Koko78

Hello to everyone on forum,

I am writing cause I have, would say, an unusual problem... maybe somebody is having a simmilar issue in life, or could help me with some useful advice.. the subject speaks for itself I guess.. well, its true: I cannot have an orgasm without the help of a sex toy. It was not like this my whole life of course.. it begin couple of years ago, when I started to experiment with my sexuality and discover that the best pleasure I achieve is while using vibrator. I think many women will agree with me, specially if it is used with your man in bed. My ex boyfriend didnt mind it, he was used to have a sex toy in our bed, during love making and I would easily cum.. However, we broke up and now I have a problem with my new guy. He refuses to accept any 'help from aside'... dont know what to do? I am confused.. I tried talk to him, explaining that it doesnt jeopardize his masculinity in any way.. but he wont listen.. and it start affecting our sex life. I think he is afraid, no matter how open minded he is actually. What to do, because I care for him, but in the same way I care for my own pleasure!? Do all man really have so little self esteem!? Isnt it ironic that woman in 21 century cannot freely enjoy her body in a way that she really feels it?
ps. this is the cause of all my troubles (not sure if here was some topic about sex toys):

x.st.angel.x

Not sure what suggestions i could give you but i will mention that i do have the same problem. I cannot orgasm without help from a vibrator

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Lifes not about how many breaths you take its about how many moments take your breath away!

OhThereYouAre

This situation has nothing to do with low self esteem. More to do with ego.

Conversely, how would you feel if you boyfriend couldn't have an orgasm with you, without, say, the help of porn or some other aid? You might have the same feelings he's having..."what does she need me for?"

In addition, why wouldn't you like the thought of your man wanting to please you himself? That indicates that he is a willing and thoughtful lover.

You mention that you weren't always confined to a vibrator....but now you require it in order to have an orgasm. In other words, you've become dependent on a machine for sexual gratification. I don't think that this situation is the pinnacle of a healthy sexual relationship. If this is the case, what do you need your man, or any man for that matter, for?

Just like you need to feel wanted, so does your man.

The good news is - you can resensitive yourself.

The bad news is - a lot of people lack the self control to do so.

If you really like the new guy, you are probably going to have to decide what is more important, him, or your vibrator.

Best of luck to you both.

__________________
'If you think you can or you can't, you're probably right..."

"It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit..."

"People who lack the sense to question Big Lies always end up in deep trouble..."

"I don't worry about pointing fingers in the past...i operate under the assumption that every saint has a past and every sinner has a future..."

"Build the life you want and then find someone to share it with, someone who fits where you are and where you are going..."

Loveshoes

Everything that OTYA said is completely true. The other issue is that, once you use a vibrator on a regular basis, the sensitivity goes away and your guy will never be able to pleasure you. They just can't move at the same speed with the same motion. So you'll have to give up the vibrator for a little while in order for your body parts to be able to respond to what your guy can do. Its so worth it though!

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usndiver

what type of sex toy are you using? do you like the insertion or the vibrations on your clit?

what i have found & later discussed with a Ex that some men can be intimidated by a, lets say "a larger dildo/vibrator". especially if its "larger", even just a little bit,then him.

i would start him off with one of the small finger vibes, or jus a small massager. use it to reach orgasm while your on top of him, with him inside you. show him you need and love him to be with you when you reach orgasm. that this is no different then you rubbing your clit, just easier and less tiring.

Again, this all depends again on what type of toy you have and how you want to use it.

Mes_T

I disagree with one of the above posters that a vibrator is a bad idea or somehow worse than doing it a different way. Your man could use the vibrator on you himself, one of those little ones that was also mentioned, and that shouldn't be any less "authentic" than doing it without one.

And anyway, I'd like to think that we can find more use out of a man than them rubbing our clits... (Not that that isn't important. )

Koko78

I have been on a bussines trip, and when I open forum I was greatly surprised to see these answers... thanks for aswering. I am glad that I am not the only one with these issue, since it cant be a taboo topic in 21st century and it makes feel me better now.. thank you all.. would love to continue this discussion..!
Oh there you are- i must say that I dont agree with you. It has nothing to do with my ego, more with my (un)sensitivity, since I cannot achieve an orgasm without high stimulation-- or to put it in another words- like Mes T said it nicely - he can use vibrator on me AND stimulate my clit AND not feel intimidated, since it has nothing to do with a size Futhermore, I dont have nothing against porn.. moreover, i like it and watch it with him time to time, to spice up our sex life. So, i think its normal, as much its normal to use sex toys in order to have the best plesure and experience divinish orgasms. We havent see each other for a week now, so cant wait to see him and try to make it sexy and slow.. with a high heels and my toy

OhThereYouAre

I wasn't talking about your ego. I was talking about his.

I never said you watched porn. I was painting a scenario.

If you think it's natural, why are you posting concerns about it on a public forum?

__________________
'If you think you can or you can't, you're probably right..."

"It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit..."

"People who lack the sense to question Big Lies always end up in deep trouble..."

"I don't worry about pointing fingers in the past...i operate under the assumption that every saint has a past and every sinner has a future..."

"Build the life you want and then find someone to share it with, someone who fits where you are and where you are going..."

OhThereYouAre

Lastly - Since you didn't always need a vibrator, it's likely that your vibrator is what has made your sensitivity level go down.

__________________
'If you think you can or you can't, you're probably right..."

"It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit..."

"People who lack the sense to question Big Lies always end up in deep trouble..."

"I don't worry about pointing fingers in the past...i operate under the assumption that every saint has a past and every sinner has a future..."

"Build the life you want and then find someone to share it with, someone who fits where you are and where you are going..."