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Thread: My boyfriend can't make me orgasm during oral

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    Exclamation My boyfriend can't make me orgasm during oral


    Hi, I've been with my boyfriend for awhile now and we both enjoy giving one another oral, though we are not having sex yet because I'm a virgin and he wants me to have as little pain as possible, so he wants to try other things first. While I greatly enjoy it when he gives me oral, it doesn't make me oragasm and I am beginning to become frustrated that he might not be able to make me come during oral ever. And it's not from lack of trying, he literally went down on me for over an hour one night and nada. Though I felt like I'd had some "mini-orgasms". The only thing we've been able to find that can make me come is what he calls clothes on sex, which is basically us grinding with one of us having underwear on. That's worked 3 times, but other than that I can't seem to have an orgasm with him, though I have no problems when I masturbate.
    More than anything I'd really like to be able to give him some results for his hard work, because he is unbelieveably sweet and just wants to take care of me too. So can someone help me and give me some advice on how to make this happen? Thanks!

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    APRIL 2011 POSTER OF THE MONTH Array ItsASecret's Avatar
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    Well you are not alone. I too cannot orgasm, or even come remotely close when he goes down on me. Feels great but I simply cannot get there. I blame my problem on my larger clitoris, it does not amplify any feel good feelings. All it does it makes it very sensitive far to quickly, to the point of not being able to touch it.
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    WH Head Moderator Array WildChild's Avatar
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    Can you cum by masterbating? You might want to start there, you can't expect him to do what you can't.
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    Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Array Texasred's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WildChild View Post
    Can you cum by masterbating? You might want to start there, you can't expect him to do what you can't.
    She said she can: Quote "I can't seem to have an orgasm with him, though I have no problems when I masturbate." UnQuote
    So wouldn't you suggest that she begin by teaching him how to that, controlling his hand with her own?
    From there, he might, if he's clever, learn to duplicate the same general motions with his lips and tongue (or chin, or nose, or...).

    Granted, it doesn't work for everyone, but the odds are good that it will.

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    Sounds like he is not providing you with the kind of stimulation you need to come. If you are comfortable... masturbate in front of him, with his help... show him how you touch yourself to make youself have an orgasm... let him try using his hand the way you do... perhaps he could start with oral to get you excited then learn please you with his hand to finish up..

    The more he practices with his hand he will get the idea of the kind of pressure, friction etc it takes to make you come and it will get easier to come with oral.
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    Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Array Texasred's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hopeless Dork View Post
    If you are comfortable... masturbate in front of him, with his help... show him how you touch yourself to make youself have an orgasm... let him try using his hand the way you do... perhaps he could start with oral to get you excited then learn please you with his hand to finish up..

    The more he practices with his hand he will get the idea of the kind of pressure, friction etc it takes to make you come and it will get easier to come with oral.
    X2
    Or you don't have to "masturbate" in front of him - just guide him to do it for you. I assure you he'll find it enormously fun and exciting to do!

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    I had this problem at the beginning of my relationship. I just felt super weird and sensitive everytime he went down on me. Finally I just learned to relax. And try to get used to all the sensations. Even thought of other things just keep my mind off what he was doing with his tongue then all the sudden it felt like I was having a seizure, but a really really good one. haha. Maybe just keep trying for it. Or get him to look up some tips for oral? My boyfriend has done the hour long oral for me too with nothing. I just wasn't feeling it that time. Don't get too discouraged by it. Just get comfortable and just "let it happen".

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    You are going to have to guide him.

    Have him do a variety of different movements, and tell him what feels good.

    Right/left/up/down, more clit, not so much clit...etc etc.

    After a few times, he'll pick it up and you can just sit back and relax.

    No worries, this is just a practice and time thing. It'll happen.

    Good luck to you both.

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    Quote Originally Posted by OhThereYouAre View Post
    You are going to have to guide him.

    Have him do a variety of different movements, and tell him what feels good.

    Right/left/up/down, more clit, not so much clit...etc etc.

    After a few times, he'll pick it up and you can just sit back and relax.

    No worries, this is just a practice and time thing. It'll happen.

    Good luck to you both.
    That's actually pretty good advice, thank you. And thanks to everyone else as well. The problem with me showing him how to do it is that I really can't, since I never use my hand to masturbate because it doesn't seem to work for me. I don't know if that means I'm not sensitive enough or I'm just really difficult but it certainly is frustrating.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sulfurics_girl View Post
    The problem with me showing him how to do it is that I really can't, since I never use my hand to masturbate because it doesn't seem to work for me.
    What do you use to masturbate then, if I may be so bold?

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