Sexual Confidence...

**diamond_dust** · 08-02-2009 11:12 PM

Hi!

I was jsut wondering if anyone knew of how to get alittle more confiendce in the bedroom. I've been with my bf for 3 years and I'm still shy unless I've been drinking, but when I haven't I would like to be more confident and wild in the bedroom, but I'm always so nervous. I dont even make moaning sounds or anything, it just feels silly and weird, I'm so quiet and during sex it always quiet (then I begin to think my what ifs). I would like to just jump on my bf and start making out with him, but them I think what if he dosen't want to have sex, what if I'm doing it wrong, what if he pusses me away. I'm always thinking. I just want to make sure I'm not being stupid about anything or I want to know that I'm doing it right.

**diamond_dust** · 08-02-2009 11:20 PM

Just wondering if anyone had any advice?

**dr.mansview** · 08-02-2009 11:45 PM

I would like to just jump on my bf and start making out with him, but them I think what if he dosen't want to have sex, what if I'm doing it wrong, what if he pusses me away. I'm always thinking.

..see hi-lite above..that may be your problem..just act on your impulse..unless he is a cotrol freak most men like it when their SO jumps their bones..after 3 years you should know his moods by now..

**rcoreyus** · 08-03-2009 12:06 AM

Does he ever turn you down? If not, then go for it - he will probably love it.

**OG612** · 08-03-2009 01:14 AM

Originally Posted by diamond_dust

Hi!

I was jsut wondering if anyone knew of how to get alittle more confiendce in the bedroom.

Enjoy what you do. That's a big starter.

I've been with my bf for 3 years and I'm still shy unless I've been drinking, but when I haven't I would like to be more confident and wild in the bedroom, but I'm always so nervous.

Act out your fantasies. Tell him about what you're experiencing and that you'd like to do some light role playing in order to help you conquer your sexual anxiety. Slowly phase it out until you're just having sex with the guy.

I dont even make moaning sounds or anything, it just feels silly and weird, I'm so quiet and during sex it always quiet (then I begin to think my what ifs). I would like to just jump on my bf and start making out with him, but them I think what if he dosen't want to have sex, what if I'm doing it wrong, what if he pusses me away. I'm always thinking. I just want to make sure I'm not being stupid about anything or I want to know that I'm doing it right.

Then shut your brain up. It's as easy to say as it is to do. Get lost in the moment!
You've been with him for three years. Has he pushed you away yet? Has he turned you down at anytime? He'll think it's hot when you jump his bones!

And be more vocal. Learn to moan and scream. Noises show that you're truly enjoying the experience. I've had some non-verbal lovers but they communicated with touch. So if you're not a moaner or a screamer, then communicate with touch. Grab him tightly as you climax. Whisper in his ear how good it feels when he does (whatever).

OG

**WildChild** · 08-03-2009 08:20 AM

You don't have to moan and groan and scream but I find sompletely silent sex almost impossible - if I'm enjoying myself. The good folks at Welcomed say a certain sort of loud breathing is the "normal" response of an orgasming woman, I don't like to be that limiting. What is right for you - is.

I agree that you need to talk to man in your life. Do this sometime when you aren't naked and entwined. Just tell him, that you would like to develop more confidence and verve in the bedroom and would he help you? Educating your self may help, the more you see the range of turn ons and things people do, the more you will realize how tame you are. So watch so porn of different types just to get a feel for that. Get some books, you might start with, Going Down, The Orgasm Loop, Lube Job, and The New Tantra. These are all about pretty basic sexual behavior. But just to broaden your perspective (if you know just how far some people go, you'll probably feel better about anything you do) do some searches on BDSM, swapping and DD, for starters.

**nightqueen** · 08-03-2009 11:25 AM

Just go for it! I bet your boyfriend will be very happy if you just let yourself go and ENJOY!!

**Theresa** · 08-03-2009 01:51 PM

After many years of not being vocal and not asking for more in the bedroom has had a very negative effect in my sex life. If it feels good, which I am sure it does, let him know. I believe that it will make you and your partner alot happier in the bedroom. It is hard to change things later so do it now.

Even now that I am more vocal as to what I want it is going to be an uphill battle. If it feels good - scream!!!!! If you want more or different things - tell him!!!!!!

**diamond_dust** · 08-03-2009 06:36 PM

Thank-you everyone. Next time I'm at my bfs house I'm just going to go with my gut and do what I want, suprise him! I've got to stop thinking about everyhting and wondering if he feels good or if I look stipd or if I'm doing it wrong! So before I can even think about anything I'll jet grab him and kiss him!!!

**Sandra_does** · 08-04-2009 07:46 AM

Mmmmm...Diamond, I do hope you get back to us...I do love a story with a happy (juicy) ending...SIGH !

Diamond...read it all here...they are right...! Your worries are about yourself, your own fears, and that is selfishness. Your performance is to please him out of his mind so that he will do the same for you...

HE is the most important person in your bed...NOT YOU...!!! If you prove that to him then he will reciprocate and eventually you will moan, groan and scream because you will find out how doing so will enhance his performance and heighten your own pleasures...

Turn yourself on, girl, you have the power. Experiment with your power and drive him out of his mind for wanting you...

Go beyond the bed...far beyond...use your imagination and exploit your own fantasies and his also...be sensual...dream your fantasies and make them become real. Do a few silly-like things to drive his sexual madness...doing so will drive him to you more appreciatively, guarranteed...

Things I do...

When in a crowd, I lean close to him...always smile and make sure everyone knows I belong to him alone...I dress my best for the occasion so that other guys will be jealous of him...

Sometimes I ask him to stop the car...even in traffic...then I rub his toy to an erection and tell him I just wanted to be sure it still works...!!!

When he takes me shopping I always invite him into the dressing room with me...his opinion is important to me...need I also emphasize "pin"...? heee heeee

To some girls this may seem silly and stupid...well, those that do think so are too ed selfish to understand their own man's needs... Then they wonder why his eyes...and his toy...go elsewhere...sobeit...!!!

When he takes me to a movie I never wear panties but keep a pair in my purse. If he doesn't attempt to touch me I wave the panties in front of him and tell him they go in his mouth to stifle his moans because he is about to have a fantasy come true...and...he does...!

That's how it works, Diamond, so don't be shy. Our men love these things and the more sensual and seductive you are the better his caring and performance will be...

It's a lifelong venture, Diamond, so let your fantasies become real and build upon them... Give that hunk something to brag about and your love will last forever...

Enjoy,

Sandra_does...

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