Sorry if this gets long.

My DH and I have been married for 8 years. We have three children. We have been arguing since the last one was born in Jan06. My libido has been slowly disappearing since he was born. Yes, I am breastfeeding. I had some effects on my libido with the last one but the effects were never this bad.

At this point I could go a long time with out sex. I do enjoy the sex once we get started, but I don?t want anything else. I am ok without the oral, touching, kissing.

This is really starting to come between my DH and I. I am not the one to initiate sex, since I don?t want it. He is getting tired of being turned down? who can blame him.

I have tried several suggestions that I have read on these boards. I have tried to ?just do it?, but that does not seem to be satisfying my DH?s need for ?passion?.

I have tried:

To initiate it, but we end up in the same position as ?just do it?.

To think about Dh more during the day.

To read more sexual material.

Up until a few weeks ago we continued to have sex about 4 times a week. Now, I am lucky if I can get in the mood enough to do it twice.

I have an appt with sex therapist as well as my OB to discuss this in the next few weeks.

If any of you have any other suggestions to help put the spice back into my sex life, I am willing to try anything.

All's i have to say is twice a week is great with three kids, it is better than my (maybe) twice a month and we have no kids

Anyway, I don't have much advise, but to talk to your doctor (which you are doing)...So really i just want to say good luck and if you find out anything benificial...pass it my way

It is a good idea to see your gyn and make sure you aren't suffering from a hormone imbalance. That is common as women age and especially after child birth. If your hormones are out of balance, it can completely kill your libido.

There are also a lot of other factors to concider. Stress will also wipe out your sex drive. Losing confidence in your self image will have an effect. Not eating healthy or getting enough rest can be bad. Forgetting to keep your relationship spontanious and eventful will have an impact.

It will help to evaluate those things I mentioned to see if they could use some improvement. Try to find new things to spark your sexual interest. Don't be afraid to go out on a limb and try things that might be intimidating. You might surprise yourself. Talking and being very open with each other can also help. Be very honest about the problem and what you are willing to do to fix it. Get him involved in the solution. Let him know that you need help to make it better and that you are not being stand-offish on purpose. You will find that increasing your communication can really help. Things that you might be embarrassed to talk about... just do it.