Thread: Frustrated?

I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years, we have lived together for 2. He is 36 and I am 27. When we first got together we had sex at least every other day. Sex was great. Then 6 months into the relationship, it slowed down. I realised I always initiated sex, so I stopped and we would go without sex for 6-8 weeks, until I gave in and again initiated it. He is very loving and shows me affection and compliments me all the time, but no action. My confidence is not what it once was because of this. When I bring up the subject he will joke about it or change the subject. Sometimes it works and we have sex, but do I need to make a issue of it every time?

Does anybody else have the same problem?

My guy usually always initiates... he prefers to have sex daily, and since I don't need it that often (every couple of days or so), I therefore don't initiate much. He sometimes gets bothered by that.... but with him always initiating before I do and the fact that I like being a bit dominated in that area, I think it's fairly explanatory and is no reason for alarm. But... going for 6-8 weeks is a long time, and him not wanting to talk about it is a concern as well (maybe he's just uncomfortable with the topic? Doesn't want to feel like he's being blamed or is 'bad in bed'?). The most I've ever gone without is a few days, so I would say that communication is key to being able to figure out what is behind it all.

Caterpillar79/Kms – Thanks for you reply… My boyfriend does have a stressful job and works long hours, I understand this drains his energy and I am very patient. When we are on holiday and very relaxed our sex life does improve but only slightly and that’s when he does initiate. I have tried to spice things up by wearing sexy lingerie but to no avail.

I hate comparing relationships, but with previous partners I have had a healthy sex life and have experimented with new ideas to keep it alive. I feel I cannot approach him with ideas in case he is offended and thinks he doesn't satisfy me. When we do have sex I am satisfied, he is a considerate lover; just not as often as I would like.

It concerns me more so when I read other posts. As ‘Kms’ says 6-8 weeks is a very long time without and is definitely a course for concern. However, he is perfect in every other way and I don’t want this to be the end of us.

Do the average couple have sex twice a week, if not more?

Any ideas to how I can improve my situation would be appreciated.

Hi Irish, I'm in the same boat.... well sort of, I always initiate sex - but generally get shot down so we only do it once every week or 2 or 4 And it has really hurt my self esteem, especially since I've always had a great sex life with partner in the past. But i'd say there is hope for you because you all use to have a good sex life... it could be what a lot of couples describe/go through as the relationship gets older things slow down... I dunno, I wish I could give you more insight.