boyfriend just lays there expecting me to do everything

**mike** · 09-17-2009 09:11 AM

Hopeless dork is exactly right.

A true man wants to hear his wife verbally satisfied. Part of the ego thing. I have trained myself not to cum until I hear her screaming at the top of her lungs at least 3 or 4 times. When I feel that my ego has been fed, I simply give in to her request and finish the job right.

Also I insist that during my valiant efforts, that she verbally responds back to my ego, such as, "good boy" or "dam your hot tonight", or "it's so huge and hot tonight", or " I'm cuming again!!!!!! - your such a horse tonight".

Again, men want their egos fed. That is how we are made. As long as it is fed in a positive way. During sex is one of the best places to do this. Case and point, haven't you women seen how military men love to parade around with all their medals?? If you love your husband, you need to learn how to feed him completely. And trust me, if it is a good marriage, his gratitude will come back to you 1000 fold. Trust me on this. The more you give a good man, the more he will give back. Now that is love.

**stressed** · 09-17-2009 10:37 AM

Originally Posted by mike

Hi angeleyes. just finished reading your post. Maybe I can help. I will be very frank. Your boyfriend is simply selfish, lazy and spoiled. I hate to say it but some of this is your fault. You have spoiled him and now he knows he can take advantage of it. Men and women are simply older children. This is human nature. If you are a parent, you will know what I mean. I have 5 children now. 14y, 13y, 11y, 23m, and finally a 5 week old!

Let me instruct you how to fix this little problem of yours. Simply stop giving in to him. Let him see how it feels to be cut short. I know this seems harsh but that is the only solution. To help intensify his frustration, a man will suffer most when he has an erection. Have you ever noticed how much more nicer he is when he is hard? I have been around some women who know this as an artform.

You have to be firm in what you are doing. And be disciplined. If you really want this problem fixed, you need to do this approach.

And then when he comes to you begging, before you give in, you need to sit him down and start telling him exactly ( do not be suttle with this, guys need a direct approach). If he doesn't seem to get it, then simply tell him that you are not laying down the law. Sex and love is a two-way street - correct? If he wants the one-way then his hand will have to do. But if he wants to share passionate love-sex with you, he will have to start giving.

I repeat, men suffer the most when their balls are blue

. And they start paying more attention.

I hope this helps.

Hope this

First of, congratulations about your children! I'm happy for you! :-)

Secondly, this is an excellent plan, although I'm worried that since he's lazy he will most likely turn to porn instead of sex. I've thought of trying this myself but I just know he'll choose porn over effort if I do it more than once...

**nightqueen** · 09-17-2009 04:15 PM

Originally Posted by angeleyes

I am always expected to do everything in the bedroom. From picking the position to touching myself. He never touches me at all. I never have any stimulation from his hands or anything. I tired putting his hands where I want them, but he only stays there one second and just lays them back down. I always end up stimulating myself and coming that way. Alot of times he comes in 5 minutes, there is no foreplay what so ever. When we do oral, I am always on top, so I dont get the slippery stimulation thet the person on the bottom gets by gravity alone. I am often disgusted, because he comes, and then, when he's done, I'm done, He never offers any help getting me finished. So I totally just quit. Everything else in the relationship is great , except the sex. I have shown him my disgust in him not giving me what I need, but he pretends to care, but he really cares about himself and seems not even concerned on my sexually enjoyment.

Dump him. If he cares so little for you in the bedroom I doubt he cares that much for you otherwise. Move on.

**danceintx** · 09-17-2009 05:02 PM

Originally Posted by nightqueen

Dump him. If he cares so little for you in the bedroom I doubt he cares that much for you otherwise. Move on.

I second that, sounds very self-centered or very uninterested in sex with you, either way......

**151** · 09-17-2009 10:16 PM

AngelEyes - Mike is offering good advice. The best part of it was when he suggested a direct, honest conversation about hat you need out of sex (after you get his "attention"). Take it from someone who knows (me), an unsatisfying or non-existent sex life is a prison sentence and you need to do whatever you need to do to avoid it.

**Abbey** · 09-23-2009 11:44 AM

Well, it makes sense to listen to the guys on this one. Is he lazy? Would he get himself off if needed? Maybe he has low testosterone, chances are if he's not initiating or responding, that would be likely. See; when a mans testosterone are at optimal levels his instinct is to seek and conquer. He would have the urge to bump and grind. You should check into boosting his testosterone.
My husband and I are; and it's awesome, we are using vienue but do some research (go natural). Hopefully he's not just lazy, cause you can't really fix that one.
Best of luck to u two,
Abbey

**jaygirlweek96** · 09-24-2009 08:10 AM

I believe that if he cares, he should at least make some effort. Sex is an important part of a relationship. Try to talk to him about it again. If it doesn't improve then u have to decide if u can live with that.

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