Thread: Anal and Oral, yuck?

My husband and I have been married for over 13 years now; I'll admit that due to a childhood experience I’m a bit reserved in regards to sex. I love my husband and treasure him but he's pushing me away with his request. For awhile now he's been asking for "Everything", the everything being an inclusion of anal and oral in our play time.
Now I have tried anal with him 4 times, we never get too far because it hurts alot. We've tried different things each time with no success and I just don't want to try anymore, I don't like the pain. In regards to oral, the mere thought of semen in my mouth makes me gag. If I even see semen I start to gag, no joke (it’s kind of embarrassing). I've only been with two people, my husband and the person who I believe caused the reservations.
He keeps bugging me for it, I feel like a freak cause I don't want to, and I'm not sure if my dislike is normal or if I’m just screwy. Every time I have tried it I feel ...... well let’s just say I don't feel myself. Am I losing my mind or is my dislike normal?

You are entitled to your likes and dislikes and your husband should respect your bounderies.

That being said, does he perform oral on you? Anal sex I can understand not providing due to pain, that one is a gift and should never be expected unless willing.

Oral on the other hand, is not something that hurts. Your aversion to semen could be handled by simply him not orgasm in your mouth.

Would you be willing to meet him half way on any of it? Again its not normal or abnormal when it comes to personal choice but couples really should lend themselves to compromise if at all possible to keep both parties content.

You're not a freak, you just have different sexual standard.

Guys tend to be more sexually pushy than girls, and especially when you have been married a long time, afterall you have committed to being faithful to your partner so if he's not going to be able to try it with you, he's not going to be able to at all!

Having said that, you HAVE tried it with him 4 times no less and have good reason not to want to try again. You shouldn't feel forced into doing anything uncomfortable, and he certainly shouldn't be pressuring you to - it's just not fair or respectful.

aside from the pain aspect do you ahve anything against anal play? What I mean is, if it was not painful, would you be happy to integrate it into your sexual routine? If so, then I think the onus is on him to make sure he's not going to hurt you. there is plenty of advice on this available, and I suspect he just hasn't done the research or isn't very patient. Either way it's just him being lazy, and thats not on.

If he wants the reward he should be willing to put in the work! Most people would balk at even trying anal once, you've let him try 4 times! If he wants a 5th shot, he needs to put in the work first I think.

As for Oral, have you considered the following possible solutions:

1. favoured condoms. If he wants you to go down on him, the least he can do is try it this way first.

2. if it's the taste that bothers you, what about using flavoured body paint, whipped cream or other similar substances to hide the taste? if it's just the mental thought of his member in your mouth, or the idea of his semen there then things area little more difficult and I can't really suggest anything for that.

Overall though - no, you're not a freak, he has no right to make you feel like one and you don't need to do anything you're not confortable with. if there's a compromise that can be found, so much the better, but at the end of the day he's got no right to force you into anything, and it speaks badly for him if he tries.