Thread: sex...living with bf...not what i expected!

Hey guys....I'm sure you've had this posted up here somewhere along these forums....but as you can tell im fairly new so i might as well start up a new post, and hopefully i can get some peace of mind!

My boyfriend and i have been dating for about 6 months, and we just moved into together about a month and a half ago....we were going from having sex everynight...sometimes twice....and now has been slowing down....alot. He was getting irritation on his penis( like a pinched nerve feeling) and he says it was because of having to much sex all at once so consistantly.....
so now we do it every 2-3 days...
I already brought it up to him,casually asking if hes happy with everything, if i please him enough, is he attracted to me like he once was, he swears up and down that he's happy, but sometimes he's tired and sometimes he can go without sex every day or every other day.
And then he goes off on a shpeel about how guys like sex and women LOVE sex and women can have it everyday all day and men simply dont need it....

what do u guys think? am i just at my sexual peak and he's over it?( im 23, and hes 33).....or lik ewhat the is the deal?

my girlfriend tells me that sex when u dont live together seems like it happens more frequent because you look forward to seeing the person and enjoying that amount of time u have with them...but when u live with someone, their there all the time and so are you so it becomes more relaxed.....helpp

I guess i have to remind myself sometimes that its not like a fun exciting new dating experience where you almost look forward to that time alone....and your right i mean it is sharing a life, and i think im extremely stressed out more than usual because he's the first person i've ever lived with, i moved away to be with him and all that stuff so maybe my expectations are high( or like they usually would be ) if we weren't living together....
its hard .....and hes such a guy, he has never lived with neone either so hes not so good about the cuddling all the time and just a few things ive picked out and have been picking on him for.

When we lived away from each other we used to always talk about what we want to do with each other sexy videos convos....daily, on top of that he promised me certain things ...and i guess when your put into the situation things change...i dunno im kinda kaffufled....
i know relationships are hard, and i know there a lot of time and effort....but things like sex, esp cuz im so willing and wanting should be a no brainer..

Somethings up.

He's giving you excuses - first about the "pinched nerve" then waxing philosophical about the difference between males and females. Bah.

And i'm not sure what your friends are talking about - but we have WAY more sex after moving in together. Want it in the AM? - bam....want it after work? - bam. Feel me?

Let me put it this way -
You're a banker - think about your old probability lessons in college. You are together 66% of the day now (assuming an eight hour workday). Before you were together say maybe 25-35% of the day?

Wouldn't you think that the odds would be that you would have MORE sex as your time together almost doubles?

Talk to him...figure it out. And good luck.

I can't say one way or another really since I was a virgin when I married. Maybe you should just really try talking to him. Has anything else changed since you moved in? Is he under more stress at home/work. I know it was stressing to me just to be living with another person and especially having to share everything with them. (of course that didn't keep me from wanting to just jump on him when we were in bed)

Originally Posted by OhThereYouAre

Somethings up.

He's giving you excuses - first about the "pinched nerve" then waxing philosophical about the difference between males and females. Bah.

And i'm not sure what your friends are talking about - but we have WAY more sex after moving in together. Want it in the AM? - bam....want it after work? - bam. Feel me?

Let me put it this way -
You're a banker - think about your old probability lessons in college. You are together 66% of the day now (assuming an eight hour workday). Before you were together say maybe 25-35% of the day?

Wouldn't you think that the odds would be that you would have MORE sex as your time together almost doubles?

Talk to him...figure it out. And good luck.

trust me... it doesnt make any sense to me....like my philosophy is if i can have it everyday and want it....why are u ok with not ddoin it everyday and when i try sometimes u get all of a sudden sleepy or something,retarded.

i believe the pinched nerve thing cuz the first time it happened he felt like a click feeling he said right in the middle of having it and then we tried again later and the same thing...and that feeling lasted a week or so...and then he was like i have to slow down and maybe not do it everyday cuz it might come back...he was trippin out over it....

and then being shut down makes me feel like ok maybe when i wanna jump all over him , i might get turned down....so it doesnt even make me wanna be all over him because i dont want to feel shut down.

he swears up and down that i just worry to much and that hes so attracted to me and this and that and the other thing....I just know that if i didnt want to have sex with someone when they jumped on me id be like k either im deathly tired and cant move, or b. i just dont feel into it liek they do...


he says i please him in every way hes more than happy.... and im starting to get moody about it too these days like actually have attitude towards him ...

most guys i know of , enjoy sex and love that there woman wants them that much and whenever they want.
like i said maybe because im 23, and hes 33 ....and hes just comfortable with it 2-3 times a week i duno...maybe i have raging horomones.... lol.... but like even my ex bf throughout our whole relationship adored me and pleased me and looked forward to being with me on that level.

apparently from some of the posts i've looked through, 2-3 times a week living with someone is normal.
If thats normal, then im going to dislike living with someone lol

I dunno if 2-3 times a week is normal (it seems pretty low to me) but my DH and I usually do it 6-7 times/week (not everyday but sometimes in the morning and evening 1 day).

Being a 10 year age difference between you though, maybe it is something to do with his age. Sometimes I wish I had more experience with these things but so far I've been lucky in that my hubby loves it when I'm all hot for him.

Aside from intercourse, does he do anything else at all to please you or is it just nothing? I really feel for you and hope the situation resolves itself. If he isn't doing it for some reason and he won't get help for it maybe it's time to move on?

Originally Posted by Miya

I dunno if 2-3 times a week is normal (it seems pretty low to me) but my DH and I usually do it 6-7 times/week (not everyday but sometimes in the morning and evening 1 day).

Being a 10 year age difference between you though, maybe it is something to do with his age. Sometimes I wish I had more experience with these things but so far I've been lucky in that my hubby loves it when I'm all hot for him.

Aside from intercourse, does he do anything else at all to please you or is it just nothing? I really feel for you and hope the situation resolves itself. If he isn't doing it for some reason and he won't get help for it maybe it's time to move on?

i hope one of the guys can answer the age difference question for me , it'd help a lot!! or someoneee.

aside from intercourse but in the bedroom, he really is all about pleasing me when we do get frisky, whether its going down or giving me multiple O's or whatever it may be.... Hes a good guy i mean he takes me everywhere with him i would never suspect another girl hes very much a family /home type of guy and isnt ashamed of being seen with his woman whether we're out at a lounge with his friends , his family whatever it may be....

I've read that some people just go through phases were they can do it every day or every other day for a while and then not... he has been stressed from work and stuff....I would be comfortable with the 2-3 days a week if i only really believed that everything was okay....he says so but u know us women instincts...we know when it makes sense ad when it doesnt !!