Is it possible to desensitize yourself?

**amaranthine** · 07-06-2009, 07:09 PM

I feel like I have it a little backwards... most women say that they can only really orgasm from clitoral stimulation. What I'm finding is that I need vaginal stimulation to orgasm, along with clitoral. I can't usually from vaginal alone, and I can occasionally come from clitoral alone, but it takes forever and sometimes gets sore before I can come.
I need both...

Is this normal? Have I desensitized my clit or something? During sex, I wait until I feel lightheaded from vaginal stimulation and then play with my clit, and bam, within ten seconds I'm done. But now I have trouble masturbating, and my boyfriend sometimes gets frustrated when I can't come from him going down on me. I get close, but I always ask him to stop because that area will just get sore...

What's going on?

**caterpillar79** · 07-06-2009, 07:58 PM

You might be becoming more sensitive. Is there anything that you are taking different now from then, pill, food, schedules, stress, anything?

Sometimes, it has a lot to do with our hormones. I feel the same and I am keely observing myself as to why such and such happens. I haven't arrived at a more viable conclusion yet, but I am closely monitoring myself. I jot down my observations for future discussion with my OB. Try it, you might be surprised.

**golden_nemesis** · 07-07-2009, 11:25 AM

For me, I orgasm differently while masturbating and during sex. During masturbation I find it easiest to climax from clitoral stimulation, but during sex, I need both clitoral and vaginal. Don't particularly know why it is different. Also, just to make it weirder, I can't really climax during sex if I am stimulating my clit, only if he is. But if I am rubbing on off by myself, a few minutes of clitoral stimulation by my own hand usually does the trick.

To help you get off during oral, ask him to stimulate you vaginally with his fingers. Though I love getting oral very much, I rarely cum from it unless I am getting some vaginal penetration from his fingers at the same time. There is nothing wrong with needing both kinds of stimulation to come.

**jonnie_rocks** · 07-07-2009, 08:51 PM

How much do you use a vibrator for masturbation? Many believe that, over time, using a vibrator can change the sensitivity required to orgasm. Frnakly, I don't know a man that can compete with a vibrator (and I love cunnilingus).

Does your BF concentrate on just one area when giving you oral? Or does he move around? How much 'pre-oral' oral play (inner thighs, near the top, near the sides, etc.) is there?

Does he know how to do the alphabet in all CAPS? Once he's gotten to direct stimulation, does he just focus on the clit itself?

There are many helpful books out there....One I'd recommend for all men is "She Comes First" (it has a picture of a papaya and a banana on the cover). Border's is also selling an oversized book called the Good Sex Bible. Both have been helpful.

I agree with one of the previous replies too. Nothing wrong with dual stimulation. Especially if he knows where your G-spot is (about 1.5 - 2 inches inside on the underside of the pubic bone...spongey almond shape mass of pure pleasure).

Questions I asked were meant to get you thinking about things....not have you answer them per se.

Have you ever shown him how you masterbate? Techniques? Finger placement? etc.

Good communication can also be very important.

07-06-2009, 07:09 PM	#1
amaranthine Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 137	Is it possible to desensitize yourself? I feel like I have it a little backwards... most women say that they can only really orgasm from clitoral stimulation. What I'm finding is that I need vaginal stimulation to orgasm, along with clitoral. I can't usually from vaginal alone, and I can occasionally come from clitoral alone, but it takes forever and sometimes gets sore before I can come. I need both... Is this normal? Have I desensitized my clit or something? During sex, I wait until I feel lightheaded from vaginal stimulation and then play with my clit, and bam, within ten seconds I'm done. But now I have trouble masturbating, and my boyfriend sometimes gets frustrated when I can't come from him going down on me. I get close, but I always ask him to stop because that area will just get sore... What's going on? __________________

07-06-2009, 07:58 PM	#2
caterpillar79 WH Moderator Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: MidWest, USA Posts: 2,831 Blog Entries: 59	You might be becoming more sensitive. Is there anything that you are taking different now from then, pill, food, schedules, stress, anything? Sometimes, it has a lot to do with our hormones. I feel the same and I am keely observing myself as to why such and such happens. I haven't arrived at a more viable conclusion yet, but I am closely monitoring myself. I jot down my observations for future discussion with my OB. Try it, you might be surprised. __________________ Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning how to dance in the rain. Register! \| Rules/FAQ \|Contact Mod\| Contact Admin

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07-07-2009, 11:25 AM	#3
golden_nemesis Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 127	For me, I orgasm differently while masturbating and during sex. During masturbation I find it easiest to climax from clitoral stimulation, but during sex, I need both clitoral and vaginal. Don't particularly know why it is different. Also, just to make it weirder, I can't really climax during sex if I am stimulating my clit, only if he is. But if I am rubbing on off by myself, a few minutes of clitoral stimulation by my own hand usually does the trick. To help you get off during oral, ask him to stimulate you vaginally with his fingers. Though I love getting oral very much, I rarely cum from it unless I am getting some vaginal penetration from his fingers at the same time. There is nothing wrong with needing both kinds of stimulation to come.

07-07-2009, 08:51 PM	#4
jonnie_rocks VIP Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 33	How much do you use a vibrator for masturbation? Many believe that, over time, using a vibrator can change the sensitivity required to orgasm. Frnakly, I don't know a man that can compete with a vibrator (and I love cunnilingus). Does your BF concentrate on just one area when giving you oral? Or does he move around? How much 'pre-oral' oral play (inner thighs, near the top, near the sides, etc.) is there? Does he know how to do the alphabet in all CAPS? Once he's gotten to direct stimulation, does he just focus on the clit itself? There are many helpful books out there....One I'd recommend for all men is "She Comes First" (it has a picture of a papaya and a banana on the cover). Border's is also selling an oversized book called the Good Sex Bible. Both have been helpful. I agree with one of the previous replies too. Nothing wrong with dual stimulation. Especially if he knows where your G-spot is (about 1.5 - 2 inches inside on the underside of the pubic bone...spongey almond shape mass of pure pleasure). Questions I asked were meant to get you thinking about things....not have you answer them per se. Have you ever shown him how you masterbate? Techniques? Finger placement? etc. Good communication can also be very important.