Virginity

**robbin** · 01-10-2009 01:42 PM

Originally Posted by Pretty In Pink

A couple of nights ago I was in bed with this guy. We were fooling around and he said he wanted to have sex. We tried, but I was too tense, his penis was about an inch in me when it started to hurt so I told him to stop.
My question is: His penis didn't fully enter me, but the tip did. Did I lose my virginity?

hm. i had this exact same problem and same question. a few years later and a few guys later this is what i have learned:
he was big. really big! my hymen bursted years before that from hitting my.. well im not sure exactly where it was now (i was in 6th grade) myself really hard on a saddle when the hore got a little out of control. so a few years later this guy goes in (without my permission) it was the tip, i was super tight and he was really big. i bled and it hurt like crazy. this is because he stretched me outwithout my body's consent. some people said yes and others said no.
i have decided that if you were not ready for that event (your body i mean) and it was just the tip just once, and you guys stoppped cuz that was not what you intended, you have not lost your virginity.
a few years later i asked my guy if he wanted to have sex. we did it hurt at first but we kept going. i bled again because i have a very small cervix. and that is when i lost my virginity. i think you are still a virgin

**cmoneileena1** · 01-10-2009 09:30 PM

I did not bleed with my first time either but I did subsequently. The next guy I dated was a good bit larger than my first and a little bit rougher. You may bleed, you may not. There are many factors and not all of them are sexual. There are many ways to tear the hymen LONG before you have sex resulting in easier entry. It looks like some of you were torn and obviously Pretty In Pink did not. There is no shame attached to either having ruptured your hymen earlier in life with vigorous (non-sexual) activities or to coming into your first bedroom experience completely intact.

**WildChild** · 01-10-2009 10:47 PM

This has come up before and I left it alone. The cervix has nothing to do with intercourse, it is the opening to the uterus and unless you are dialated and close to giving birth, the opening is tiny. Teeny tiny. The penis doesn't enter the cervix, it may, in some women, brush against it or bump it.
The outer lips are called the labia and the penis enters the vagina. For your own sakes ladies, get a book, What Happening to My Body For Girls, might be a good one, get a mirror and get to know your body and it's parts. If you are having sex you should at least know where everything is and what it is called! Especially find out where your clit is. Make it your friend. ;-)

**SinisterUrge** · 01-11-2009 10:04 AM

There are three schools of thought on virginity.

The Hymen method. If your hymen (also called a maidenhead) is intact, you're a virgin. If not, you are not a virgin. Of course you can always rupture your hymen doing sports or riding a horse, but hymen obsessed cultures don't care and they won't consider you a virgin. In some primitve cultures you could be killed for this.

PS: May want to reconsider living in tribal Africa or New Guniea

The ejaculate method. Your a virgin until the first time a man gives your oven a load of dough.

The penetration method. You're a virgin until the first time you're penetrated sexually. (penis, sex toy, fist.... doesn't really matter)

The Baptist method. You're a virgin until the first time a man unsnaps your bra.

**SinisterUrge** · 01-11-2009 10:07 AM

Oh, guess thats four then.

For men the options are: First intercourse, first blowjob, first anal (usually gay men), or first divorce. I have never even heard of any man who considered a handjob to "count"

**SinisterUrge** · 01-11-2009 10:16 AM

PS: I personally subscribe to the penetration theory for women (after all lesbians can't really be virgins) and the vaginal intercourse theory for men (I certainly still felt virginal between my first BJ and my first lay).

Of course I don't care if you're not a virgin and I actual have a rule that any of my partners can't be virgins. I dated a virgin once when I was 19 and generally got the "deer caught in headlights" response from her. So I introduced her to oral sex and rimming and returned her to the wild "unsullied". Have refused to date virgins since. Of course when you're 30 potential sex partners are not virgins anymore.

**echoskybound** · 01-11-2009 08:49 PM

Originally Posted by Smiles302

I never did during or right after sex... ever

lol, you don't know how jealous I am! I had to have "sex" about 30 times before my boyfriend could actually go all the way in... and prior to that I had to have my hymen surgically removed because it was so thick! Lots of pain and bleeding :[

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