alicat

I've been with 2 men in my entire 40+ years. Hubby #1 was my first and he was, let's just say not so exciting in the bedroom. Sex was always OK, but like vanilla ice cream ok. To top it all off, hubby #1 was not one that liked the idea that I was enjoying myself. I dont' really want to go into a lot of detail but one time I tried talking dirty to him and he stopped and slapped me. I don't need to be told what an idiot he was, I know that but therein lies my problem.

My new husband is all that and a bag of chips. He is the swirl icecream with every add-in imaginable, lol. He is wonderful in every way and I have no reason to believe he is unhappy with our sex life. However, I still carry some inhibitions from my past and would love to get past them. In the 3 years we've been married I've learned to talk a little bit dirty (lol) and we've got a drawer full of toys. Yes, oral is given and received often..that is not the problem. That said, I would LOVE to SURPRISE him one night! Any suggestions how a timid mouse can make her man roar like a lion?

OhThereYouAre

A hot bubble bath complete with candles, two glasses of red wine, and an outfit from Frederick's. That should loosen you up a bit.

Oooh lawwdddddddddddddddd.

Good luck.

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WildChild

I understand where you are coming from, it can be difficult when your trust and sexual self esteem have been bruised. When you try to initiate sex and get shut down repeatedly, when you do anything "different" and get a violent response, this can really take a toll and make it difficult to trust that what you do will in fact be welcomed or appreciated. You have to remember that the sexual intimidation and control was about power and insecurity - not really your sexuality.

You might want to start out small and work up to bigger and better things as you build your sense of confidence in not being rejected?

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SinisterUrge

Switch gender roles, try pegging.

CHANDLERS WISH

Age (check), First husband (check), actually mine would look at mags of Hollywood and call all the women .... names... So you can imagine my bedroom .

I do believe that it's inside you and that a "good" man can bring it out of you...

Has he tried to give you a G-Spot orgasm? Has he ever used a silk scarf over your eyes? Tied your hands back behind your head... Let him do so and explore with a massage first and watch yourself go totally.

I think after that, there's nothing you two won't try.

Your sexual, your horney - you need to concentrate on the third element "sensual"... The way you dip your strawberry into your champagne and how you then suck the strawberry, taking tiny bites for instance, in front of him, is sensual...

Your talking "inhibitions" not positions or romance, hense this suggestion.

CW

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ConstanceF

a couple of glasses of wine, and some honest talking between both of you, should help. If you totally trust this man you should be able to open up with him.

C