night. (For a man, that is)

Although it's not just a 'man's thing', I am the same as I'm sure many other women are. This is why I think men and women have a hard time understanding each other some times, because they tend to think that "all men are like this and all women are like that, they are different and they will never understand each other so I'll just keep doing my thing as my partner will never get it and I can use my gender as an excuse for it". The best is to be open minded about it.

**WildChild** · 07-01-2009 06:30 PM

Originally Posted by Swiftus

You ladies really need to listen to the Chris Rock bit about how a woman needs to be the center of a man's pleasure.

It is a funny bit and he describes what you are feeling to a T.

The thought of my wife rubbing one out makes me chub up. The thought of your hubby working one out makes you feel like you cant please him.

Maybe it'sthe men who need to listen to it?
After years of being treated like an afterthought a woman can get kind of disconnected from her own needs. Some of you lovely gentlemen who spend time here may not understand how many women deal with men who repeatedly reject them sexually. They want it when and how they want and what the woman in their lives wants, needs or would enjoy, isn't even second on the list. Everyone loses. A fully turned on woman can simply blow a man's doors off sexually. But most, like myself, need to feel accepted, loved and free to express themselves sexually to really turn it up to full. It isn't something that can happen with just any man. The level of hurt when we love and are rejected is intense and can really dampen, if not shut down, a woman sexually.

**starjoy08** · 07-01-2009 07:33 PM

Being included is really important for me too. My husband and I have been living apart for two months and we do it over the internet with Skpe! It is a fun new thing but I would be hurt if he did it without me. He knows that too. Maybe you should do it without him and see how he feels. Maybe that is what you need as well. You never know!! JUst listen to your feelings. Trust yourself.

**blondie80** · 07-01-2009 11:02 PM

You are right wild child a woman needs to feel accepted and loved to let go of her sexual self and enjoy completely and when you get rejected or feel that you aren't enough it makes it harder to express yourself in that way and a woman can very easily just come to the point of shut down. A guy sees it if he isn't in the mood for sex or doesn't want it its ok and a woman should deal with it yet a guy gets turned down and his ego gets shot to flames, do men really not realise how much this sort of stuff can hurt us and our confidence and everything else as well?
This doesn't really have a great deal to do with the post sorry was just agreeing with wild child lol.
Maybe with the original poster its more of a feeling of being left out? Maybe not so much that he is masturbating or that he is doing it without you that you aren't involved, do you think you guys could work out something to involve you or something to sort out this problem so you dont feel so angry about it all? Other than talking to him and understanding why you are angry about this which may take a while to figure out, then you can surely come to a solution?

**Hopeless Dork** · 07-01-2009 11:34 PM

I am sure men prefer sex to masturbation by and large but when you think about it, there is a lot of effort that goes into sex. If they are suddenly horny and you are doing the dishes, they know they are going to have to put in work, romance you ... heat you up, make sure you are pleased, hold you after.. all of those things being well worth it of course. But I can see why sometimes they are like eh, let me take 2 minutes alone and then go back to the football game.

If they are doing that all the time, and not taking the time to meet your needs then there is a problem. If they are just doing it here and there when you are busy or not in the mood then I don't see why it should be anything that makes you feel like you aren't pleasing him.

My boyfriend pleases me in ways I've never experienced and the orgasms he gives me are far better than masturbation... but I do still masturbate. That doesn't make me want him less. If he were to come and offer a hand while I was doing that, oh I'd prefer it to doing it alone, for sure.

When you know he is doing it, have you ever thought to step in and help finish pleasing him?

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