ladies help me,I'm considering cheating on my wife

**MrPleazr** · 07-07-2009 08:05 PM

Like everyone else says, talk to her, calmly...

Just don't cheat on her, whatever you do. Your not just cheating on your wife, your cheating on your kids. It's not worth the damage you'll do to your kids just so you can bust a nut twice a week.... Buy a fleshlight or something, but don't cheat.... Maybe tell your wife she doesn't have to have sex with you, but she's got to give you a hand job twice a week, she can spare 10 minutes a week. Say it as a joke and hope your wife has a sense of humor...Or, tell her you've decided to go green and save water by showering together, then offer to give her a hand with those hard to reach areas...lol.... It could be that she's just bored with the same ole thing everytime....mix it up... do you go down on her? Isn't there a saying, something about a man who knows how to use his tongue, never has to waste a hard-on???

Just find a way to talk about it....but don't make her feel like she has to do it to make you happy, figure out how to make her WANT it... Then you'll both be happy...

**ren_07** · 07-07-2009 08:08 PM

Agreeing with Reilu, cheating now affects your children. You would be teaching them that taking the "easy way out" and avoiding the situation is the way to solve problems rather than communication and building a better foundation for a relationship. I'm sure by now, you've read enough responses to know what you need to do. People really do change once they realize how close they are to losing something. If her having sex with you more is the only issue in your relationship, I think you're out of excuses to let this catch go.

jr · 07-07-2009 09:04 PM

HEY! WAKE UP! YOU SAID THAT YOU WERE THINKING ABOUT CHEATING ON YOUR WIFE!!!

Now go stand in front of a mirror (when nobody else is around) and SAY IT OUT LOUD!!

Tonight, when you tuck your children in bed or say goodnight, say goodbye too, because when you get caught she'll probably throw you out.

Sounds like you need to invest some $$$$ in your marriage/relationship. Whether that is with a therapist of sorts, a couples retreat or just the two of you and a long weekend getaway (where you can do lots of talking).

My EX cheated on me and OUR CHILDREN. When you cheat, you cheat on the entire family....think about that! See your children's faces? The PRICE IS WAY TOO HIGH!!

DON'T DO IT!

**Swiftus** · 07-08-2009 07:17 AM

Im going to defend the OP a bit here.

Yes, cheating on wife is cheating on whole family.

With that said:

1. Men need to feel that they can please/appease a woman. I am in a similar situation where I can't seem to make my wife happy no matter what I do (toys, porn, romance, flowers, dinners, pills, booze, roleplay, tons of foreplay, light bondage....) Right now, I don't feel that I am a good lover and I am sure that it isn't my fault. I still want to make a woman cum hard.

2. Men want to feel wanted too. Okay, women who say that their sig others are always begging, you need to realize that in many cases we've tried everything else we can think of. I bought some cute panties for my wife and asked for a little show (with a cute short skirt). She didn't even bother. She just showed off the panties then went into the room to put on her flannel pants.

What are people in our situations supposed to do? I am honestly tired of reading "talk to her about it". I bet we've all done it and that honestly doesn't do anything productive. All it does is make you ladies even more worried and less willing to make love. All we get is a pity screw, then. The end result is a worse situation than when we began.

**WildChild** · 07-08-2009 07:31 AM

I don't know what to say. I have the same situation essentially with a man who only wants it when he wants it. He knows I want him all the time. He uses it as a tool. He thinks he is a very conscuous person but I know part of it isn't - he's plugging into old dramas. It's frustrating, it's hurtful and it can warp you if it continues too long because it keeps you from being fully who you are in the relationship and in your life. When you love someone and they block you like this it's really painful.

If a man I cared for did all or some of the things you describe, I'd think I was in heaven.
People certainly can make life harder than it needs to be and take a lot of the joy out of it.

What was/is her parents marriage like? We either adopt what we grew up thinking our parents had or we reject it an adopt what we think is different but is probably still replaying a lot of that. We can learn to act differently but we have to want to. Sometimes that takes a real shock. Like understanding that if things don't change the realtionship will end. Although even then all a lot of people will do is wring their hands.

Have you considered counseling? Sometimes having that trained third party in there can help get a point across. It's weird but some people listen better to an outsider.

**Swiftus** · 07-08-2009 08:09 AM

how to make a scared/uptight person crawl even deeper into their hole:

Tell them that they need sex counseling.

she freely admits that she can't orgasm and never has. She never lets herself feel good. I can't go down on her for more that a few minutes without her claims that it is tickling her too much. I cant use my face, hands, tongue, or apparatus.

Here is my last bit of $.02 on this one.
Cheating for love means a broken relationship
Cheating to fulfill sex means a broken sexual relationship.

**caterpillar79** · 07-08-2009 03:18 PM

OK, I have read a lot about both sides and I can't blame anyone. It takes two to tango, you know. Now, if and only if you cannot really avoid cheating...then come clean. At least you've tried your everything and bothing worked. You can now decide whether or not to do it. If you won't then you'll do what is best for your family and sacrifice a little (you can appease yourself artificially with a fleshlight and masturbation). If you decided to do otherwise, then do yourself and your loved ones a favor, especially your wife. Get divorced - come clean please.

**caterpillar79** · 07-08-2009 03:18 PM

* nothing worked

**Unshaw** · 07-09-2009 07:21 PM

I understand where you are coming from. It' hard when you feel like you are left out in the cold and the pet gets better treatment than you, and when you try to talk to your partner about this you find that it ends up being your fault and your not in touch with there feelings. But for the life of me I do not understand when a wife thinks about doing the same in this instance then all of your opinions are different. If a man thinks this then he is a not a good person and he should stay and support his wife and try and repair the relationship in most cases that I have seen. But if a woman thinks this then most of the replies I have seen is she should leave or stay until they get on there feet financially and then leave. Why the double standard. He has not done nothing wrong yet or may not follow throught with it. But do not criticize him. I bet that some of you have though about doing this at some time in your life either by leaving or cheating. Give him some use full information that he can use and put in to practice.