I am a newly wed to my 3rd husband. Now I am only 24 and I have made my mistakes I know but I feel some of what I say may help. Now, I am a different kind of person than you in the respect I am overly jealous when it comes to other people and my man. I couldn't take it if he was with anyone else and I get frustrated when he jacks off instead of making love to me but yet I hide the fact that I masterbate when no one is home to dp porn on the internet. I like the unusual too and the creepy sometimes. so your not a freak your just unique and your not alone. I would say that if you have kids and he's a good man then you should be absolutly sure about everything before you leave your husband. About the open marriage...if you only have the feeling that you don't like him with other people sometimes and not all the time, I would lok at why you feel that way and when is it that your feeling that way. Is it at times in your life that you need extra attention from him? Could it be that your tired of the game? Or is it simply what it is and nothing more? These are all questions I would ask myself If I were in your position. It seems you like to be with more than one person and you dont pull the double standard on him when he wants it and that is amazing! I commend you for still haveing a good marriage and being able to do what you do. Not many out there could handle that. If you have any other questions or wish to discuss this more please feel free to note me or email me. I hope I could help some. Blessed be and have a great weekend.