need feedback-men masturbating after marriage

**happywife2009** · 09-24-2009 12:08 AM

I have been w/my husband for 17 years..married almost 10 of them. When we 1st got together, I seemed content w/his masturbation, in fact, I got him a subscription to Playboy for his b-day. As the years have gone on, I have gained wt, had two children, & plain gotten a bit older. For about 5 years, I have been in the same boat as you're in right now up until about 3 mos ago. Finally, a friend of mine mentioned that my husband was/is shy about things sexually. That made me realize that on top of his shyness & MY shaming him, made things AWFUL for him. If you're a MD, the thing maybe you have forgotten is that men NEED to release/have sex every 72 hrs. If they don't, they WILL become aggitated, frustrated & that is not pretty for us ladies to have to deal w/that. It sounds like your husband may possibly be shy also & shaming him will do NOTHING but make him hide from you more w/his sexual fantasies. One thing I asked my husband was, "When you masturbate, say, in the morning when I'm work, do you still make love w/me THAT night?" His answer w/a loving smile on his face, "YES, ABSOLUTELY!" This right here helped me to relax, knowing I was NOT going to miss out on what I want & need

Think about what YOU need & tell him lovingly. Maybe you want a bit of attention daily, ie, he could gently hug you from behind & kiss the back of your neck. Or, while he's holding you, he puts his hand(s) on the TOP part of your bottom as if he's ABOUT to run his hand(s) down, but doesn't. Just think & make sure he understands what you NEED. He has a need to masturbate, so you can NOT ask him to stop. IT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN, SO DO NOT TRY. Also, offer to WATCH him masturbate! YES. I said watch him if he is ok w/it. I'm willing to bet he would be fine w/that offer! It is a BEAUTIFUL & SEXY thing to watch a man perform this for you! It would be a show JUST FOR YOU

And lastly, offer to masturbate YOURSELF for him OR even WITH him. It will probably be a very powerful show, full of love AND drama

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 09-24-2009 05:06 AM

Feel the energy

Moved to new thread. Posted in 2008 thread which no member's are present.

CW

**Miya** · 09-24-2009 05:17 AM

Originally Posted by happywife2009

offer to masturbate YOURSELF for him OR even WITH him. It will probably be a very powerful show, full of love AND drama

I definitely agree with this IMO at least. It's a real turn on for me and usually leads to even better things as when we do it sometimes I stop him before he o's and finish him off myself in some way or let him finish and then, uh, get him ready for a second round.

**jaygirlweek96** · 09-24-2009 05:24 AM

Hmmm interesting. When I was younger, I used to get angry wiv my partners for masturbating. As I grew older I had to accept it.
As long as they r still having sex wiv me

**GlitterAndStuds** · 09-24-2009 06:05 AM

I've never had a problem with masturbation, for either of us. Everyone does it. My SO and I have PLENTY of sex...as in, every night and if we skip a night then we make up for it the next night. Haha. But even I do it just on a whim, just because the mood strikes and he happens to not be around at that moment. If that's all the other person is doing, then there are definitely no worries

**Kallygirlie** · 09-24-2009 06:16 AM

I never really thought of it much honestly. I know I cant satisfy my man everyday because of our work schedule so he needs to do what he needs to do for himself as do I. On the nights when he works, we see each other for about 30 mins between the time I get home from work and the time he heads out for work. Yes we've made good use of that time but usually I'm rushing around trying to get dinner ready and get his lunch packed for that night. Then add my women issues I've been going to the doctors for and we're looking at weeks at a time we go without anything. I'd rather him relieve himself then feel deprived completely

**OhThereYouAre** · 09-24-2009 06:20 AM

Originally Posted by Kallygirlie

On the nights when he works, we see each other for about 30 mins between the time I get home from work and the time he heads out for work. Yes we've made good use of that time but usually I'm rushing around trying to get dinner ready and get his lunch packed for that night.

Just curious - if he is at home...and you are just getting home from work...why is it you making dinner and packing his lunch?

**Kallygirlie** · 09-24-2009 06:29 AM

Originally Posted by OhThereYouAre

Just curious - if he is at home...and you are just getting home from work...why is it you making dinner and packing his lunch?

well thats honestly by choice on my part. Theres many nights he's asking me what I want for dinner so he can get it started. Last night, he made dinner but most of the time I just enjoy cooking dinner. I've always loved cooking (hints why I need to lose weight....lol). Plus it makes me happy knowing that he's never had a women who would do that for him. Nothings wrong with spoiling your man

he spoils me in other ways

**Miya** · 09-24-2009 06:33 AM

Mutual appreciation and care. I love it!

**OhThereYouAre** · 09-24-2009 07:12 AM

Originally Posted by Kallygirlie

Nothings wrong with spoiling your man

he spoils me in other ways

Indeed.

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