Thread: Married Virgin!

Originally Posted by kaylar

CJ, a Baby passes through the Vagina.
A Baby's head is roughly the size of a
grapefruit.

Obviously, you need to urgently see
a doctor. I have a feeling your problem
is much more serious than you think.

Nah-Im pretty sure I know how serious it is-lol-I know I'm supposed to be able to-but everyone says their first time hurts-and I have a ZERO pain tolerance-I mean nada none! But anywho-other than that Im sure I have an emperferated hymen-which means they'll just do a lil surgery to cut it-but that again is pain and uncomfortableness of someone being down there..lol. but we'll figure sumthing out-o yeah and we aren't having kids-so as long as I can get him to fit thats all that matters

Are you sure it is just a hymen problem? Just thougt I would tell you my experience as I first thought there was a problem with my Hymen. It took me a lot of courage but eventually I went for a smear test and when the nurse had trouble getting it because Iwas too tense I was referred to a sex therapist. The therapist and the man who is now my husband made me see my problem was largly in my head as I had this intense fear of pain and also cultural issues. I also hated my body and anythng down there thougt it was unclean and horrible!. Through some techniques, the vaginal trainers I was given and research using Porn I have to say - I now can insert tampons, and the trainers - all but the largest one. The porn taught me about different sexual things I was niave about I also found some things turned me on soo much - being niave Iwould never have thought of them, and once tured on I opened up,and also lots of natural lubrication which really helped get the trainers in it just got sucked in - no pain at all ( sorry to be graphical). Same with the tampons now, although I still have some issues with the super ones I think that is more to do with the lubrication or the angle I am putting them in at. You need to love your body,learn what turns it on and that sex isnt just about what your husband wants or likes about you and sex, he will love it 1000 times more when you love it too! I really would recommend some of the techniques I was told , and that you experiment with your body, shave down there if it makes it easier and look at it, use your fingers and know all about it, feel the sensations and let go of any inhibitions that I think us ladies seem to hang onto more then men. - hope it is of some help.

Like many girls have said...seeing the doc is SUPER important. The first time is scary but honestly after that it'll get so much easier. Oh and by the way...i have a really tight vagina too and my doc uses a "teen" clamper thing just ask for that. also ask for them to warm it under a lamp so that its not chilly they also can use lubricant so that it slides in easily. Your hubby can do that too! Vaseline even works ...

The other thing is that when you're nervous your vagina tightens up. So breathing exercises and taking baby steps is the way to go. I am still shy with my husband and I don't LOVE the way my vagina looks so we usually have sex with the lights off and candles burning. and I've started shaving down there too...not that hair is grosse - but it just makes me feel really clean. I also like to take a shower or at least clean up with little wet naps before we have sex - and we always take showers together afterwards *(its also a nice way to bond after love making)

I'm sure you'll be fine honey...just take things slow and find a good female doctor that has done it for a long time (she's seen tons of them!)

Originally Posted by KD22

Like many girls have said...seeing the doc is SUPER important. The first time is scary but honestly after that it'll get so much easier. Oh and by the way...i have a really tight vagina too and my doc uses a "teen" clamper thing just ask for that. also ask for them to warm it under a lamp so that its not chilly they also can use lubricant so that it slides in easily. Your hubby can do that too! Vaseline even works ...

The other thing is that when you're nervous your vagina tightens up. So breathing exercises and taking baby steps is the way to go. I am still shy with my husband and I don't LOVE the way my vagina looks so we usually have sex with the lights off and candles burning. and I've started shaving down there too...not that hair is grosse - but it just makes me feel really clean. I also like to take a shower or at least clean up with little wet naps before we have sex - and we always take showers together afterwards *(its also a nice way to bond after love making)

I'm sure you'll be fine honey...just take things slow and find a good female doctor that has done it for a long time (she's seen tons of them!)

That helps me so much-I was torn between if i needed a male or female-so you thnk a female is better? and yea the shaving down there helps-Im so ready to be able to just make love whenever wherever..LOL so I guess I need to hanker down and get w/it-thank you for your help-you really put it a nice way and gave me hope! God Bless!!!

Well I had my surgery 10/1/07 I'm pain free but still have not attempted sex-I went to the Dr. 10/5 and he tried to insert his finger in me and w/my crying and sqruiming from pain he stopped w/half a finger-he said that I wasnt ready for dilators yet if I couldnt take his finger-it was reassuring to hear that b4 my surgery he couldnt get a pinky in but afterwards while i was still under he was able to get 4! in bunched together-so I know it's possible just Im a zero pain tolerance person! Sooo I go back today to try again-he prescribed me Clonzapam*Anxiety meds-he thinks I am just anticipating the pain and tightening up-who knows! But we shall see-wish me luck! just gonna be a long process! Im glad I've made it this far!

Aww. Good for you. ^_^

Good luck!

If I remember correctly, the problem you could be having is called primary vulvodynia. It has to do with pain from the first time of trying to insert a tampon or have sex. It can be caused about ten different ways, so resolving it depends on what's causing it.

I'm glad you had the surgery and that you've found a doctor to help you. I also think that you're so worried about the amount of pain that you're literally clenching yourself closed every time it comes to any penetration. Its happened to me once or twice. Our ladies can close up as tight as clams when we want them to (or in your case, even when you don't!)

I'm really sorry that you're having this issue. I know it must be really trying for you.

Best of luck on your progress and let us know how you do!

Well I did it! He got his finger in! It hurt a lil-like when he was entering but once in it was just uncomfortable he moved around and that stung-but my stitches are still there so thats why! I go back Mon. 10/15 to start w/the dilators! Im excited but nervous about if it will hurt all over again-I know that I have to be really relaxed! o and also my husband was able to get his first nuckle in last nite (sorry if thats too much info) it wasnt for pleasure or nothing just trying to see if he could. Well Im excited and I've come this far so Im not going back-jst gotta grin and bear it I guess! Thanks for the support! I'll keep ya posted! Any questions let me know! o and yeah he diagnosed me w/Dyspareunia which is almost the same thing "LadyLane" just my hymen was too thick so nothing could penetrate it-he cut slits in it and did two stitches and things are getting better-Just looking forward to the end results!