high sex drive but no orgasm?

Sunshineeyes · 09-28-2009, 08:28 AM

ok so my fiance and i both have very high sex drives. most of the time our sex sessions last up to 45 mins. which i love.. and sometimes its pretty quick. lol. but i find myself not having as much orgasms as i used to. i find it harder to orgasm now. and he thinks that its his fault.. in which its totally not his fault. i just cant get in the right position i guess. i dont know.. does anyone have any pointers on how i can have orgasms quicker?

**WildChild** · 09-28-2009, 08:54 AM

More arousal? Get closer to the edge before hand.

OhThereYouAre · 09-28-2009, 09:46 AM

Not sure what your masturbation habits are, but toning that down can help.

**Loveshoes** · 09-28-2009, 10:20 AM

The more sex you have the harder it is to get to orgasm also...almost like being overused...a couple days in between would be the key to that. If you use vibrators or toys often during your sessions then the sensitivity will be lessened and it will be harder to gain that orgasm as well.

Sunshineeyes · 10-06-2009, 10:13 AM

i dont use toys, and i dont masterbate either, i find that i just take too long lol..
but even waiting a few days in between us having sex it still takes a while...

OhThereYouAre · 10-06-2009, 10:43 AM

Try and think of anything that has changed. Job, finances, any added stress...etc etc.

Are you still as aroused as you used to be? How is your sex drive? Do you guys have a different routine you follow in the sack?

Sunshineeyes · 10-07-2009, 11:02 AM

hmm.. job hasn't changed.. our finances are fine.. the only added stress is i have cancer. and my mind keeps thinking about it.. maybe that could have something to do with it.. i find that i am more aroused now than when we first started dating.. which is weird because when we first were together we had sex 4 times a day everyday. now its just a 1 time daily.. sometimes not even daily.. every few days. but lately weve had family visiting us at our house that has stayed with us and we haven;t been sexual at all for almost a week, up until last night. both of our sex drives are high and its always been that way. i dont think we have a routine either, whatever position we get into is the one we stick with during that time.. we always change it up though..

OhThereYouAre · 10-07-2009, 11:15 AM

I am sorry to hear about your condition.

You on any meds for your cancer? That could do it as well.

Otherwise - don't put pressure on it....maybe try masturbation and re-learning your trigger points. It'll come back.

Best to you both.

**Texasred** · 10-07-2009, 10:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sunshineeyes

hmm.. job hasn't changed.. our finances are fine.. the only added stress is i have cancer. and my mind keeps thinking about it.. maybe that could have something to do with it..

That could be it; sex is mostly mental, and if your mind is even the least bit elsewhere, that can kill your O.

Or maybe in the back of your mind is that one of your visitors in another room might hear you - same effect, a distraction when you should be thinking about "coming events."

Wish you the very best with your medical treatments.

- T

Sunshineeyes · 10-08-2009, 03:23 PM

i am not on medication for my cancer.
i am actually going in for my surgery tomorrow morning to get rid of those nasty cells.
i've been freaking out about it all week long. and really not looking forward to it. the recovery process is a long time. and i feel that i cant take too many days off of work b/c they need me. and i am a big part of the buisness.

09-28-2009, 08:28 AM	#1
Sunshineeyes Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: niagara falls, on Posts: 26	high sex drive but no orgasm? ok so my fiance and i both have very high sex drives. most of the time our sex sessions last up to 45 mins. which i love.. and sometimes its pretty quick. lol. but i find myself not having as much orgasms as i used to. i find it harder to orgasm now. and he thinks that its his fault.. in which its totally not his fault. i just cant get in the right position i guess. i dont know.. does anyone have any pointers on how i can have orgasms quicker?

09-28-2009, 08:54 AM	#2
WildChild WH Moderator Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Western USA Posts: 8,699 Blog Entries: 6	More arousal? Get closer to the edge before hand. __________________ We can only learn to love by loving. Iris Mudoch, British writer

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09-28-2009, 09:46 AM	#3
OhThereYouAre Banned from WH Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 1,485	Not sure what your masturbation habits are, but toning that down can help.

09-28-2009, 10:20 AM	#4
Loveshoes VIP Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 82	The more sex you have the harder it is to get to orgasm also...almost like being overused...a couple days in between would be the key to that. If you use vibrators or toys often during your sessions then the sensitivity will be lessened and it will be harder to gain that orgasm as well.

10-06-2009, 10:13 AM	#5
Sunshineeyes Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: niagara falls, on Posts: 26	i dont use toys, and i dont masterbate either, i find that i just take too long lol.. but even waiting a few days in between us having sex it still takes a while...

10-06-2009, 10:43 AM	#6
OhThereYouAre Banned from WH Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 1,485	Try and think of anything that has changed. Job, finances, any added stress...etc etc. Are you still as aroused as you used to be? How is your sex drive? Do you guys have a different routine you follow in the sack?

10-07-2009, 11:02 AM	#7
Sunshineeyes Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: niagara falls, on Posts: 26	hmm.. job hasn't changed.. our finances are fine.. the only added stress is i have cancer. and my mind keeps thinking about it.. maybe that could have something to do with it.. i find that i am more aroused now than when we first started dating.. which is weird because when we first were together we had sex 4 times a day everyday. now its just a 1 time daily.. sometimes not even daily.. every few days. but lately weve had family visiting us at our house that has stayed with us and we haven;t been sexual at all for almost a week, up until last night. both of our sex drives are high and its always been that way. i dont think we have a routine either, whatever position we get into is the one we stick with during that time.. we always change it up though..

10-07-2009, 11:15 AM	#8
OhThereYouAre Banned from WH Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 1,485	I am sorry to hear about your condition. You on any meds for your cancer? That could do it as well. Otherwise - don't put pressure on it....maybe try masturbation and re-learning your trigger points. It'll come back. Best to you both.

10-08-2009, 03:23 PM	#10
Sunshineeyes Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: niagara falls, on Posts: 26	i am not on medication for my cancer. i am actually going in for my surgery tomorrow morning to get rid of those nasty cells. i've been freaking out about it all week long. and really not looking forward to it. the recovery process is a long time. and i feel that i cant take too many days off of work b/c they need me. and i am a big part of the buisness.