Asking all men...

**bella1** · 08-31-2009 06:01 PM

I met this man a couple months ago on a website who lives out of state (not a dating site-we have a similar problem with a family member and needed support). We started texting each other daily. Now we text throughout the day and we speak on the phone minimum 2 times a day. We have become very close and turn to each other with problems. We talk about our sex lives, friends, family, general things, and flirt. We (both in our late 30's) recently both broke up with our significant others. He is the one who initiates the phone calls and he even texts when he's out with friends. My question is: Do you think he is interested in me sexually or does he just see me as a friend? He has stated that sex with friends can ruin the relationship. I have verbalized my interest in him (not blatantly but really obviously) and he is vague. I will be in his area in a couple months and I want to meet him in person and hook up. I don't want a perm. relationship-just a friend with benefits. How do I figure out if he wants to take that step? Men help me!!!

**OG612** · 08-31-2009 06:43 PM

He does. He wants you. So tell him what you want. Be honest. There's no shame in being a 30-something woman with a healthy sex drive who wants to get some action.

OG

**OhThereYouAre** · 08-31-2009 08:13 PM

Yep - he wants to do you.

Why else do you think he is he spending his time contacting you?

Since you said you want a f-buddy, by all means go for it. He's made his intentions clear, and you're old enough to bear the consequences. Just dont' get attached.

Good luck.

**sourpuss** · 08-31-2009 08:24 PM

I have a similar situation almost to the T. Only he lives just a few blocks away from me and we spend a lot of time together. Same thing, lots of texts w/flirting but then he mentions that being physical creates drama, etc.
Everyone always said, oh yeah, no guy would spend that much time with a girl if he wasn't interested but I honestly do think that some guys do just want to be friends with a girl. I don't know.

Tell him how you feel and what you want and leave the ball in his court. You're both responsible adults, if you want to get some action with some you trust, by all means go get it lady. : )

**Kakie** · 09-03-2009 03:21 AM

i agree with the above.. it does sound like he is interested in you, although its true that until he says so then theres no real way to be 100% sure.. i'd maybe leave it until you guys meet up and then you can get a better idea of the chemistry between you and how he acts around you.. then you can go from there..

**Sandra_does** · 09-03-2009 05:03 AM

Hmmmmm......does a gal's opinion mean anything here also...?

Bella...altho it appears you are in control of your own sexual life, it appears this guy is not, and that bothers me tremendously. He is acting like a moonstruck child, is irresponsible with regards to his daily obligations, (work, for instance) and has no respect whatsoever for the company he keeps because of his incessant prowl to get into your panties...

Whether he admits it or not, he wants what you want, but the risk of playing with an iresponsible and disrespectful man can be a risk you cannot afford if he carries a disease and the only proof of you knowing if he has a disease is when YOU have it FROM HIM...!

My suggestion is that if you choose to walk the high wire loosely is that you at least choose an older gentleman, preferably not married as, in majority, they are more compassionate and understanding of your needs as well as being respectful and disease free...

Something to think about...!

Sandra_does...

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 09-03-2009 05:30 AM

Chemistry takes your pants down..

But guys think differently, it's the thrill of the chase, the fantasy, the desire and if all they dreamed does not become a reality, or it's "easy" they fall of the wagon.

Your history.

Yet for us, it's "attention" and as such, so much of it, it must be love right?

LUST...

SEX....

Yet they see the beauty of you seriously inside, as they spend so much time with you.

But when you meet? If the reality to that fantasy is not there and it's just sex? The lust/and future love is gone....

Fact.

They think differently than we do.

As a result, you have a huge chance if you can keep your legs closed and continue to make him wonder after he's gone, this ONCE.

Older, Married? no way on the later, preferably NOT.. It ends in worse heartache.

See if you can be a "good girl" when you meet with him and if he tappers off after? Planning to again meet way in the future, not a couple weeks, or more away, then you laugh, walk tall..

If he doesn't and lots of weeks go by and you meet, make it your best move ever.. after giving him a cold shoulder for a couple a days, directly only to intercourse.

My thoughts.

CW

**UberBicep** · 09-13-2009 05:29 PM

He wants to have sex with you period. Maybe just a little bit shy.

**Lyn** · 09-15-2009 08:53 PM

Shouldn't all you guys be watching some porn instead of on this site?

**WildChild** · 09-15-2009 09:41 PM

This thread was originally directed to the men on the site. Yes, this is a Women's Health Support Forum but we are fortuante to have a number of gentlemen who visit and offer their perspectives. Most of them originally came here seeking women's opinions on something. There is a partner forum for men and some of the ladies visit there. We appreciate and welcome any who have valid questions or input to make.

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