Are there other women having the same problems? I am a 40 year old Mother of a 5 year old. I've been married for 6 years. Unfortunately, I am Bipolar. Although my husband does his own reserach, it's still very frustrating. I have NO sex drive. I mean absolutely NONE! This has been an ongoing problem for many years because of all the medication I take to regulate the chemical imbalance. I take Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Depakote, and several other meds that are necessary because of a back injury. Our marriage has always been good. That is until last April 7th. Our home and everything we owned were destroyed due to a tornado. We lost everything. We are in an apartment while we rebuilt our home, but if things don't change it's only going to be a house. We hardly ever fought before this storm. Now, my husband and I cannot get through 1 day without fighting. We had to jump through hooks and pull teeth to get what was rightfully ours so the construction of our home has been one problem after another. Our daughter now had Post Tramatic Anxiety issues and has been seeing a counselor and has to take medication which has taken quite a toll as well. We are dealing with behavioral issues and we don't see eye to eye on disipline. Anyway....because of all that's happened, the problem in the bedroom has come to a head. I HATE sex. I don't want to even be in the same room with him some days. much less, make love with him. It's about to destroy our marriage. It's a constant struggle and we fight about it on a daily basis. I'm seeing a doctor trying to get medical advice, but wanted to see if any of you had any suggestions or tools that I can use to perhaps help in the bedroom. I've gone to the extent of buying him toys/etc. to satify himself. I just don't care. And as far as for myself, I could care less if I ever have sex again. HELP! Has anyone bought items that have helped you with your low sex drive? I'm willing to try just about anything!!!!

I am really sorry to hear about your losses and hardships. Don't give up though. You are just in a rough patch of life. If you can both tough it out, things will get better.

The first thing you need to do is be on better terms with your husband before either of you even think about sex. Do the two of you communicate often? And is it open and honest communication at times when you aren't fighting? It's important for the two of you to make private time to sit together and discuss your lives and feelings. Don't save your feelings and concerns for fights. You need to restore the connection you had when things were good. Communication is the foundation of all good relationships. It is ok to disagree and feel hurt, but it's how the two of you act on it that will make all the difference. You both need to learn to work through the disagreements without going over the top and yelling.

It's also important that he is onboard with working to make the relationship better. You can't do it by yourself. You alone should not be seeing a counselor, but both of you should. It's a two way street. I think you both have your own private sessions and then also group session with the two of you and the counselor to talk about the things that bother you.

When the two of you can get back to good communication and understanding, you will start to feel better about sex. When you both put effort into improving the relationship, you will most likely feel more attracted to him. Fighting causes resent, which leads to distance between the two of you. That will kill your desire for each other. You have to eliminate those negative feelings. It won't be easy, but if you both want it, you can do it together.

I do know that most of the medications you are on are known to decrease sex drive. For many people, it completely illiminates it. Some times, it helps to try different brands of medications because you may get different results. Unfortunately, there is not much else you can do about that aside from not taking them. But I understand that may not be possible.

Are you in menopause yet? That will play a HUGE part in your sex drive. You might want to see a doctor to have your hormones checked. In your situation, it would actually be a good thing for you if you could fix the sex drive issue with hormone therapy. Otherwise, I am afraid if it's due to the other meds you are taking, there isn't much else to do.

There are some things you can do to help keep your sex drive alive. Granted, they may not provide drastic improvement, but they may help...

You have to keep your stress down. You sound very stressed to me. Stress is a libido killer. If you are overly stressed, you can forget about ever wanting sex. This is why it's so important for you to work on the communication with your husband. Try not to take things so seriously. I know that may sound ridiculous, but in stress management, it is important not to dwell on things too much. Face it, what good does it do you to constantly worry about something you cannot change? Find some new things to help you destress. It could be anything from a long walk to meditation. Even excersize is known to reduce stress and help keep up the sex drive. It also helps with anxiety which could benefit your whole family.

Eat healthy and drink plenty of water. It is oh-so-important that you take care of yourself. If you don't, say goodbye to the sex drive.

Make sure you are getting enough rest. Same concept... if you are tired and wore out... you won't want sex.

Do things to make you feel good about yourself. If you don't keep up that good feeling of self-worth, you don't have those strong sexual urges. You won't feel sexy and appealing.

Also do romantic things as a couple to keep your relationship alive. If you try and you have a couple of bad "dates" together, don't give up. You are trying to break your bad habits so it could be a long process of trial and error. You both seem to have short fuses so just let things slide and try not to let them enfuriate you.

Marriages that last are between two people that work HARD at it. They are not always easy. What is important is that you respect each other no matter what and don't give up until it's beyond repair. I hope my advice helps some.

This is what I do for a living and I am by no means trying to self promote but I do want to offer my input. You need to find a product that has L-Argenine as a main ingredient and if you don't know what that is just do a search on google. You also need to introduce some every day use products that have pheromones in it, they are to help spike your sexual awareness and can be found in a lot of every day products like lotions and such. I am not really sure if adult stores focus on pheromones but it's worth a look. I would imagine they have some L-Argenine products. Put the L-Argenine on whenever you have time for sex, give it a little while to kick in and you will want the sex. Feel free to email me privately if you have any questions!

Julie