Thread: I caught my husband...

Originally Posted by Katsaly

If I woke up to that, I might be a little irritated at my husband, but mostly because he woke me up.

This is what I'd be irritated at but only for a minute or so.

Personally I'd hope that he hadn't finished before I woke up so he could finish the job with me.

Originally Posted by Kallygirlie

I have to disagree here. Tho it is a good thing that he is turned on by you, it just seems very creep to take a womens underwear off and masterbate to her. I've been woken up to my boyfriend coming into bed, taking my underwear off and climbing on in. I woke up in pain because obviously I'm not to turned on while sleeping and not really wet. I just laid there stunned that he was doing it. Faithful committed relationship or married, either way you aren't his object. I finally got up the never to tell my boyfriend that he made me feel very violated and like a toy to him. Needless to say, he hasn't tried again. I would in a way be flattered for him to rather look at me over porn but still, your sleeping. Can he not possibly wait a few hrs until you are awake. He needs to learn a little self control

I see what you are saying. Me personally, having dealt with the worries of my boyfriends interest in porn and feeling like I am not sexy enough... I think it would make my whole week, month year, to know he is pleasuring himself to the thought of me, to pictures of me, to me while I am awake. But for him to do it to me when I am sleeping ... I'd be a little embarassed. I'm one of those girls that is so body conscious but if we talked about it ahead of time and he said it was a fantasy of his, and I said go for it.

Anything other than that IS a violation of privacy... depending on your comfort level. Now if you are comfy around your guy with no panties on all the time... him taking a peek really isn't much more of a violation that waking up your lover with a bj etc..

But even something done to please the other person, should get a permission slip ahead of time, during a non sexual time... getting the persons feelings about the act. Would it freak you out if I wanted to enjoy your body while you slept? Would you like to wake up to me touching you? Etc etc... I think when asked in most loving trusting relationships the significant other would say yes, that would be okay.

While I wouldn't be mad about it myself, and wished he'd ask ahead of time... I'd probably be too flattered to make it a big deal. But I can understand where kakie is coming from saying that he should learn some self -control, or at least open up the dialogue on his fantasies and get permission to play them out.

Although part of whats turning him on is probably the naughty factor of not having the permission, doing something sneaky... like stealing candy. So asking may take that away from it.

Couples should agree what is and isn't acceptable since it varies a LOT between people. Some people would love to be woken up by their partner performing oral sex on them, some would feel it was a violation.