Thread: Do your body insecurities prevent you from having sex?

Originally Posted by caterpillar79

TRUST is the key factor for you to feel at ease. If you don't feel strongly for him, and / or fails to reassure you that he likes/loves you as you are, I can't blame you for feeling that way. It took me a while to open up with my S/O. And as he recounted with me, he watched me "trust" him slowly but surely.

It is for the most...a growing period for both of you - it doesn't happen overnight. My opinion.

Thats me all the way caterpiller. I did not feel confident at first, but my boyfriend slowly but surely made me feel more and more at ease. The more I trusted in him, the more I revealed. A man with a huge pot belly will take his tshirt off and strut that gut with pride at a BBQ or football game and no one winces (much). But put a woman with a tiny bit of cellulite in a bikini and hear the whispers from across the room.

Women's bodies have always been held to a higher standard and even some of the skinniest and most beautiful women still sometimes feel a little bit unsure of themselves and then some times a big and beautiful woman can bare all with confidence.

Women vary on body image, some have distorted negetive views, some have genuine concerns but either way - being with a man that is patient and loving, mature and understanding makes all the difference in the world.

It took time for me to come out of my shell and I am still shedding but without his care and love I wouldn't have grown to be as comfortable as I now am and he is reaping the benefits as much as me

trust me, if this is somebody you have been with for awhile then he thinks you are the most beautiful woman in the world

ok, true story...hubby and I had both been celibate for 10+ years when we met, both divorced previously and not into one night stands or casual sex. our first weekend together...I was a bit self-conscious...it had been forever...but by the time he unhooked my bra and slid my panties down he had the most humongous boner I'd ever seen...that itself will do wonders for your self-esteem!

I am far from perfect, have jiggly bits and stretch marks here and there, but I almost never have sex in a manner that my partner does not get an eyefull. One of our favorite things to do is to have sex on the living room couch with afternoon sunlight streaming through the curtain. Men are very visual creatures. It is such a huge part of their arousal to be able to see their partner's body move, her face go into all sorts of funny expressions when she comes. Or at least, that's what my partner has told me.

If you have built a solid foundation of caring and respect with a man, he will be pretty much blind to the imperfections that seem so glaring to you. I can't think of the last time we had sex in total dark.

I remember with one of my previous partners, he moved the action into the bathroom, had me lean on the sink while he penetrated me from behind, and told me to watch myself. It made me a bit uncomfortable at first, but then became an incredible turn-on. It may seem counter-intuitive, but try using mirrors. Have him close his eyes, but keep the lights on, and watch the sex in a mirror. I started thinking about my body in a different, admiring way, thinking to myself "Wow, I didn't know I moved like that, that's pretty hot." I foused less on the problems with my body, and more on the awesome things I could do with it.