Thread: porn and effects on sex

Now I know myself that I have read a few of these threads and now it seems I need everyone elses advice here! The last few weeks my partner hasnt been working and we have been spending a bit of time together, sex of a night has become either incomplete or not there at all which I thought to start with might of been the medication for his back, but then realised how quick he was to jump me when I had taken the kids to school a few times, I recently discovered that he has been watching porn of a morning while i have been taking the kids to school and of course he is horny when I come in, I asked him how often he watches it he said maybe once a month and when I baught up a site he said he had never used it which i knew was a lie but any way my question is what am i meant to do? He doesnt involve me in it at all though i have asked he assumes I dont know that behind my back he is watching porn 3 to 4 times a week not once a month and im starting to feel that when i come onto him when he hasnt been watching it that sex just doesnt work does everyone else see this as a problem? What am I meant to do or say because right now im mad as and I cant get my head around all of this at all!

Porn is like a drug.

Too much and it can ruin lives.

When used in moderation it can enhance or improve the intimate experience.

Generally, when it becomes a problem, it is a symptom of something else.

I would encourage you to discuss it with him openly, honestly and in a non-threatening manner.

Why is it ok for woman to read romance novels, but not for men to watch porn? If you understand that men are more visual and woman are more mental (and I mean that in a good way for this instance, LOL) what really is the difference? It's all fantasy... Which in most cases is perfectly healthy.

Moderation is the key... Sarahmay, what you discribe is on the excessive end of the spectrum, not the norm...

Blondie, I understand that your upset that he lied to you about how much he watches. I would be surprised if most men would answer honestly if asked point blank about how often they watched, especially when it's obvious that you don't approve. Some might say he was just trying to spare your feelings.

Sometimes, I'm way more in the mood in the morning. It could be that he is already in the mood when he wakes up but can't do anything about it until you take the kids to school. So, while your gone, he gets himself even more worked up by watching while he's waiting for you to get back and then jumping your bones.... Then, other times, is it possible that maybe he's just not in the mood. Trust me, the moods come and go for men just like they do woman. The difference, many times, a woman can pop out a boob and POW!! he's in the mood again, LOL, unfortunately it doesn't work that way for woman....

I think maybe your reading more into it than there is. Now, if it upsets you for him to watch porn at all, then you need to discuss that with him, but you have to be reasonable....