SEX: Women you date v. Women you marry

**kygirl** · 10-15-2009 03:29 PM

Let me start off by saying I hope this in NO WAY offends any married women. I am just asking based on what I was told by some of my guy friends and also because I am curious as to other people's thoughts on this....

Okay, I consider myself pretty adventurous in the bedroom. I like sex, I like to experiment. Nothing as crazy as I used to, but I do have some stories from my younger days.

I was told once by one of my guy friends that I was the kind of girl that guys like to date but that they prefer their potential spouses to be a bit more reserved. I think that's silly because I think that is a lot of the problem with guys who complain about their wives and their sex life. They can't marry someone who is kinda whatever in the bedroom and then be upset that they are married and their wife isn't into sex?

Thoughts on this? I kind of find myself waiting for the guys I date to "make the first move" on things out of the norm because I am a bit afraid to seem too into things. I have openly discussed my theory with my current squeeze

about men and their lack of sex, but yet I catch myself being less adventuresome because I wonder if maybe my friend is *kinda* right?

Guys? Any adventurous married women with ideas?

**Texinator** · 10-15-2009 03:48 PM

Originally Posted by kygirl

they prefer their potential spouses to be a bit more reserved.

What. The. (Expletive Deleted).

That's like saying 'Yeah, I like smart girls, but I prefer my future wife to be a bit dumber' or 'Hey, I love a beautiful woman, but I'd rather that my future wife look like she was beat with an ugly stick'

I don't know, maybe some guys are intimidated by sexual woman. Then they go for the reserved ones so they can whine and moan about the lack of sex and put the blame on her.

Sexually aggressive/adventurous women are great. I don't think they're dirty or slutty but healthy!

**LanaBear** · 10-15-2009 03:50 PM

I'm married, been with hubby for 14 years, married 11. I was adventurous early on, then became reserved, if you could even call it that, and I'm now back to my adventurous side. Both hubby and I are a lot happier now.

Honestly, I think the whole, wanting partners to be a bit more reserved is a crock. You need to be compatible, in the bedroom and out. Whether that means your both adventurous or both reserved, so be it, as long as you are compatible with each other.

**AloneNtheCrowd** · 10-15-2009 08:37 PM

That's crazy talk lol! A more reserved woman I might be able to deal with JUST dating, but I could not be married to one! I need a woman more on the active aggressive adventurous side!

**rcoreyus** · 10-15-2009 11:42 PM

I'd want the same thing dating or in a marriage.

**caterpillar79** · 10-16-2009 12:08 AM

Sometimes you cannot tell who the heart chooses, unless one is thinking with what's in his pants. Nonetheless, societal norms had changed, wherein trying and tasting the milk that the cow provides is acceptable so far.

**Haven** · 10-16-2009 12:11 AM

I was told once by one of my guy friends that I was the kind of girl that guys like to date but that they prefer their potential spouses to be a bit more reserved.

Was he specifically talking about how you were in bed, or was he talking about how you were in general?

**Hopeless Dork** · 10-16-2009 01:13 AM

No guys typically do not want to marry the town sloot... their ego, their fear of what ppl think etc... would prevent that. But if they find a girl that carries herself respectable and can unleash her naughtyness in the bedroom... they get the best of both worlds I would think.

I don't imagine most men hope to find a woman that wont let them explore in the bedroom and despise sex to spend the rest of their lives with -- unless they themselves are asexual ...

I guess there are some crazy men that think they can take a girl that is reserved and hates sex and marry her and his penis will work as a fairy wand and transform her into his little porno star -- but yeah, I'm sure they end up dissapointed lol.

For me, I love my sexual feelings, I love being creative, I love exploring -- but only with my guy. I'd never cheat on him, would never disrespect him, and always carry myself with as much class as I can muster for a clumsy unsophisticated girl.

But when we are alone --- I am the town sloot of our bedroom lol.

**OhThereYouAre** · 10-16-2009 07:06 AM

Meh I *looked* for the same things in the women I dated and in the woman I'm going to marry.

The difference being, that all the things that attracted me about my fiance turned out to be genuine and true.

I think what your guy friends are saying are the difference between girls you wanna fug, and girls you wanna date.

Ludacris put it best -
"We want a lady in the streets, but a freak in the bed."

**kygirl** · 10-16-2009 07:53 AM

Originally Posted by Haven

Was he specifically talking about how you were in bed, or was he talking about how you were in general?

Haven- In the bedroom. I work a professional career and am going to school to enter another professional career. I am very well composed in public. I dress very appropriately for my age. I don't openly flaunt my sexuality in groups of people or anything like that except maybe with close gal pals. I consider myself very much the type of girl that a guy feels he can take home to his mother without concern.

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