Thread: Ask us men anything - we'll tell you straight up

They did WHAT? LOL...see and we wonder why we are in debt as a Country now...LOL

Originally Posted by krisi1021

Well, let's see ...
For starters I have a BAD track record of getting into casual relationships with guys. When I say this I don't mean just a "friends with benefits" situation. It's more like I'm involved with commitment-phobes. They refuse to put a title to the already existing relationship that is there. When we go somewhere, and HE covers all charges, they refuse to call it a date. They aren't involved with anyone outside the relationship in anyway, and neither am I. Things like that. It's so clearly a monogamous relationship, so why won't he just say so, and call me his "girlfriend"? Why instead does he insist on calling me his "lady friend"?

I think I probably know the answer to this question, but I'm still interested to know. I'll work my "situation" out in pieces.

You're setting the wrong expectations when you begin the relationship.

Either you're having sex too quick, or you are too passive about your goals.

Or you're just attracted to the wrong kind of men. I hope you dont' have a thing for divorced guys?

More info?

"If there is such a thing... What makes it better?"
My biggest turn on with a BJ is when my wife is passionately enthusiastic about it. Technique is good, but nothing beats the feeling of having someone just want to give me pleasure.
"women have "spots" that turn her on, apart from the obvious, do guys? And, where? "
My ears and nape are very sensitive- love attention there. I had one woman suck my fingers as if it were the real thing and that was amazing. Finally, what may or may not be obvious, but my biggest(and rarest) turnon is slow tongue action on the back door.

Originally Posted by OhThereYouAre

So....when did you find your guy's porn stash?

How did you feel?

Do you masturbate? What do you use and what do you fantasize about?

Mine doesn't do porn, strip clubs, etc. He's got what he wants and as much as he wants with me.

I masturbate for him, or he does me.

Don't assume everyone has your mindset or does as you do, or even thinks as you do. You're not that creative or special, nor in charge of how anyone else acts or what they do.

What you think is normal is only for you.

Rather rude to assume my b/f (or any man) has and uses porn. Saying that in person in a group would only get you punched in the mouth in this area. Consider that when your collectively assume and feel the need to express degrading assumptions about others.

This will be a big shock, but you don't know all about everything to do with relationships, especially the relationships of others.

Originally Posted by OhThereYouAre

You're setting the wrong expectations when you begin the relationship.

Either you're having sex too quick, or you are too passive about your goals.

Or you're just attracted to the wrong kind of men. I hope you dont' have a thing for divorced guys?

More info?

I just typed a LONG response only for it to get erased b/c I wasn't "logged in". Grrr!

So if you need further detail on anything please let me know, but here it goes for a shorter version.
In November of last year I met this guy, that I actually put off meeting for a week or two, just b/c I was finally enjoying being single for the first time in my life!
Well, we hit it off. He is a year younger than me, and has a child with another woman. A woman who has caused a lot of problems in his life. Coming and going, keeping him on a string while she dated other people. Constantly using their child as a way to get more money or more anything from him. I wasn't informed about her "ways" until a month after we were seeing each other. In the beginning I informed him that I wasn't looking for an extended beneficial friendship, and that in time I wanted a committed relationship that would go somewhere, but at that point in time, I wasn't ready to throw myself into another relationship. So we agreed that we would just get to know each other, etc. After a little over a month, and a night full of beer and bowling, we finally slept together. For the next month I started to realize that he wasn't telling his child's mother about me, which I was quickly informed was to prevent drama.
Around March I finally had the inevitable run in with his child's mother. After spending the night talking to her, I didn't understand why everyone I met literally hated her. It made NO sense to me! She expressed her full support for our relationship, and that she knew he cared about me, but that he was still so hurt from what she had done to him that he was unable to open up to me, and how if I ever wanted time with him, that she would be willing to keep their child on the nights we wanted to go out. Well, after walking away from what I thought was a break through for the situation at hand, I saw her true colors. The very next night she refused to pick up their child b/c she had an emergency, even after he expressed that we had plans. After cancelling with me, she showed up to his house, unannounced, just to "check in" on their child, leaving 3 hours later. She told him how she couldn't stand me, and we weren't friends. Then after getting my number from a friend, called me to cuss me out, b/c she heard I said something about her. (Mind you, this woman is 30!) After an week long fight, and her calling him and I nonstop, he suggested we stop seeing each other. Something that wasn't up for discussion.
About a month later, we began casually talking to each other. Text message here and there sort of thing. About a week or two later, we started toying with the idea of seeing each other again, which quickly turned into a reality. Ever since it's literally been perfect between us. There hasn't been any problems, although I'm certain his child's mother is unaware that we are seeing each other again.

Now, here's my problem. Before our split in March, he would make comments of how he couldn't understand how couples could spend years together and not get married, and now he makes comments of how he's never getting married. Before he would get shy and dorky when I would tease him that we were going on a date, and now if I do that he simply says, "I don't do dates". Now he throws in comments of how he "doesn't fall in love". I'm not sure why he's acting like this, and while I've been comfortable with our less than formal relationship, I'm beginning to feel that we have the potential to have an amazing relationship, and frankly, I'm starting to see myself settling down seriously with him (when I say seriously I mean tacking on a title and meeting the parents kind of thing --- baby steps). I just don't know if he is going to feel this way forever about marriage, and not wanting more kids. I just need guidance on what he could even possibly be thinking!

Speak for yourself

Originally Posted by OhThereYouAre

Don't touch our nipples.

My man lives for "the nippies." When I do them right ;P

And yes, we're still early in the relationship and are cute and silly, so they are indeed "nippies."

heres a weird question - why would a man love watching you eat, i love my food and my man loves watching me eat it!!!! i wont even be aware of it until he says in sort of a sexy voice "youre really enjoying that arent you?" and i get embarassed - is this a sex thing. also i so dont believe a man has to text you once a day to show he cares, a lot of men love you but hate texting!!!

Hey
I'm not sure about the "Watching while eating" part but i sure love to watch my girl fall asleep and i would do anything for that :> !!
i guess what he's actually looking at is the little young girl inside you that isnt aware of anything around while eating. I mean, when we eat our food we actually think of how good it might taste or what might be missing it or .. or .. or .. etc
while doing that you "might" disconnect with the world around you for a split second and in my opinion such things will always put a smile on you're partners face.
as i said at the begining, its those split seconds of unawarness that actually makes it that beautiful.

Kay

oops forgot the other questing
i really think men "dont" hate texting, atleast i dont .. i actually hate speaking on the phone for hours or even for any duration. i dont like phone calls but sometimes i need to make them :>
sending a short text msg might be greater than a 30 minute talk, i txt when i miss my girl. it doesnt have to be a long one .. or have anything particular in it, its just a short txt msg such as "whats up with a smily face" .. i know that might sound lame but atleast i know that she knows shes on my mind at that moment.