boyfriend just lays there expecting me to do everything

**angeleyes** · 09-16-2009 06:39 PM

I am always expected to do everything in the bedroom. From picking the position to touching myself. He never touches me at all. I never have any stimulation from his hands or anything. I tired putting his hands where I want them, but he only stays there one second and just lays them back down. I always end up stimulating myself and coming that way. Alot of times he comes in 5 minutes, there is no foreplay what so ever. When we do oral, I am always on top, so I dont get the slippery stimulation thet the person on the bottom gets by gravity alone. I am often disgusted, because he comes, and then, when he's done, I'm done, He never offers any help getting me finished. So I totally just quit. Everything else in the relationship is great , except the sex. I have shown him my disgust in him not giving me what I need, but he pretends to care, but he really cares about himself and seems not even concerned on my sexually enjoyment.

**WildChild** · 09-16-2009 07:15 PM

I think you said it in your response to another poster, "ask if you want this relationship to continue or not. Because you can't and don't want to live this way, you deserve better."

**Ahryin** · 09-16-2009 10:53 PM

How about you reverse it! Get on top go for like 2 or 3 minutes...reallly good and then just stop...get off and go to bed!
Honestly I was just listening to a Steve Harvey show when the woman was going through the same exact thing! Here is my advice...give him nicknames!

Call him Thumper...when he asks why tell him because Two Thumps and your done!

Go out and but yourself some really good toys (get the box that comes with like 6) line them up on the dresser..when he asks why respond...someone has to please me!

Have a conversation with your girlfriend refering to him as minute man
I.E. I can't minute man is here

Start watching porno's in surround sound in the middle of the living room watch the kind where all the man does is eat and masterbate right there in the living room!

Cook popcorn and yell out "Baby...its takes longer to pop popcorn than it does for us to have sex" and laugh!

My point is...at this point he doesn't even care! He isn't attracted to you. The reason why everything else is good is because NO ONE ELSE wants him! What other woman would deal with such a horrible sex life with no concideration what so ever for the partner. Is that your description of Love? When you love someone you want that person to be happy all over! Sexually, mentally, physically and spiritually!

**Hopeless Dork** · 09-16-2009 11:32 PM

I don't think humiliating him or making him feel inadequate is going to help you get more or better sex, in fact it may push it the opposite direction.

Does he have much experience? Could he be nervous or shy about sex? Perhaps he doesn't do things out of fear that he will do it wrong, or is just embarassed to try.

Give him positive reinforcement when he does things you like.. assure him, reassure him when he is pleasing you. The typical guy wants to be a good lover and please his partner, its a man thing to be able to do so.

If he is not shy about sex and has a lot of experience, it could be that he's just plain selfish but if that was the case that type of selfishness would be present outside of the bedroom as well.

**Ahryin** · 09-17-2009 12:02 AM

lol..my advice wasn't for him to stay with him and I've known and heard of men who are selfish in the bedroom and not elsewhere

**Hopeless Dork** · 09-17-2009 02:52 AM

Originally Posted by Ahryin

lol..my advice wasn't for him to stay with him and I've known and heard of men who are selfish in the bedroom and not elsewhere

True... I know there are some , but its pretty rare. Unless the guy is a jerk... he wants his chick happy , ESPECIALLY sexually. Most (emphasis on most) guys will do just about anything if they know it makes the other feel good... key is they have to KNOW what their lover wants, and like one of my favorite posters said in another thread sometimes with men need you to blunt.

Subtly does not always work with guys... brushing his hand over a spot you want touched might clue him in, or he may be just as clueless.. telling him specifically, I like it when you touch me here... I want you to touch me here... spell it out -- if he REFUSES... then you know he's only out for his own pleasure.

**rcoreyus** · 09-17-2009 05:42 AM

He sounds selfish, not unskilled, and that isn't likely to change. You need to decide if it is worth giving up a happy sex life to be with this man.

**OhThereYouAre** · 09-17-2009 06:55 AM

Originally Posted by rcoreyus

He sounds selfish, not unskilled, and that isn't likely to change. You need to decide if it is worth giving up a happy sex life to be with this man.

Yes sir.

He isn't likely to change. You're gonna have to have a talk with him and see where that gets you. Hopefully off.

If he doesn't change, you're gonna have to decide whether or not you love him enough to be sexually frustrated all the time.

FWIW - Don't take a reactive stance, as was suggested up above with the insults and extra curriculars. Suggestions like this rarely work out, especially with men. 2 wrongs don't make a right.

**mike** · 09-17-2009 09:59 AM

Hi angeleyes. just finished reading your post. Maybe I can help. I will be very frank. Your boyfriend is simply selfish, lazy and spoiled. I hate to say it but some of this is your fault. You have spoiled him and now he knows he can take advantage of it. Men and women are simply older children. This is human nature. If you are a parent, you will know what I mean. I have 5 children now. 14y, 13y, 11y, 23m, and finally a 5 week old!

Let me instruct you how to fix this little problem of yours. Simply stop giving in to him. Let him see how it feels to be cut short. I know this seems harsh but that is the only solution. To help intensify his frustration, a man will suffer most when he has an erection. Have you ever noticed how much more nicer he is when he is hard? I have been around some women who know this as an artform.

You have to be firm in what you are doing. And be disciplined. If you really want this problem fixed, you need to do this approach.

And then when he comes to you begging, before you give in, you need to sit him down and start telling him exactly ( do not be suttle with this, guys need a direct approach). If he doesn't seem to get it, then simply tell him that you are not laying down the law. Sex and love is a two-way street - correct? If he wants the one-way then his hand will have to do. But if he wants to share passionate love-sex with you, he will have to start giving.

I repeat, men suffer the most when their balls are blue

. And they start paying more attention.

I hope this helps.

Hope this

**Theresa** · 09-17-2009 10:06 AM

Oh angeleyes.....I know exactly what your are talking about and I have been with my husband for 19 years. You need to talk to him and get things changed before it is to late. You don't want to live like this forever. It is frustrating but with time and communication I know he will help you out like you are doing for him.

Thread: boyfriend just lays there expecting me to do everything

LinkBack

Thread Tools

Search Thread

Display

boyfriend just lays there expecting me to do everything

boyfriend selfish and lazy

Similar Threads

"What To Expect When You're Expecting"

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions