A question for the ladies.

**Youngbuck** · 10-04-2009 11:15 PM

When you 1st lost your virginity,did it take a long time to achieve multiple orgasms while having intercourse with a man?

Im asking this because im very frustrated that I can't get my GF to orgasm!.

Im her first and we've been doing it for 2 months for almost everyday,3-5 times a day now and I just can't get her to orgasm at all.She orgasmed once by oral after about 20 minutes of breakin my jaw. Never through intercourse though.

The thing is she has a very very high sex drive and she has masturbated daily for years,even multiple times daily.(red-heads are freaks!) I asked her,when you do it yourself how long does it take you to orgasm?She said anywhere from within a minute to 5 mins..And im sitting there wow we've been going for hours and I cant get you once?!

We have a GREAT relationship.We are very open minded to each other,none of us hide anything.The sex is very passionate,rough and playful.Ive never made love to a woman the way Im with her. I know this isn't my problem because any other partner ive been with there was no problem at all..,I made my ex have over 20 orgasms in one night.

It lasts anywhere from 30 mins to 2 hours so I know this isnt a concerm of time either.We do all positions,sweet talking,foreplay everything you name it!!. My size is 6 1/2 and its pretty thick. She loves it when I go deep,i was thinking maybe its my size? But then that was never a problem before.

It just frustrates me because she has such a high sex drive but yet I can't get her to orgasm?She says shes so turned on by me that she even masturbates thinking to me..But why doesnt it happen in bed?

She is the one for me,I want to be with her rest of my life.But if I cant please her than Im not pleased!

**LanaBear** · 10-04-2009 11:23 PM

Is she still masturbating that much now that you guys are having sex that often? If she is, that may be one problem. Some women can be just like men in that case, the more they masturbate, the more difficult of a time they have getting off with a partner.

Also, how is she masturbating? With fingers, vibrators, dildos...

When she does masturbate, is she having vaginal or clit orgasms? Are you not able to get her to orgasm through clit stimulation?

**Youngbuck** · 10-04-2009 11:41 PM

I just asked her and she said 2-4 times a day as of now.

So you think that could be a problem?

She uses her fingers by the way.

Ive gotten her off once via clit stimulation and that was using my tongue on it.

I don't know the difference between vaginal or clit orgasm by the way.

**LanaBear** · 10-04-2009 11:45 PM

Yeah - I think she needs to back off on the masturbation for a bit until you two can figure this out. She needs to let you work on pleasing her, once it gets worked out, you'll both be happier.

Have you looked into how to achieve g-spot stimulation? Some of the guys may be able to explain this better, but if you stick a finger or two in her, about 1-2 knuckles deep, you'll feel a walnut size thing. Towards the front, not the back. Stroke that, some people suggest a come hither motion. For guys who can achieve that, their women are hardly ever disappointed. It leads to very very intense orgasms.

**Youngbuck** · 10-04-2009 11:52 PM

Ok thanks for your help.

Honestly,I didn't know she was still masturbating that much daily even when we are having sex.

That makes sense now.I will talk to her about this.

Ive tried g-spot on various partners,couldnt figure it out..I will work on it.

By the way,if shes still masturbating 2-4 times daily could this mean something between us or is it just a sexual addiction? She says she does it to thoughts of beatin eaten out,getting it doggy style,being tied and posing in porn and doing dirty things?!

**LanaBear** · 10-05-2009 12:02 AM

I wouldn't necessarily say that her masturbating that much means anything other than she can get off with herself and has yet to be able to with you. However, she needs to agree to back off on it if you two want to work on YOU being able to get her off.

**Youngbuck** · 10-05-2009 12:08 AM

Lets hope she'll be able to drop it because she said that she does it to relieve stress.

Apparently I don't do that :/

**LanaBear** · 10-05-2009 12:30 AM

Yeah - absolutely - having an orgasm is a huge stress reliever. However, if she can work with you by not doing it so often and being able to orgasm with you, it will be even better for her.

Don't be so hard on yourself. Thumbs up to you for caring enough about her and her pleasure to come here and seek advice. Keep talking to her and make sure she "directs" you as to what feels good to her and what doesn't.

**OhThereYouAre** · 10-05-2009 07:23 AM

Few things.

If she wants you to be able to pleasure her:

1. She has to show you. Different people like different things. She'll have to guide you while you are doing whatever. Ask her to tell you what she likes. Just FYI - when you're hitting the right spot, you'll feel her butt hole tighten.

2. Intercourse - put off trying for orgasms during intercourse until you've mastered other things.

3. She's probably going to have to tone down the masturbation. If she's giving herself 2-4 clitoral orgasms a day, that isn't helping your cause much. If she's satisfying herself, she doesn't much need your helf, nor will be interested in it as much.

4. Get the size thing out of your head. Too big or too small has little to do with your ability to please a woman. Has more to do with your mood her mood and your ability to be consistent.

The good news is that she can do it herself, and that she can do it quickly. Try guiding a woman who isn't yet orgasmic.

Good luck.

**Youngbuck** · 10-05-2009 03:30 PM

We've discussed the issue and she agrees that she needs to stop.

She said she does it to relieve stress %90 of the time,NOT because she is horny.

Her family n school puts alot of pressure on her and Im trying to help her out by meditation and yoga for relaxing/destressing techniques.

Thank you for the information.

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