GF expressing interest in threesome...?

**MostlyConfused** · 10-14-2009 03:32 PM

Hey,

So background - me and my GF have been together for about 4 years now, have a happy healthy relationship. About 2 weeks ago she mentioned during sex how she loves to masterbate to lesbian porn (heat of the moment kind of thing)... which, after some discussion, can be understandable i suppose (her take was that lesbian porn is about pleasing the girl, which is what she wants to see hence why she likes it). We do not live together as she is still finishing university so this was news to me.

So that was fine, however about a week later we got into another discussion on the topic and she told me that she would be interested in having a sexual experience with another girl, or more so a threesome... however she said she would not want to have a threesome with me as it might mess up the relationship.. but if she was single she would definitely like to have one.

I agree that a threesome would probably be the beginning of the end of our relationship as neither of us likes the idea of having to see the other with someone else. So ...good, case closed. BUT.. if this is something she really wants to try and she has made it clear that she wont try it as long as we are together, doesn't that seem to point to us breaking it off so she can explore her new sexual interests? This has all come about pretty suddenly, which is why I am worried about it.

This is a sore spot for me as I had another girlfriend in the past leave me for another girl AFTER we had a threesome. Are my worries of her cheating/breaking it off realistic or am I just overthinking the whole thing because of what has happened in the past? Any input/your take on things would be appreciated!!

**MostlyConfused** · 10-14-2009 04:42 PM

Sorry forgot to add something!

She also made a comment a little while ago that it would be really easy for a girl to 'be with' another girl because she could just say she was gong to stay at her friends house for a sleepover. She lives with her family still, so the comment was more directed at that (she still tells them where she is going... believe it or not they still object when she stays with me) but still another unsettling piece of the puzzle from my perspective. Anyways, hope to hear some advice!

**alterview** · 10-14-2009 05:28 PM

MC-

What a wonderful fantasy! My gf and I both share this fantasy. It will never happen, thankfully. We both know that it could easily be the doom of our relationship. It's just way too complex.

You sound like you are fairly young still. Are you really and truly in love with this gf? I wouldn't risk it if you are. The only way that I would have ever done a 3some is if it was completely casual and hopefully with people that I would never see again. Fat chance but still a very nice fantasy.

When you are young and not in love, might as well have a good time as long as you are safe about it. This might be her thinking too. Sorry if this isn't exactly what you whated to hear.

cheers!

**OhThereYouAre** · 10-15-2009 07:06 AM

Man - all this talk of bisexual women.

I was at a party last weekend and had a slightly drunk friend admit that his wife was bisexual. I had always thought it because his wife had subtly hit on a girl I had brought to their house a while back.

He went on with his hypothesis that all woman are bisexual and that men shouldn't keep them from expressing their inherent bisexuality.

Whether its a man or woman, I do not like the idea of another person pleasing my significant other. Anyone willing to allow that to happen should tread carefully.

**Miya** · 10-15-2009 07:29 AM

I agree OTYA. I've had "experiences" with a couple of other women before and still probably would if I weren't married. (I also knew when I was doing it with them I still had my virginity in tact) Now I'd never do anything with another person, man or woman. I'm completely for my hubby and he for me.

I think it's ok to have thoughts about it but it needs to end there. The 3some thing seems like it could just be a really nasty mess and who needs more emotional clutter/baggage in their lives?

**OhThereYouAre** · 10-15-2009 07:33 AM

Originally Posted by Miya

I agree OTYA. I've had "experiences" with a couple of other women before and still probably would if I weren't married.

So are you saying you are bisexual? What is your take on all women being bisexual to some extent?

**Miya** · 10-15-2009 07:52 AM

Well I'm completely hetero now but have had sexual encounters with women in the past so I guess that makes me bisexual (I love to see a beautiful women clothed or nude now).

I think it's probably true with inherent bisexuality even though most of us repress it because it's something "bad girls and nasty women do." Ehh whatever on that one but I've heard it from friends and their mothers. I don't though think it's primarily about sex so much as the loving, caring, caressing nature of women, even with one another.

We tend to be more open with each other too while guys tend to me more solitary I think. It's difficult to explain the thought but my instinct says that most women and have some (at least latent) bisexual curiosity probably more so than guys but I'm not sure if that is because of genetics or environment or a combination of the two.

**WildChild** · 10-15-2009 07:59 AM

I'll chime in here, I've no interest in other women sexually. I've discussed this some women friends who feel the same. We can notice that another woman is attractive, just as we may notice that a man is, but it doesn't mean there is any desire there. When there is a man I care for, that where my interest and desire is focused. When I'm single, I'm not panting after every good looking man I see. In fact there are very few who bring up any real interest, no woman ever has. I've been hit on by women but the idea leaves me flat.

I really don't buy this stuff that all women are bi or have bi tendancies. I haven't seen the survey that was used, but language is a tricky thing and I haven't seen a survey yet (used to work for the census-I've seen a few - they do them for everyone) that doesn't have a slant to it. The researchers always have some leaning that is reflected in the survey.

**Miya** · 10-15-2009 08:02 AM

I think both genders at some point in their lives wonder what it would be like to be with a person who had the same equipment as themselves.

**WildChild** · 10-15-2009 08:02 AM

Women may be more honest than men about what they do notice or feel toward others especially of the same gender. Men seem to have a real hard core yuck factor when it comes to other men - unless they are bi or gay. Look at how many so called conservatives who make a career out of ranting about homosexuality - turn out to mbe bi or gay!

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