Is there anyone out there like me?

CnfsedGrl89 · 07-01-2009, 08:57 PM

I'm 20 years old and I have been having sex with my boyfriend for now 2 1/2 years. I had had sex very briefly before we met, around 2 or 3 times. When my boyfriend and I started to have sex, it did not feel good but it did not feel bad. However, after about 6 months, it started to hurt bad once we had finished sex. This caused me to stop wanting to have sex but I loved him so I continued to try and have sex with him for a year. I'm very honest with him and I told him about my issues and we decided to ask a gyno about it. When I went to the gyno, she said that there was no problems and all we had to use was Lube. We therefore, for about 3-4 months after the first year, we used Lube although it still hurt after and did not feel good during. The more we had sex, the less I wanted to, so the last 6 months of us dating we barely did and when we did it hurt during and after. Finally, around 6 months ago, we researched a lot on the internet and we figured out different ways for us to do foreplay. We stopped using Lube and eventually he was able to make me cum from sex. So... basically sex feels good now during but after it immediately hurts. Also, I cannot go for more than 10 minutes without it starting to hurt during and being extremely painful afterwards. I don't understand why this is happening to me... it feels like i'm wet before and i cum during, yet i can't go for long and its extremely painful afterwards... am i doing something wrong? does this happen to ANYONE ELSE? some advice is needed please!!!!

**caterpillar79** · 07-01-2009, 09:17 PM

Every woman is different. You may want to consider having a second opinion. In my case, I didn't lube enough, so I get "scratched" inside...more of it was the fact that I was forced into it. Then, I went to another OB-GYN, and learned that I have a retroverted uterus. She said it can be fixed when I give birth - she'll fix it.

Does he wait long enough for you to really be lubed? Sometimes we don't lube up well enough. Also, how often do you engage? You probably need a lot more of stimulation to get really wet. I haven't used artificial lubricants, but i know that our natural lube dries up quick.

**starjoy08** · 07-01-2009, 09:18 PM

This happen to when i first started to have sex. But with me it went away after about 6 months. For me it hurt because it felt like a hot dog was trying to push thru the head of a needle!!!

And if I don't have sex for a long period of time, it starts to hurt again. Maybe it is the way you are doing it. Have you tried different position? If you don't mind me asking.. what kind of pain is it?

CnfsedGrl89 · 07-02-2009, 10:27 AM

During sex, it isn't paiful at all.. it feels good, unless we go for longer than 10 minutes... then it's not exactly painful but it's an uncomfortable feeling. Then immediately after he pulls out, it is like a burning pain on the circular inside of my vagina for about an hour. Then it eventually goes away... but it makes the entire sex experience unpleasant because no matter how good the sex is during, the pain i encounter afterwards is bad.

**WildChild** · 07-02-2009, 10:38 AM

It sounds like you still may not be wet enough, long enough. You've made great progress. Have you tried orgasming just from foreplay a few times before you have intercourse?
Are you using condoms? What kind of bc are you using? You could be latex sensitive - if you are using comdoms. You could be paraben sensitive as well. Paraben is a cheap preservative heavily used in the US (I think it's been banned in the EU -every breast tumor is loaded with it). You'll find paraben in most lubes and spermicides (on some condoms and diaphram jelly). It is also in most shampoos, cosmetics, lotions, even toothpaste. It's nasty stuff and my dematologist told me about 10% of people are sensitive to it and most don't know it.

pureromancebystacie · 07-02-2009, 04:20 PM

Sorry you are experiencing this. Try more foreplay, all women are different and it can usually take anywhere from 14-45 minutes for a woman to become fully aroused. When a women is fully aroused a process known as tenting occurs. This is when the blood flows to the vaginal tissue, and the vagina expands in width and grows in length.

Also even if you are "wet" use lube anyways. Either a silicone or water based, but make sure your lubrication is compatible with the type of condom you are using.

You can also try different positions. Most women who experience painful intercourse are relieved from the "Doggy Style" Position

Another thing you might consider giving a try is using a male stimulator "sleeve" over the penis, also know as a pocket p***y. This will act as a barrier not letting him enter in as deep, but taking no pleasure away from him, and Still allowing you to enjoy him.

Try different things or even a combination of different things. If all else fails I would go back to another doctor and get a second opinion.

LittleBird · 07-03-2009, 07:16 PM

I used to be JUST like this... although, I don't really have much advice to give you

(( It REALLY REALLY sucks. My ex-boyfriend was more endowed than my current boyfriend haha... and so sex used to be sooo painful. We tried lube, but I kept getting UTIs with lube and then I'd have to take antibiotics, which would cause yeast infections, then it would hurt all over again. It was a mess! I noticed that (obviously) with yeast infections sex was unbearably painful, so make sure you don't have one of those! Also, as caterpillar79 mentioned, I KNOW that I have a "tilted" uterus (Dr. told me when I had an ultrasound done of my ovaries)... which you could very well have! A friend of mine had one before she had a child and she said sex used to be VERY painful for her. I know that it causes me discomfort often, because not all positions are pleasant.

Those are just some thoughts I'm throwing around... I REALLY can relate to you, I would get SO upset and just cry after sex because I knew it wasn't supposed to feel that way. I have to be very careful during sex, I'm just too sensitive I suppose. And having a boyfriend who isn't as large (which he feels all self conscious about obviously, while I'm very happy about haha!) definitely has helped.

Hope that helps! Good luck!

LittleBird · 07-03-2009, 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CnfsedGrl89

During sex, it isn't paiful at all.. it feels good, unless we go for longer than 10 minutes... then it's not exactly painful but it's an uncomfortable feeling. Then immediately after he pulls out, it is like a burning pain on the circular inside of my vagina for about an hour. Then it eventually goes away... but it makes the entire sex experience unpleasant because no matter how good the sex is during, the pain i encounter afterwards is bad.

Sorry, I didn't see your post farther down for some reason! With my experience with the same problem, maybe it is the lube? I NEVER found lube to be totally pleasant, whenever I've used it, it would burn for a long time after... Even water-based lube. I don't use the fancy KY stuff they advertise. I realized it's probably just my sensitivity. I can't use bubble bath, I get irritated down there... so it kind of makes sense! Hope that helps again...

07-01-2009, 08:57 PM	#1
CnfsedGrl89 Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 2	Is there anyone out there like me? I'm 20 years old and I have been having sex with my boyfriend for now 2 1/2 years. I had had sex very briefly before we met, around 2 or 3 times. When my boyfriend and I started to have sex, it did not feel good but it did not feel bad. However, after about 6 months, it started to hurt bad once we had finished sex. This caused me to stop wanting to have sex but I loved him so I continued to try and have sex with him for a year. I'm very honest with him and I told him about my issues and we decided to ask a gyno about it. When I went to the gyno, she said that there was no problems and all we had to use was Lube. We therefore, for about 3-4 months after the first year, we used Lube although it still hurt after and did not feel good during. The more we had sex, the less I wanted to, so the last 6 months of us dating we barely did and when we did it hurt during and after. Finally, around 6 months ago, we researched a lot on the internet and we figured out different ways for us to do foreplay. We stopped using Lube and eventually he was able to make me cum from sex. So... basically sex feels good now during but after it immediately hurts. Also, I cannot go for more than 10 minutes without it starting to hurt during and being extremely painful afterwards. I don't understand why this is happening to me... it feels like i'm wet before and i cum during, yet i can't go for long and its extremely painful afterwards... am i doing something wrong? does this happen to ANYONE ELSE? some advice is needed please!!!!

07-01-2009, 09:17 PM	#2
caterpillar79 Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: MidWest, USA Posts: 1,147 Blog Entries: 51	Every woman is different. You may want to consider having a second opinion. In my case, I didn't lube enough, so I get "scratched" inside...more of it was the fact that I was forced into it. Then, I went to another OB-GYN, and learned that I have a retroverted uterus. She said it can be fixed when I give birth - she'll fix it. Does he wait long enough for you to really be lubed? Sometimes we don't lube up well enough. Also, how often do you engage? You probably need a lot more of stimulation to get really wet. I haven't used artificial lubricants, but i know that our natural lube dries up quick. __________________ Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning how to dance in the rain.

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07-01-2009, 09:18 PM	#3
starjoy08 VIP Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: In the Alabama area Posts: 60 Blog Entries: 1	This happen to when i first started to have sex. But with me it went away after about 6 months. For me it hurt because it felt like a hot dog was trying to push thru the head of a needle!!! And if I don't have sex for a long period of time, it starts to hurt again. Maybe it is the way you are doing it. Have you tried different position? If you don't mind me asking.. what kind of pain is it?

07-02-2009, 10:27 AM	#4
CnfsedGrl89 Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 2	During sex, it isn't paiful at all.. it feels good, unless we go for longer than 10 minutes... then it's not exactly painful but it's an uncomfortable feeling. Then immediately after he pulls out, it is like a burning pain on the circular inside of my vagina for about an hour. Then it eventually goes away... but it makes the entire sex experience unpleasant because no matter how good the sex is during, the pain i encounter afterwards is bad.

07-02-2009, 10:38 AM	#5
WildChild Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Western USA Posts: 5,858 Blog Entries: 4	It sounds like you still may not be wet enough, long enough. You've made great progress. Have you tried orgasming just from foreplay a few times before you have intercourse? Are you using condoms? What kind of bc are you using? You could be latex sensitive - if you are using comdoms. You could be paraben sensitive as well. Paraben is a cheap preservative heavily used in the US (I think it's been banned in the EU -every breast tumor is loaded with it). You'll find paraben in most lubes and spermicides (on some condoms and diaphram jelly). It is also in most shampoos, cosmetics, lotions, even toothpaste. It's nasty stuff and my dematologist told me about 10% of people are sensitive to it and most don't know it.

07-02-2009, 04:20 PM	#6
pureromancebystacie Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Indiana Posts: 13	Sorry you are experiencing this. Try more foreplay, all women are different and it can usually take anywhere from 14-45 minutes for a woman to become fully aroused. When a women is fully aroused a process known as tenting occurs. This is when the blood flows to the vaginal tissue, and the vagina expands in width and grows in length. Also even if you are "wet" use lube anyways. Either a silicone or water based, but make sure your lubrication is compatible with the type of condom you are using. You can also try different positions. Most women who experience painful intercourse are relieved from the "Doggy Style" Position Another thing you might consider giving a try is using a male stimulator "sleeve" over the penis, also know as a pocket p***y. This will act as a barrier not letting him enter in as deep, but taking no pleasure away from him, and Still allowing you to enjoy him. Try different things or even a combination of different things. If all else fails I would go back to another doctor and get a second opinion.

07-03-2009, 07:16 PM	#7
LittleBird Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 2	I used to be JUST like this... although, I don't really have much advice to give you (( It REALLY REALLY sucks. My ex-boyfriend was more endowed than my current boyfriend haha... and so sex used to be sooo painful. We tried lube, but I kept getting UTIs with lube and then I'd have to take antibiotics, which would cause yeast infections, then it would hurt all over again. It was a mess! I noticed that (obviously) with yeast infections sex was unbearably painful, so make sure you don't have one of those! Also, as caterpillar79 mentioned, I KNOW that I have a "tilted" uterus (Dr. told me when I had an ultrasound done of my ovaries)... which you could very well have! A friend of mine had one before she had a child and she said sex used to be VERY painful for her. I know that it causes me discomfort often, because not all positions are pleasant. Those are just some thoughts I'm throwing around... I REALLY can relate to you, I would get SO upset and just cry after sex because I knew it wasn't supposed to feel that way. I have to be very careful during sex, I'm just too sensitive I suppose. And having a boyfriend who isn't as large (which he feels all self conscious about obviously, while I'm very happy about haha!) definitely has helped. Hope that helps! Good luck!