pulling out.... - Page 2

**OhThereYouAre** · 06-30-2009, 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iseulda

Guys, guys - she's on the pill.

It's not like pulling out is the only thing between her ovaries and the swimmers. Be fair on the guy.

I had the pill as my only form of contraception for years, on and off, and never even had a scare when I was on it.

Agreed....however...there is only one way to get pregnant.

If she doesn't want him ejaculating in her...he should listen.

Just another case of an irresponsible person choosing pleasure over good sense.

**hello_pitty** · 06-30-2009, 11:41 AM

If you're so worried about it, and he likes keeping it in...make him wear a condom. You have every right to say what goes on with your body, not him.

**SFDad** · 06-30-2009, 12:42 PM

"Just another case of an irresponsible person choosing pleasure over good sense"

If this applies- it applies to both persons. Really- pulling out is such an ineffective method of birth control, that if that is the real concern, then the real responsible thing to do would be to not have any vaginal intercourse at all.

**WildChild** · 06-30-2009, 01:27 PM

Oh Dear, the pill has been around for what? close to 50 years? Used correctly it is hightly effective. Why take it if you don't trust it? The only thing that is 100% effective is celebacy.
Really many of the sex ed programs have been deplorable with this. They do so want to just tell everyone it bite their finger nails and never have sex that they make everything sound scary and ineffective. We've dealt with this topic before.

The pill will do the job IF you take it as prescribed!

**golden_nemesis** · 06-30-2009, 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WildChild

Oh Dear, the pill has been around for what? close to 50 years? Used correctly it is hightly effective. Why take it if you don't trust it? The only thing that is 100% effective is celebacy.
Really many of the sex ed programs have been deplorable with this. They do so want to just tell everyone it bite their finger nails and never have sex that they make everything sound scary and ineffective. We've dealt with this topic before.

The pill will do the job IF you take it as prescribed!

I agree with WC. Aside from tubal ligation or IUDs, neither of which is a viable option at your age, BC pills/patches/rings are the most reliable method, and using a less effective method in addition does very little to improve your overall odds.

If you are sufficiently terrified of dealing with an unplanned pregnancy through abortion, adoption, or raising it yourself that you don't think greater than 99% efficacy is enough, you really shouldn't be having vaginal intercourse. Do lots of manual stimulation, oral sex for both, and anal sex if you feel like being adventurous.

If you are on the birth control pill and taking it correctly, he is not unreasonable in asking to be able to cum inside of you. You have to learn to trust yourself to be mature enough to remember your pills every day, and learn to trust those hormones. They are powerful little buggers!

It might be a good idea to sit down with him and have a chat about the big bad what if question. Do you agree on what you would do if you became pregnant? Being able to have a rational discussion about it without reverting to knee-jerk fear would be helpful for both of you.

One other idea you could employ if you really want that extra layer of protection is a spermicidal foam or film or gel, something of that ilk. It would be much more effective than pulling out, and would let him cum inside of you. You could also see your doctor and discuss the use of a diaphragm or cervical cap. There are a lot of options out there that would make both of you happy, I think. Unless you are secretly just really wigged out by the thought of semen inside of you, in which case you still might not be happy.

**hippiechick2405** · 06-30-2009, 04:01 PM

I understand that it is your body and you decide what happens with it, but you have been with him for a few years, so I think he has a bit of a say with this subject also. Someone mentioned using some spermicidal foams or jellies. That is an excellent idea if you are honestly that worried. But, you can't get much better than 99% if you are taking it daily and on time. I got pregnant with my first son while on the pill, but I also had been "doubling up" every so often and was completely incapable of remembering to take them at the same time everyday.

**stressed** · 06-30-2009, 07:02 PM

We've been using the 'pull out' method for about a year without getting pregnant. It is risky and men always complain about it. Now I'm on the pill for the 3rd time (have stopped it a couple of times in the past) and we don't have any problems. All in all I've used the pill for 3 years in my life without any unexpected pregnancies. I know a couple that conceived while on the pill, but she wasn't taking the pill every day at the same time. It's all about taking it at the exact same time and not taking antibiotics or other medicine. Just set a daily alarm on your phone and you won't have to worry about it. The only thing is that if you choose to continue without the 'pull out' method then he also has to respect your part of it and let you enjoy sex as much as he does (i.e. he shouldn't just worry about him having an orgasm now that he doesn't have to pull out; he should also think about you).

**ThexMrs** · 06-30-2009, 07:25 PM

As some have pointed out it is your body and as some others have pointed out, you have been with him for a few years so he should have some say... I agree with both of these statements however... He should try to think about the situation as a whole and not just his gratification because that is the ONLY thing he is thinking about.

This may scare him and if so, good but just nonchalantly ask him if he is ready to have a child. Maybe throw in some little facts about babies like how they cry A LOT, go in their pants, and the fact that the next 18 years of your life are going to be about the baby and not yourselves. Granted, with the pill the chance is low but it does happen. Maybe that will wake him up some.

nubianqueen · 06-30-2009, 08:25 PM

hmmm..............i hear everything that y'all are saying, and i definately appreciate the info!!! i totally forgot about the spermicide foams and jellies out there! i guess i'm so concerned about him ejaculating inside me while on the pill cuz i DO take my pill at ABOUT the same time everyday. some days though i may take it 1 to 2 hours later than usual. could that affect the pill's effectiveness or does it have to be at THE EXACT SAME TIME everyday??

**golden_nemesis** · 06-30-2009, 08:32 PM

If it is plus or minus a couple of hours from your usual time, you should be fine. You just don't want to be taking it at night if you were supposed to take it in the morning. Try experimenting with times that work best for you. I tried taking it at night, but I always seemed to be busy and would be bad about forgetting to take it. Luckily at the time I was not sexually active. I did mornings for a while, but that didn't last because on weekends I like to sleep in. So I ended up taking it at 1 o'clock in the afternoon. Weird right? Well, I have been able to take my pill consistently then. You just have to figure out what works for you.

06-30-2009, 11:41 AM	#12
hello_pitty Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Saskatchewan, Canada Posts: 229	If you're so worried about it, and he likes keeping it in...make him wear a condom. You have every right to say what goes on with your body, not him. __________________ "I might be a little young, but honey I ain't naive" "If it ain't an APBT, it's just a dog"

06-30-2009, 07:25 PM	#18
ThexMrs Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Oregon. Posts: 2,726 Blog Entries: 13	As some have pointed out it is your body and as some others have pointed out, you have been with him for a few years so he should have some say... I agree with both of these statements however... He should try to think about the situation as a whole and not just his gratification because that is the ONLY thing he is thinking about. This may scare him and if so, good but just nonchalantly ask him if he is ready to have a child. Maybe throw in some little facts about babies like how they cry A LOT, go in their pants, and the fact that the next 18 years of your life are going to be about the baby and not yourselves. Granted, with the pill the chance is low but it does happen. Maybe that will wake him up some. __________________ "I carry your heart with me, I carry it in my heart, I am never without it, anywhere I go, you go, my dear, And whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling."

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06-30-2009, 12:42 PM	#13
SFDad VIP Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 34	"Just another case of an irresponsible person choosing pleasure over good sense" If this applies- it applies to both persons. Really- pulling out is such an ineffective method of birth control, that if that is the real concern, then the real responsible thing to do would be to not have any vaginal intercourse at all.

06-30-2009, 01:27 PM	#14
WildChild Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Western USA Posts: 6,223 Blog Entries: 5	Oh Dear, the pill has been around for what? close to 50 years? Used correctly it is hightly effective. Why take it if you don't trust it? The only thing that is 100% effective is celebacy. Really many of the sex ed programs have been deplorable with this. They do so want to just tell everyone it bite their finger nails and never have sex that they make everything sound scary and ineffective. We've dealt with this topic before. The pill will do the job IF you take it as prescribed!

06-30-2009, 04:01 PM	#16
hippiechick2405 VIP Member Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 37	I understand that it is your body and you decide what happens with it, but you have been with him for a few years, so I think he has a bit of a say with this subject also. Someone mentioned using some spermicidal foams or jellies. That is an excellent idea if you are honestly that worried. But, you can't get much better than 99% if you are taking it daily and on time. I got pregnant with my first son while on the pill, but I also had been "doubling up" every so often and was completely incapable of remembering to take them at the same time everyday.

06-30-2009, 07:02 PM	#17
stressed Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Europe Posts: 147	We've been using the 'pull out' method for about a year without getting pregnant. It is risky and men always complain about it. Now I'm on the pill for the 3rd time (have stopped it a couple of times in the past) and we don't have any problems. All in all I've used the pill for 3 years in my life without any unexpected pregnancies. I know a couple that conceived while on the pill, but she wasn't taking the pill every day at the same time. It's all about taking it at the exact same time and not taking antibiotics or other medicine. Just set a daily alarm on your phone and you won't have to worry about it. The only thing is that if you choose to continue without the 'pull out' method then he also has to respect your part of it and let you enjoy sex as much as he does (i.e. he shouldn't just worry about him having an orgasm now that he doesn't have to pull out; he should also think about you).

06-30-2009, 08:25 PM	#19
nubianqueen Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 27	hmmm..............i hear everything that y'all are saying, and i definately appreciate the info!!! i totally forgot about the spermicide foams and jellies out there! i guess i'm so concerned about him ejaculating inside me while on the pill cuz i DO take my pill at ABOUT the same time everyday. some days though i may take it 1 to 2 hours later than usual. could that affect the pill's effectiveness or does it have to be at THE EXACT SAME TIME everyday??

06-30-2009, 08:32 PM	#20
golden_nemesis Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 127	If it is plus or minus a couple of hours from your usual time, you should be fine. You just don't want to be taking it at night if you were supposed to take it in the morning. Try experimenting with times that work best for you. I tried taking it at night, but I always seemed to be busy and would be bad about forgetting to take it. Luckily at the time I was not sexually active. I did mornings for a while, but that didn't last because on weekends I like to sleep in. So I ended up taking it at 1 o'clock in the afternoon. Weird right? Well, I have been able to take my pill consistently then. You just have to figure out what works for you.