pulling out.... - Page 3

**MrPleazr** · 06-30-2009, 10:15 PM

Sorry I didn't read all the replies, I stopped when I got to the replies that say that HE should have some say..... Are you Freakin' serious? HE should have some say? Heck NO he doesn't have a say!!! Is HE gonna help carry that baby? Is he gonna have to deal with it for 9 months, not to mention 18+yrs? No, that's BS.... If your not comfortable with it, then he either pulls (which is dumb) or he puts a rain coat on that baby. Get married, then MAYBE he at least gets to have some input.

I'm surprised how many woman on this board are mis-informed. BC pills have been the most successful form of BC, primarily due to the fact that the woman is responsible for taking them, but their effectiveness will vary from person to person. The CAN be 99% effective, but not in every woman. My son was conceived while my wife was CORRECTLY taking BC. A gentleman who works for me has two children conceived the same way. I'm certain his wife was taking them as prescribed when considering that she DID NOT want children at all...FYI, he just got snipped!!!

Not to mention, no drug is without it's side affects, BC included. My wife is still dealing with those side affects....

**MrPleazr** · 06-30-2009, 10:32 PM

I didn't really mean that the way it reads....mis-informed.... I meant that I'm surprised to read so many posts singing the praises of BC pills... Maybe it's just because I've seen the down side of them...

**Iseulda** · 07-01-2009, 01:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nubianqueen

hmmm..............i hear everything that y'all are saying, and i definately appreciate the info!!! i totally forgot about the spermicide foams and jellies out there! i guess i'm so concerned about him ejaculating inside me while on the pill cuz i DO take my pill at ABOUT the same time everyday. some days though i may take it 1 to 2 hours later than usual. could that affect the pill's effectiveness or does it have to be at THE EXACT SAME TIME everyday??

That entirely depends what pill you are on. If you are on a combined pill then an hour or two (or even a lot more*) is fine. If you are on a progesterone only pill (aka mini pill or POP) then the time window narrows significantly - doing a quick search the official window appears to be 3 hours but most women I know who have taken it try to keep it with an hour.

But no - 'exactly the same time every day' is not necessary.

**Swiftus** · 07-01-2009, 08:43 AM

The max amount of say any man should have in this is 49% of the vote.

**stressed** · 07-01-2009, 03:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrPleazr

Sorry I didn't read all the replies, I stopped when I got to the replies that say that HE should have some say..... Are you Freakin' serious? HE should have some say? Heck NO he doesn't have a say!!! Is HE gonna help carry that baby? Is he gonna have to deal with it for 9 months, not to mention 18+yrs? No, that's BS.... If your not comfortable with it, then he either pulls (which is dumb) or he puts a rain coat on that baby. Get married, then MAYBE he at least gets to have some input.

I'm surprised how many woman on this board are mis-informed. BC pills have been the most successful form of BC, primarily due to the fact that the woman is responsible for taking them, but their effectiveness will vary from person to person. The CAN be 99% effective, but not in every woman. My son was conceived while my wife was CORRECTLY taking BC. A gentleman who works for me has two children conceived the same way. I'm certain his wife was taking them as prescribed when considering that she DID NOT want children at all...FYI, he just got snipped!!!

Not to mention, no drug is without it's side affects, BC included. My wife is still dealing with those side affects....

Well, I used to believe that in these situations men shouldn't have a say either, but now I believe that they deserve 50% of it. Of course he's not going to be the one carrying the baby, but he was chosen by her and they are in a relationship. If she doesn't want a child with him, even by accident, and if having one would be a huge disaster then she shouldn't be having sex with him at all. If he would leave her in case she got pregnant then she shouldn't be with this man at all, that would be an irresponsible kind of man who doesn't love her.

When it comes to birth control it's a decision that has to be taken by both, not just one. A lot depends on the quality and the seriousness of the relationship. When it comes to medicine people react differently, some experience side effects some don't, that's why it's very important to discuss it all with a doctor before choosing.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 07-01-2009, 06:36 PM

mmm...

Go back and talk to your Doctor pertaining to fertility, your body, cycles, when the least time you can get pregnant, when the best time you can get pregnant, the strength of the particular pill you are taking and it's efficiency.

As you can tell, there's mixed thoughts feelings here based on their personal experiences and based on their knowledge of the pill as a woman...

I always think that any "fear factor" is based on not enough knowledge and it's evident that you are in fear of getting pregnant and that you don't have enough knowledge. I think if you were to establish all of this your fear would subside more.

I also think, that a valid point is being missed.

You obviously allowed him to ejaculate inside of you whilst on birth control and now your in fear and you've taken that away, off course he's going to get upset but you are both probably very young as well, and his communication over the situation is wrong.

He's not really "getting" your fear of it all.

He's thinking of the feeling he got and gets without pulling out.

And, as he's already experienced it with you it's hard for him to go backwards.

I think you need to seek out those fears from your Doctor as an individual and understand how it all works properly and I think you need to express to him that at the moment, it's a fear and you need to work through that so you need his understanding for the time being.

CW

pureromancebystacie · 07-02-2009, 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nubianqueen

throughout most of our relationship (monogamous, too) we either used condoms or the "pull out" method during sex, while i was on the pill too. lately i decided i wanted to try having sex without him pulling out (yes im still on the pill), but have gotten a little nervous about the possibility of getting pregnant. i have tried to talk to him about going back to our old ways of pulling out, but now he doesnt want to. he says he likes "keeping it in".

The pill is NOT 100% and it states that in the information pamphlet that comes with it.

What it boils down to is that it is your body and if you are uncomfortable about a certain situation you have that right 110% If him staying inside is uncomfortable for you than you need to express it and stick with it. Tell him you will either pull out or wear a condom!

It is your body, and he should be thankful you are allowing it to pleasure him so you should have the final say! I am sure he wouldn't let something continue that he wasn't comfortable with.

Another thing I wanted to share with you if you decide to let him continue and afraid of the risk of becoming pregnant is the negative effect of vaginal lubricants reducing the sperm’s ability to penetrate the cervix. For it to be possible for pregnancy to occur, sperm must penetrate cervical mucus and then proceed to the fallopian tubes in great numbers.

In effort to prevent pregnancy insist he wear a condom, or pull out. Keep taking your pill everyday the same time. As well as use a lubrication to help stop the sperm from traveling inside of the cervix.

sarahmay · 07-03-2009, 07:17 PM

I agree with Iseulda.
My boyfriend and I only use the pill and no other form of contraception. (We plan on getting married in the next couple of years so we feel no need for anything more). I believe consistency is the key to the pill being completely effective. I have an alarm on my phone, so I'm able to take my pill at pretty much exactly the same time every day. I've been using it for about 8 months now and it's worked out very well for me.

Look, if the pill has been working so far for you, as far as regularity with periods and everything else goes, you should be right. Just follow the instructions to the dot. Condoms are also a good option. The withdrawl method is probably the least effective of them all in terms of contraceptive in the first place.

As far as your boyfriend's stubborness goes and your worries.. Well, it is a fact that it is far more pleasant for a man to ejaculate inside the vagina than outside of it.

However, if he is putting pressure on you in a nasty way or making you feel uncomfortable, unhappy or stressed out - that's certainly not a good thing. Have a nice long chat. If you're still concerned or uncomfortable having sex without using the withdrawal method and he absolutely refuses to budge.. well, there's really not much you can do about it.

Both of you need to make sure you've got each other's best interests at heart. If not, well, it's your decision on whether he's worth the trouble. Lol, sorry to be so blunt.

Good luck.

sarahmay · 07-03-2009, 07:25 PM

"It is your body, and he should be thankful you are allowing it to pleasure him so you should have the final say! I am sure he wouldn't let something continue that he wasn't comfortable with."

Sorry, I just saw this and thought I'd add:
It's his body he is allowing someone else to use too, you know. I'm all for guarding our bodies and thinking of them as a temple, but so often women seem to disregard men's bodies as being equally as precious, as we grow up in this anti-male society. But I'm not going to get into that debate right now.

The pleasure of sex should be mutual and comfortable. One person should not have dominance over another in terms of "You must do as I want because I'm female/male and my needs/concerns are therefore greater and more important than yours".

Don't let him pressure you or make you feel uncomfortable, but don't disregard his needs either.

nubianqueen · 07-04-2009, 07:46 AM

"look, if the pill has been working so far for you, as far as regularity with periods and everything else goes, you should be right. Just follow the instructions to the dot...."

I guess that's my biggest worry. i've been taking loestrin for 3 months now, EXACTLY as prescribed...no period since i started. that's how this whole subject became an issue for me!! i've taken many pregnancy tests and were all negative. gone to the doctor and she basically said the same thing that most of yall are saying. (there shouldnt be any problems as long as ur taking the pills every day). i dunno, i'm just so frazzled by this whole thing!!

07-01-2009, 06:36 PM	#26
CHANDLERS WISH WH Moderator Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 9,890 Blog Entries: 7	mmm... Go back and talk to your Doctor pertaining to fertility, your body, cycles, when the least time you can get pregnant, when the best time you can get pregnant, the strength of the particular pill you are taking and it's efficiency. As you can tell, there's mixed thoughts feelings here based on their personal experiences and based on their knowledge of the pill as a woman... I always think that any "fear factor" is based on not enough knowledge and it's evident that you are in fear of getting pregnant and that you don't have enough knowledge. I think if you were to establish all of this your fear would subside more. I also think, that a valid point is being missed. You obviously allowed him to ejaculate inside of you whilst on birth control and now your in fear and you've taken that away, off course he's going to get upset but you are both probably very young as well, and his communication over the situation is wrong. He's not really "getting" your fear of it all. He's thinking of the feeling he got and gets without pulling out. And, as he's already experienced it with you it's hard for him to go backwards. I think you need to seek out those fears from your Doctor as an individual and understand how it all works properly and I think you need to express to him that at the moment, it's a fear and you need to work through that so you need his understanding for the time being. CW __________________ Do we not realise that in order to find a soul It doesn't happen over night if truth were to be told Like everything in life that's hard to achieve you must believe! Register! \| Rules/FAQ \| Contact Mod

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06-30-2009, 10:15 PM	#21
MrPleazr VIP Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: USA Posts: 60	Sorry I didn't read all the replies, I stopped when I got to the replies that say that HE should have some say..... Are you Freakin' serious? HE should have some say? Heck NO he doesn't have a say!!! Is HE gonna help carry that baby? Is he gonna have to deal with it for 9 months, not to mention 18+yrs? No, that's BS.... If your not comfortable with it, then he either pulls (which is dumb) or he puts a rain coat on that baby. Get married, then MAYBE he at least gets to have some input. I'm surprised how many woman on this board are mis-informed. BC pills have been the most successful form of BC, primarily due to the fact that the woman is responsible for taking them, but their effectiveness will vary from person to person. The CAN be 99% effective, but not in every woman. My son was conceived while my wife was CORRECTLY taking BC. A gentleman who works for me has two children conceived the same way. I'm certain his wife was taking them as prescribed when considering that she DID NOT want children at all...FYI, he just got snipped!!! Not to mention, no drug is without it's side affects, BC included. My wife is still dealing with those side affects....

06-30-2009, 10:32 PM	#22
MrPleazr VIP Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: USA Posts: 60	I didn't really mean that the way it reads....mis-informed.... I meant that I'm surprised to read so many posts singing the praises of BC pills... Maybe it's just because I've seen the down side of them...

07-01-2009, 08:43 AM	#24
Swiftus Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 110	The max amount of say any man should have in this is 49% of the vote.

07-03-2009, 07:17 PM	#28
sarahmay Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 18	I agree with Iseulda. My boyfriend and I only use the pill and no other form of contraception. (We plan on getting married in the next couple of years so we feel no need for anything more). I believe consistency is the key to the pill being completely effective. I have an alarm on my phone, so I'm able to take my pill at pretty much exactly the same time every day. I've been using it for about 8 months now and it's worked out very well for me. Look, if the pill has been working so far for you, as far as regularity with periods and everything else goes, you should be right. Just follow the instructions to the dot. Condoms are also a good option. The withdrawl method is probably the least effective of them all in terms of contraceptive in the first place. As far as your boyfriend's stubborness goes and your worries.. Well, it is a fact that it is far more pleasant for a man to ejaculate inside the vagina than outside of it. However, if he is putting pressure on you in a nasty way or making you feel uncomfortable, unhappy or stressed out - that's certainly not a good thing. Have a nice long chat. If you're still concerned or uncomfortable having sex without using the withdrawal method and he absolutely refuses to budge.. well, there's really not much you can do about it. Both of you need to make sure you've got each other's best interests at heart. If not, well, it's your decision on whether he's worth the trouble. Lol, sorry to be so blunt. Good luck.

07-03-2009, 07:25 PM	#29
sarahmay Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 18	"It is your body, and he should be thankful you are allowing it to pleasure him so you should have the final say! I am sure he wouldn't let something continue that he wasn't comfortable with." Sorry, I just saw this and thought I'd add: It's his body he is allowing someone else to use too, you know. I'm all for guarding our bodies and thinking of them as a temple, but so often women seem to disregard men's bodies as being equally as precious, as we grow up in this anti-male society. But I'm not going to get into that debate right now. The pleasure of sex should be mutual and comfortable. One person should not have dominance over another in terms of "You must do as I want because I'm female/male and my needs/concerns are therefore greater and more important than yours". Don't let him pressure you or make you feel uncomfortable, but don't disregard his needs either.

07-04-2009, 07:46 AM	#30
nubianqueen Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 27	"look, if the pill has been working so far for you, as far as regularity with periods and everything else goes, you should be right. Just follow the instructions to the dot...." I guess that's my biggest worry. i've been taking loestrin for 3 months now, EXACTLY as prescribed...no period since i started. that's how this whole subject became an issue for me!! i've taken many pregnancy tests and were all negative. gone to the doctor and she basically said the same thing that most of yall are saying. (there shouldnt be any problems as long as ur taking the pills every day). i dunno, i'm just so frazzled by this whole thing!!