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Thread: trouble having sex... first time

  1. #11
    WH Assistant Head Moderator Array LanaBear's Avatar
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    Have you tried being on top, that way you have more control over the movement and how far he goes in? Also, just make sure you are relaxed as much as you can be and that you both are lubed up.
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  2. #12
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    Thanks for all your responses. I'm going to try and answer some questions.
    I have never cum but he obviously has, countless times. He's tried getting me to touch myself so I can find out what I like, but I can't do it. Mastrubating makes me uncomfortable... every time I've tried, I can't get past the grossness of how it feels.
    We've done plenty of fooling around- feeling each other up, blow jobs, hand jobs, he fingers me and eats me out. Sometimes we play little games that turn eachother on...etc
    We tried with me on top, but we found it to be slightly easier when he was on top because it was easier for him to see where he was going down there.
    Its currently a stressful time in our lives, cause he's going to college in a few days now and he'll be four hours away. Since the day before we decided to try and have sex the first time, he has woken up without his usual morning erection...which I think is due to a combination of the stress of college and the fact that we were going to have sex.... so we decided recently to wait until his daily morning erection comes back to try again, because the fact that he was losing the erection so easily when we tried was making it hard to break my hymen. So we may have to wait until I visit him in college at the end of september...
    We're both trying to make this as stress-free as possible. No pressure on eachother to have this happen before he leaves. What's meant to be will be. You know.

  3. #13
    TEAM ADMIN Array CHANDLERS WISH's Avatar
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    Mindset.

    It's not gross, more than likely just a thought pattern built up by parents, or thinking it makes you tarty, what ever, but it's normal and it's important because the more you get to experiment the more you release and so you can cum, but also, you can find what your body wants and how it reacts..

    Your boyfriend isn't stupid, seems he realises this..

    Why not push that thought aside and see that it's a sexy thing because it is. Why not spend the next 4 weeks, trying and seeing for yourself alone.

    Masterbation and experiementing should be done alone until you feel comfortable to share those experiences...

    Not being wet, not cumming, informing your partner you think it's grose, him trying and not being able to gives him in-securities that it's him... When it's not...

    I am sure he's understanding and you both sound very grown up...

    Nothing should be forced and sex should not be sex, rather, the two of you loving each other and being intimate and sharing.

    It sounds to me that because the decision was made, to go for it, it's not natural rather, trying, much like when you try for a baby.

    That's not the way it's meant to be..

    Tell him he's in control.. That you love him and that it should be special and that you know it will be regardless and kiss him for ever , and let that foreplay begin as you do, and just relax and let him take you there.

    Good luck.

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    It doesn't happen over night
    if truth were to be told.

    Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
    you must believe!

  4. #14
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    I have to say, when I was younger, I thought I would never masturbate.... I thought it was icky and taboo, whatever. Then one day, I had that random urge and took the ball and ran with it haha. Everyone has that weird feeling when they first start it, but once you get used to it it's pretty great.

    Same thing applies to sex. It took me quite a few tries before finally getting into the swing of things. I mean, the first time I had sex, I was afraid to let him go all the way inside me because I knew it would hurt. But he went VERY slowly, and once you're past that point it's much more enjoyable. I wouldn't say it's a "suck it up and bite the bullet" sort of thing, but you have to give it a few tries before getting used to it and reeeeally enjoying it. I can't go 2 days without it now

    And with masturbating, try not to feel grossed out by it. It's your own body, you should know what's going on and how everything feels. It's a great (and quick) way to figure out what you like and what feels good.

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