I'm a virgin...going to the beach for a tryst soon.

**belleisangelic** · 08-09-2009 11:56 PM

Hey all,
I"m pretty new here, so this is my first official thread lol..we'll see how it goes.
I don't think I'm using the word tryst correctly in this case, but let me get straight to the point. I met this guy at a friends cookout a few weeks ago, we talked and I was flirting with him heavily. later that night we were making out and he started to touch me until I stopped him and said " I know u weren't expecting me to give it up to u so suddenly now are u?" he laughed and said " no, and I respect that seriously". my hormones were going mad and if I wasn't a virgin I would've....well u know haha. I decided to tell him that I was a virgin..maybe that was a bad move but I wanted to be honest with him. Well, we talked more and more throughout the weeks ahead. Since I start school soon I was hoping to see him at least once. Well, the only problem is..he lives about 2 hours away from me...which isn't terrible but isn't easy. He asked me to stay with him at his beach house for a couple days before I go back to school..and I agreed. Only problem is that I know the temptation to have sex will be there...but I also know that me and him haven't even been out on a single date or anything like that. I'm 21 now and I personally feel ready to be sexually responsible and active. I loved the feeling of being with him that night, it was comforting and sensual. I just know that if I decide to take this trip, I just don't want to come back feeling regret or shame. I had come to the conclusion, that maybe I could just make an agreement with him before I go down there to not have intercourse?

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 08-10-2009 12:39 AM

I just don't want to come back feeling regret or shame. I had come to the conclusion, that maybe I could just make an agreement with him before I go down there to not have intercourse?

Your a sweety, your jumping back and forth in your mind over all of this aren't you!

Let's look at it.

Your a Virgin.
Your 21, so that's ok.
You've never been on a date with him.
He's asked you to spend (48)hrs with him.
You've agreed.

What do you honestly think may happen?

Honestly?

So, either you accept that this is what YOU want, NOT HIM......YOU... And, you won't come back feeling regret, or:-

You don't go.

Ahhhhhh noooo don't tell me that she says!!!!!!!

Well, that's the scenario....

I can't see someone inviting someone for 48hrs, and then won't see you again, because you'll be starting school, who has never dated you, would be not working towards spending all of those 48hrs saying " it's okay, I like you alot", until you end up saying of fudge it.

You decide what you want from this adventure, sure you can say no and sure you can tell him up-front only he would be going ahha, but I will try and try and try and try in his mind and may succeed. It's the nature of the beast is it not?

Unless, there are others there and you know that for sure and they are not your age, but like "parents" haha, and you demand to sleep somewhere other than in his room now that will work..

CW

**sourpuss** · 08-10-2009 12:43 AM

If you don't want to have sex, then don't. Tell him that you are really attracted to him and that you really want to spend time with him but you are afraid that it will happen. If you think you (or he) can't control yourselves, then don't put yourself in that situation.
On the other hand, if you feel you are ready, then go and have fun and don't regret it. And certainly don't feel any shame. It's totally natural for two people who are attracted to one another to want to have sex. There's nothing that you should be ashamed of in my opinion.
But there mere fact that you are worried about it and asking yourself these questions is a sign that you're probably not ready to go down that road just yet.

**Mrs Doodles** · 08-10-2009 03:01 AM

If your ready to have sex then whats the problem, go for it just make sure you have safe sex!

**OhThereYouAre** · 08-10-2009 05:06 AM

Meh - Why would you make yourself a sex object?

He's probably bragging to his friends right now about the chick he just met that is staying with him at his beach house for a weekend of non committed sex. Oh not to mention she is a VIRGIN! Score!

Save your first time for someone who you have deep feelings for. I've no doubt this strapping young stud is charming indeed. But it's an act. He'll hit it and quit it, guaranteed. And, do you know anything about this guy? What if he has an STD?

How do I know? I used to do shady stuff like that.

Wow to you ladies who condone this type of behavior.

**WildChild** · 08-10-2009 06:49 AM

Don't do what you aren't comfortable with. I think OhThere makes some very good points, from the horses mouth so to speak.

**Ahryin** · 08-10-2009 06:59 AM

Originally Posted by OhThereYouAre

Meh - Why would you make yourself a sex object?

He's probably bragging to his friends right now about the chick he just met that is staying with him at his beach house for a weekend of non committed sex. Oh not to mention she is a VIRGIN! Score!

Save your first time for someone who you have deep feelings for. I've no doubt this strapping young stud is charming indeed. But it's an act. He'll hit it and quit it, guaranteed. And, do you know anything about this guy? What if he has an STD?

How do I know? I used to do shady stuff like that.

Wow to you ladies who condone this type of behavior.

I agree totally, even if he doesn't know you are a virgin he is more than likely planning and talking about it. Especially at that age. You want your first time to be with someone that you Love..not just have a Lusting attraction for. At least that way they will take their time and make your first time greatly memorable and appreciated. You don't even know if you are going to see this cat again. Let me tell you...when I first started dating my SO he would drive an hour and 15mins each way to see me, take me out around town and go home...no nuk nuk I didn't pay for anything and he understood I wasn't playing he was going to wait and get to know ME and ME him before I ever trusted him enough to allow him into my center....

**belleisangelic** · 08-10-2009 08:05 AM

what better advice then from a guy that's been there and done that?
thanks so much for your replies, I guess I'll just have to sleep on it..but then again if I'm sleeping on it then it's probably not meant to be. I'm preparing for a 7 day cruise soon, so I'll have ample time to clear my head and figure out if I want to get away or not ( from my family I mean). Thanks guys!

**OhThereYouAre** · 08-10-2009 08:28 AM

Originally Posted by belleisangelic

what better advice then from a guy that's been there and done that?
thanks so much for your replies, I guess I'll just have to sleep on it..but then again if I'm sleeping on it then it's probably not meant to be. I'm preparing for a 7 day cruise soon, so I'll have ample time to clear my head and figure out if I want to get away or not ( from my family I mean). Thanks guys!

You have a good head on your shoulders. It's just a decision you're going to have to make. Do you want a relationship, or do you want to have casual sex? Make no mistake, that's what he wants - casual sex. Will you feel okay after indulging, or will you feel used?

I'd imagine most women will probably tell you that casual sex is best after you've experienced a few partners first and figured out what you like.

Good luck sweetie - no matter what anyone would have you believe, you are a commodity.

**SinisterUrge** · 08-10-2009 03:30 PM

-Carved In Stone Rules-

*You are not a teenager. If you agree to spend the weekend alone with somebody, you are sending the "I want to have sex with you" signal. If you do not want to have sex with him..... don't go to his house alone!